Return Trip
by Bow to me Fools BOW I SAY
Summary: It's the end of the world for Sokka when his boomerang breaks, but, while exploring a small Fire Nation town, they meet a strange boy who is able to fix it with what appears to be magic. But why is Aang acting so strange about the whole ordeal?
1. One Man Repair Shop

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know that I haven't updated my other story. I'm sorry but this little plot bunny came and won't leave me alone. I will update though! Promise!**

**Elmarine: Ya, she's a crazy bitch that doesn't ever pay attention to me. **

**Me: Oh, get over yourself. Besides, you're in this.**

**Elmarine: Shhhhhhh! Don't give it away! **

**Me: **_**You're**_** telling **_**me**_**? Anyway…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or A:TLA. If I did, Roy Mustang would be the Fuhrer and Sokka would still have his Space Sword. **

**BTW: FMA mostly manga-verse and the GAang are hiding out in the Fire Nation.**

**THIS CHAPPIE HAS BEEN REVISED FROM ITS ORIGANAL VERSION **

**Title**

Sokka was sulking. He had been sulking all day.

"Jeez, Sokka. Why don't you just get over it?" asked Toph as the GAang was setting up camp.

"Get over it?!" he asked incredulously.

"C'mon, Toph. It was really special to him." said Aang, trying to keep the peace.

"Thank you, Aang, for the understanding." Said Sokka, "Besides, it was Toph's fault that it broke!"

"What do you mean it was my fault? It was your own stupid fault for interfering with earthbending practice." Said Toph.

"You still broke Boomerang!" yelled Sokka, standing up. Toph just blew the hair out of her face, annoyed.

"Look, how about we all go into town and get something to eat." Suggested Katara.

"Yeah. Food always makes you feel better." Added Aang.

"It still won't bring Boomerang back." Said Sokka. He whimpered as he brought out the broken pieces of his boomerang for the 20th time in the last hour. Everyone else groaned.

Boomshakalaka (means "line break" in the language the world has yet to discover)

Sokka was still mopey when they got into the town. He walked the entire way with his shoulders hunched and his head hanging. They had to steer him away from hitting poles a couple of times.

The town as a whole seemed to be the opposite of Sokka's mood. It was a cheery small town with bustling little shops and friendly people everywhere. Sokka, despite his mourning, seemed to notice something.

"If this is a town, there should be a repair shop. That means that maybe they can fix Boomerang!" he said, brightening.

"That's the spirit!" said Aang, but Sokka had already run off to the nearest food stand. They followed after.

"Excuse me, sir!" said Sokka, gaining the attention of the man at the stand (heh, rhyme). The man looked at the four of them and smiled.

"What can I do you for, kids?" he asked brightly.

"Where's the nearest repair shop?" Sokka said desperately. The man behind the counter just let out a good-natured laugh.

"What's so funny? WE HAVE A BOOMERANG CRISIS HERE!" said Sokka.

"Ease your engines, kiddo." Said the man, still smiling. "You four must be out-of-towners."

"Yeah, actually, we're from the colonies." Said Katara.

"How'd you know?" asked Aang.

"Well, you see young man, anyone who lives here would know that we don't need repair shops." The man explained.

"What? Are you people so perfect you never break anything?" Toph asked sarcastically. The man laughed again.

"Not at all, young lady. We just have the greatest blessing to ever come to this little town: the Fullmetal Alchemist." He said. As the rest of the group raised an eyebrow, Aang's eyes grew wide.

"Come again?" he asked.

"The Fullmetal Alchemist." The man repeated. "He's the most amazing thing you'll ever see. He can fix anything at all seamlessly."

"Yeah, he fixed an entire half of my shack in a total of five seconds. He didn't even use any bending and the best part is he usually doesn't charge." Said another man who was standing by them. Sokka grabbed the man behind the counter's shirt.

"What are you waiting for, man? Tell me where he is!" Sokka shouted.

"He's staying at the inn just down the road thataways." Said the man, pointing. Sokka all but skipped off that way.

"Great, he's gone insane." Declared Toph. Katara rolled her eyes.

"Thank you for your help." She said to the man.

"No problem, missy." He said, waving as they walked off.

Boomshakalaka

While Sokka hopped on ahead, Katara noticed Aang staring at the ground.

"Aang, is something wrong?" she asked him. He snapped out of his trance.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." He said, and resumed staring at the ground.

"Okay." She said, not convinced.

Once they reached the door, Sokka pounded with both fists. He didn't notice it opening, so he fell as the door swung in.

"AHHHHHH!" Sokka shouted, falling flat on his face. The woman who had opened the door looked down at him, confused.

"Sorry about my brother," said Katara, "he's just an idiot sometimes." The woman chuckled.

"That's what brothers tend to be." She said. "My name is Miss Emilee. Are you here to see the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

"Yes! Where is he? Tell me, woman!" said Sokka. Katara grabbed his shoulder.

"Don't be rude." She said to him. "May we come in?"

"Of course. Right this way." She led them into the inn (heh, double in) and told them to take a seat. There were a lot of people sitting down already; talking, eating, and drinking. Apparently this place was pretty popular, no doubt due to the Fullmetal Alchemist. Miss Emilee went up to get him.

"I wonder if he's all that he's cracked up to be." mused Sokka.

"I don't know, Sokka. I've got a bit of an odd feeling about this." Said Katara.

"You're overreacting." Said Sokka.

"Hey, even I agree with Sugar Queen over here. There's something strange going on here, I can feel it." Said Toph.

"You just don't want me to get Boomerang back you evil, evil Boomerang killer!" said Sokka.

"What do you think, Aang?" asked Katara, but Aang wasn't listening. He was still looking the way Miss Emilee had left.

"Aang?" She asked. He snapped out of it.

"Wha?" he asked.

"You've been acting kind of strange since the walk over here. Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"Of course." Again, Katara didn't buy it.

"He's coming." Said Toph. And, sure enough, down from the staircase came a boy with braided blond hair who was wearing all black except for a red coat and white gloves.

"Hey, everybody!" he called out, waving a hand and smiling big. Everyone in the place cheered in recognition. Sokka, however, had a different reaction.

"That's the Fullmetal Alchemist? But he's so tiny!" he said loudly. The boy's eyes twitched and then narrowed and before Sokka knew it, he had been flipped onto his back.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TEENY TINY PIPSQUEEK AN ANT HAS TROUBLE SEEING!?!" the Fullmetal Alchemist shouted.

"I didn't say that!" said Sokka. The boy was just about to punch Sokka in the face when Aang stopped him.

"Will you relax? We just came here to ask for your help fixing something." He said. The boy grumbled, and Aang let go.

"What if I don't want to?" said the boy, still angered with Sokka. At this, Sokka went down on his knees, hugged the boy's waist and cried "PLEASE! PLEASE! I'M SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! JUST PLEASE FIX BOOMERANG! WHAAAAA!"

"Alright, already! Just get off of me!" said the Fullmetal Alchemist. Sokka did so, and they all walked over to the table. Everyone else cleared away and began to watch intently.

"Okay, so what'cha got for me?" he asked. Sokka's lip trembled as he held out the remains of his precious boomerang and placed them on the table. The boy looked at it and thought for a second. He clapped his hands together and touched the boomerang. There was a bright glow and when it died, Sokka's boomerang was sitting on the table, good as new. Everyone "oooohh"ed and "ahhhh"ed. Sokka picked up his boomerang with utter joy and kissed it. Then he again went down on his knees, hugged the boy's waist, and cried "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"

"Hey! What did I just say!" said the boy, trying to push Sokka off with his foot.

"That was amazing! How did you do that?" said Katara, her eyes wide. The boy smiled mischievously.

"Trade secret." he said.

All the while Aang had been debating with himself if he should go talk to him. Sure, he had stopped him from beating up Sokka, but that was different. He still wasn't sure how to react to seeing the boy. However, his train of thought was cut short by the door slamming open.

In the doorway was a Fire Nation soldier in full uniform, helmet and all. The GAang instinctively tried to make themselves a little less noticed. The soldier, however, looked right past them at the Fullmetal Alchemist.

"Fullmetal, we need to talk." He said. The boy just closed his eyes, crossed his arms, and exhaled loudly.

"About what?" he said, annoyed. The soldier was silent for a while, but there was a tense feeling in the air. The boy seemed to catch the meaning. He walked back to the stairs, the soldier following. The GAang breathed a sigh of relief.

"What was that all about?" Toph asked. Miss Emilee looked at the staircase warily.

"That soldier comes around here every so often to talk to the Fullmetal Alchemist. I wish that he'd just leave." She said.

"What do you mean?" asked Katara.

"I'm not sure what they talk about, but I think that the soldiers are just gathering information so they can take that boy away from us, too."

"What are you talking about? Aren't you Fire Nation?" asked Sokka.

"Yes, but the military just thinks of us as a mining slum that's only worth as much coal as it can dig up. They say that we're serving our country but I think its more like slavery. I lost my husband and many other people to those mines, and those soldiers didn't even lift a finger to even try and help them."

"That's terrible!" said Katara.

"Yes, this entire town was in poverty and ruin. Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, the mine began to collapse. We feared that no one would get out. That's when he came. He stopped the mine from collapsing and got all the men out. Ever since then, he's been doing all he can to help. He's given us hope, and that's why the soldiers want him." They all looked up at the stairs again, thoughtful. Katara noticed the view from the window.

"It's getting dark. We should get back." She said. They all agreed.

Boomshakalaka

They got back to the camp and tucked in for the night. Katara walked over to Aang.

"Aang, you've been really quiet the entire time." She said.

"I told you, Katara, it's nothing."

"I don't believe that. Something's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me."

"Aang, come on. You can tell me."

"I…I don't want to talk about it right now. Just go to sleep."

"Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

**A/N: What's up with Fullmetal and the soldiers? What's Aang all worried about? Does Chinese food smell really good? Why am I asking you this? The answers to all these questions and more in the next few chapters! **


	2. Captured

**A/N: Thank you all of my reviewers/alerters/favoriters! I feel so special!**

**Elmarine: You're not special.**

**Me: Shut up! Yes I am! **

**Elmarine: Keep telling yourself that. **

**Me: Do you want to be in this story or not?**

**Elmarine: O_O I'm sorry! **

**Me: You should be! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue.**

**(BTW: The first chappie was revised, so reread that please. And Chinese food does smell really good.) **

The next day the Gaang was packing up to continue their journey. Aang didn't exactly have his heart in it, though.

"Aang, will you just tell me what's wrong?" asked Katara.

"Yeah. Ever since we saw that Fullmetal guy you and Sokka have switched moods." Toph added. Aang looked down, thinking about it. He knew that he had to see that boy again. He needed to talk to him; to set things straight.

"Actually, guys, I think I left something at the inn." He said.

"Can you live without it?" Asked Sokka, rolling up his sleeping bag.

"Why wouldn't we go back for it?" Katara asked, fists on her hips.

"Come on, Katara, you heard that woman. The place is lousy with soldiers. If we want to keep a low profile then we should pack up and head out now." He said.

"Wasn't that the point of the disguises?" she growled.

"I'm just saying if they find out about Aang, we're toast." He said. Aang knew that it could compromise the mission, but it just wouldn't let him be.

"Sokka, it's really important. Please." He said.

"Well…" he began. Katara whacked him in the back of the head. "Fine." Aang smiled and they all began to walk off. Toph held him back for a second.

"I know you're lying about the losing something thing." She whispered. "What's this really about?"

"Toph, please believe me when I say it's really important." He whispered back. She let go of him.

"Fine. But this had better be good, Twinkletoes!"

Boomshakalaka

As they walked through the town they noticed that something was different. Everybody seemed a bit saddened. Not only that, but most of them looked scared. The group glanced at each other, all curious at what had happened.

Boomshakalaka

When they finally got to the inn, Sokka stepped aside.

"Aang, you're the one who lost something, so you knock." He said. He didn't want to end up flat on his face in front of the inn keeper again.

Aang knocked (more politely than Sokka) and waited. A minute passed and no one answered.

"Well, looks like there's nobody home. Let's go." Sokka said, turning to leave. Aang tried the door.

"It's open." He said. Sokka sighed and turned around. They walked inside.

The place seemed deserted.

"Hello? Is anybody here?" Aang called out.

"There's someone behind that counter over there." Toph said, pointing in that direction. Katara went over and looked behind it.

"Miss Emilee?" she asked. Sure enough, it was Miss Emilee. She looked frightened and shaken up.

"Oh, thank goodness it's just you kids. I thought they'd come back for me." She said. She stood up, but nearly fell over.

"What are you talking about? Who'd come back for you?" asked Sokka as Katara steadied her. She sat down on one of the chairs.

"The soldiers came last night. They took that boy!" she said, nearly in tears. They all gasped.

"No!" Aang said. Miss Emilee nodded.

"Tell us what happened."

Boomshakaflashbacklaka

_A few minutes after the GAang left, the soldier who had come in earilier's reinforcements came in. They went directly up to the Fullmetal Alchemist's room. Everyone in the place looked up tentatively. _

_When they came back down they had the Fullmetal Alchemist in wooden cuffs. The boy was looking down angrily. _

_Everybody stared at them, shocked and afraid. Only Miss Emilee had the courage to say something._

"_You can't." The soldiers and their prisoner looked back at her. _

"_Please. He's done nothing wrong." Her voice was close to a whisper. One of the soldiers came over to her and grabbed her arm._

"_We could have you arrested, too, you know. For harboring a traitor like him." She gasped, too afraid to do anything else._

"_Hey, leave her alone! I'm the one you want. Me! Not her or anyone else. So take me away already, damn it!" said the boy. The soldiers were thrown a little off-balance at the fury in the kid's voice, so they turned to the soldier who had come in first. The boy turned to him as well, throwing him a death glare. _

"_Leave her here to rot with the rest of the rats." He said. The other men bowed and let go of Miss Emilee, who dropped to the floor from fear and relief. _

_The soldier grabbed the Fullmetal Alchemist by the arm and led him out, the two other soldiers following. _

Boomshakaendofflashbacklaka

"That's awful!" said Katara. Miss Emilee was in tears.

"Wait. Did he ever fight back?" asked Aang.

"No. He…he just went with them." Said Miss Emilee.

"That's strange." Said Aang.

Boomshakalaka

After they made sure that Miss Emilee was alright, they made their way back to the camp. Toph punched Aang in the arm as they walked.

"Not everybody can fight back to Fire Nation soldiers." She said.

"Yeah, I mean I know he can do that…magiky thing…but he's still just a kid." Said Sokka.

"He was probably really scared." Added Katara.

"Okay, you guys, I get the point." Said Aang. They walked the rest of the way in silence.

Boomshakalaka

Once they got back, Sokka said "Considering all that's happened, I say we pack up and ship out."

"But we've got to help him!" said Aang.

"Are you crazy, Aang, you know what will happen if the Fire Nation catches you." Said Sokka.

"I agree with Sokka. It's just too risky." Said Katara.

"Besides, we don't even know the guy." Said Toph. Aang groaned in frustration.

"Look, you guys, what this guy is doing for this town is the same kind of thing we did for that little fishing town. If these people lose him now things are gonna go bad." He argued.

"And I stand by what I said over there: they can live until we take out the Firelord." Said Sokka. Katara elbowed him in the ribs.

"What Sokka is trying to say is that this is different." She said.

"How is this different?" Aang yelled, "We even revealed our bending to the people over there!"

"Well, those people were kind of dumb." Said Toph, "And you're talking about breaking into a prison."

"You guys don't understand. This is something I have to do." Said Aang, turning away. Katara placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Is this about what's been bothering you?" she asked. Aang nodded.

"And I could really use your help." He said, "Because, even if you guys don't come, I'm going."

"Is there any way we can convince you otherwise?" asked Sokka. Aang looked at him with determination. Sokka sighed.

"All right then. Since you're so set on doing this, we've got your back. But I still think it's stupid." He said. Aang smiled.

"We're gonna need a plan." Said Toph. They all looked at Sokka.

"Oh, come on!" he said.

**A/N: The plot thickens! Will they rescue Fullmetal? Will Sokka ever not be known as "the Plan Guy"? Is it glaringly obvious in which direction this story is going yet? Will I ever put my OC in this thing?**

**Elmarie: Unlikely.**

**Me: Stay tuned for more questions! I mean answers! **


	3. Fight and Flight

**A/N: Happy update! Okay, the prison in this chappie is modeled after the one Iroh was in in the series. Except it's one floor. Okay! Onward!**

**Disclaimer: Me: Must I?**

**Elmarine: You must.**

**Me: Damn. I don't own it. Whaaa. **

They managed to come up with a plan, which they executed quite well. They had knocked out the guards in front, and Aang and Sokka put on the uniforms. Katara and Toph wore long cloaks so as to not be recognized. Whenever asked, they said they were taking the "prisoners" to a holding cell. No one argued with them.

Eventually, they found his cell.

"Excuse me; I've got some cell-mates for the little rat." Sokka said to the guard in a fake deep voice, motioning to Katara and Toph.

"They seem a bit shady." Said the guard, noticing the cloaks.

"That's why we arrested them, sir." Said Aang in a fake deep voice. The man laughed.

"Very good, boys! Go on in!" he said, and opened the door.

"What a jerk." Toph said under her breath.

When the Fullmetal Alchemist heard the door close behind them, he began to speak.

"It's about time you got here. I was beginning to…" But then he actually saw them. "Who the hell are you?" he asked. In response, the boys took off their stolen helmets and the girls took off their hoods. He spotted Sokka.

"Hey, you're that boomerang guy from yesterday." He said.

"Yeah, that's me!" said Sokka proudly.

"What are you all doing here?"

"Rescuing you, of course." Said Aang.

"Are you crazy?" he asked.

"That's what I said, but he wouldn't listen." Said Sokka.

"He should have. Now get out of here before you get caught." Said the boy.

"Not without you." Said Aang.

"I can take care of myself. Get out." He said. Katara placed a hand on Aang's shoulder.

"Let's just leave. He says he doesn't want help." She said. Aang shrugged her hand off and closed his eyes.

"It's not like you can get out of here on your own." He said to the boy. The boy looked down at his hands. He furrowed his eyebrows and clenched his fists.

"I've got it covered. Just get the hell out! I don't want anyone else involved in this." He said.

"Someone's coming." Said Toph.

The boy hissed "Hide." through his teeth and went to lean against the wall like he'd been there the entire time. Toph earthbended the floor into a hole. They all got in, and she closed it up. Aang bended a little hole in the top. He wanted to listen in.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" the Fullmetal Alchemist asked whoever had walked in.

"Haven't you ever heard of respecting your elders?" said the man who had come in.

"That's the soldier from the inn." Said Toph, recognizing the voice.

Apparently, the boy recognized him as well because he said "You finally made it."

"Finally? I thought I got here in a relatively _short _time." Said the soldier, opening the cell.

"Shut the hell up and uncuff me." Said the boy with a growl. Silence.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" urged the boy.

"I don't know, I kind of like you this way." Said the man. The boy growled again. "Look, Fullmetal, I'm going to have to escort you out as a prisoner. If you don't have the cuffs on, people will get suspicious." More silence.

"I hate it when you're right." Said the boy.

"By the way, the guard told me that four others had come in here a few minutes ago." Said the soldier, "What'd you do?"

"Does it look like I can do anything right now?" said the boy.

"Then where are they?" Asked the soldier. The boy knocked his foot on the floor.

"You all still down there?" he called. Toph bended away the earth covering them.

"Way to blow our cover." Said Sokka, climbing out of the hole.

"Great. So how are we going to get all five and a half of us out of here?" the soldier said. The boy twitched and glared at him.

"I told you we shouldn't have come." Said Sokka.

"How was I supposed to know he had a man inside?" asked Aang.

"We're not going to get anywhere by arguing." Said Katara, "We've got to think of something." Of course, it was Sokka who thought of something first.

"Hey, are you a firebender?" he asked the soldier.

"Sure, if you want to call it that." He said.

"Do you think you could make a small explosion?"

"Easily. Why?"

Sokka grinned.

BoomshakalakaBOOM

The GAang + 2 came rushing out of the cell room, smoke pouring out behind them. Sokka slammed the door shut. They all coughed and tried to catch their breaths.

"What happened?" asked the guard.

"Pipe… leak… then… BOOM!" said Sokka between coughs and pants.

"No way!" Exclaimed the guard.

"Way." Said Aang.

"Great Spirits! We need to get everyone out of here!" shouted the guard, "You all go. I'll alert the rest of the personnel." He ran off.

"That was actually a pretty good plan." Said the soldier.

"Thanks." Said Sokka.

"Come on; let's get the hell out of here." Said the boy.

Boomshakalaka

The group made their way to the door. They had almost reached their goal when they encountered two guards in the hall. These guards had on nothing but their undergarments.

"Hey! Those are the guys that stole our uniforms!" said the first, pointing at Aang and Sokka.

"And beat the shit out of us, too." Said the second, touching his bloody lip. The men threw fire balls at them. Luckily, the soldier they were with put his hand out and the flames died.

"You have a plan B?" he asked Sokka.

"Yeah. Run!" he said. They all began to run the other way, the soldier occasionally throwing fire back at the stripped guards.

"In here!" said Toph, running into a room. They all followed, and she metalbended the door shut. She proceeded to use earthbending to tunnel underneath the wall that separated them from the outside.

"Follow me." She commanded, jumping in. They all followed suit.

As she bended her way forward, she closed up the hole behind her. She didn't want the guards following them.

Boomshakalaka

Toph brought them back to the surface when they got to the camp.

"Finally. I hate being in dark, cramped places." Said Aang.

"You think you can uncuff me now?" the boy asked the soldier. He nodded and did so. The boy rubbed his left wrist.

"What about the village?" he asked no one in particular.

"What do you mean?" asked the soldier.

"You know that the army's going to blame them for my escape."

"They'll be fine. We should just get out of here now." said Sokka.

"No. I'm not leaving. No one else is going to get hurt because of me." The boy said. He started to walk back to the village.

"What do you think you're going to do?" the soldier called after him.

"I'm just gonna wing it. That usually seems to work out." He said, not stopping.

"One of these days, that moron is going to get himself killed." The soldier muttered to himself, and then followed.

"Come on, you guys." Said Aang.

"Not you, too." said Sokka.

"You can't seriously think of going back there." Said Toph.

"We should at least be there to give him some back up." Said Aang.

"Aang…" began Katara, but he cut her off.

"Please, you guys."

"I just don't get why you're going this far to help some guy you've never met." Said Sokka. Aang sighed.

"We have met before." He admitted, "He saved my life."

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" asked Katara. Aang touched the back of his neck.

"It's complicated." He said.

"Fine. But only if you explain when we get back." Said Sokka.

"Of course." Said Aang.

With that, they all ran off to the village.

Boomshakalaka

When they got there, there was a crowd of people looking at the soldiers who had completely surrounded the Fullmetal Alchemist. The commanding officer was speaking to him.

"You come back here just after you escape? I can't tell if you're extremely bold or extremely stupid. Oh, well. It doesn't matter. You'll be dead in a few seconds. Men!" The soldiers got into stance. So did the boy, his hands hovering close together. "Fire!"

At this command, the soldiers should have shot flaming balls of death at the boy, but instead they began gasping for air. The boy looked around, and he spotted a soldier--the same one who had helped him out of the prison earlier--with a white-gloved hand in the air, the circle on the back glowing. He turned back to the commanding officer and smirked.

"What's going on?" asked Sokka. Aang pointed at the soldier.

"He's taking all of the oxygen out of the air around the firebenders." He said.

"How do you know that?" asked Katara.

"I told you, I'll explain everything later." Said Aang.

Meanwhile, the boy had clapped. His one hand hovered over the ground and up came a spear. Now, the commanding officer watching this was really scared. All of his soldiers had been brought down by some unseen force and this kid had summoned a metal spear from barren earth. He had been caught off-guard and therefore wasn't prepared when the boy came running at him, brandishing the spear.

Just before he impaled the man, he stopped short. The man was frightened and confused, so he did something he'd never done; he put his hands up and surrendered. Immediately, his men stopped choking and gulped air greedily.

"You listen to me and you listen good: if I ever see or hear of any soldiers in this town again, I will not hesitate the next time we meet. Got it?" said the boy in a low, dangerous tone. The man nodded. The boy lowered the spear and pointed to the gate.

"Now you and your men better get the hell out before I change my mind about sparing you."

The men, who had heard the threat and seen what happened, which was most of them, practically ran for the gate. The rest of the soldiers heard their commanding officer shouting "Troops retreat!" and running off himself. They followed immediately.

As soon as the last one was gone, a cheer rang throughout the village. The boy put his hands up, motioning for everyone to settle down.

"Thank you. All of you. You guys are great. But I have to tell you that I'm leaving now." He said. There were many sounds of protest from the crowd.

"I know, I know." He said over the din, "But I have to leave. You can't depend on me forever. You have to learn how to stand on your own." At this, a little girl came up to him and tugged on his pant leg.

"How are we gonna do that Mr. Fullmetal Alchemist, sir?" she asked. He smiled and kneeled down to her.

"Don't worry. I know that you can figure it out." He patted her on the head and stood up.

"I know that you can all figure it out." He said to the crowd. Then, putting his hands in his pockets, he walked out the gate; the entire village cheering and clapping for him as he left.

**A/N: How does Aang know all of this?**

**Elmarine: Hmmmmm...**

**Me: Who is this random soldier that helped?**

**Elmarine: Oh, I wonder.**

**Me: Will more things go boom? **

**Elmarnie: No duh!**

**Me: Will I stop asking suspensful questions? **

**Elmarnie: Not a chance! **

**Me: Stay tuned. And guess what reference I made. Winner gets…**


	4. What's Going On?

**A/N: I just read the last chapter of FMA. OMFG! There is no end to the awesomeness! And now… I'm disregarding it in my fanfic! In fact, I've disregarded a couple of chapters before that, as well. Wow. I… I feel so powerful. Like I could do anything! Hey, can I have…**

**Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante DiMartino: No.**

**Me: Then I guess I'll have to take it by force via my mad ninja skillz!**

**Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante DiMartino: *beat the crap out of my with their mad ninja skillz***

**Hiromu Arakawa: *walks by***

**Me: Hey, can I have…**

**Hiromu Arakawa: No.**

**Me: What do you need it for? You're a cow!**

**Hiromu Arakawa: *beats the crap of me until I resemble nothing even close to a human* That's Mrs. Cow to you, beeotch! **

**Me: I guess I'm not as powerful as I thought. Avatar belongs to Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante DiMartino**

**Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante DiMartino: *BA secret handshake***

**Me: and FMA belongs to Hiromu Arakawa-sensei.**

**Hiromu Arakawa: (**_**threateningly**_**) Moo.**

**Me: Enjoy.**

The rest of the group managed to catch up with the boy as he was nearing the camp.

"That was awesome!" said Sokka.

"Yeah, you did a great job getting rid of the army like that." Said Katara.

"Way to go!" said Toph, punching him in the arm.

"I must admit, Fullmetal, that was nicely executed. Although, if I hadn't been there, those soldiers would have torched your ass." Said the soldier. He took his helmet off. Underneath was a man with short, black hair and dark eyes. He took a deep breath.

"I was suffocating in that thing." He turned to the boy, "Okay, Fullmetal, back to our real business. What did you find?" he asked.

"What do you mean 'real business'?" asked Sokka, but he was ignored.

"Cut the crap, Mustang, you and I both know there's only one way." Said the boy.

"You can't assume that's the only…"

"I don't see you coming up with another explanation."

"I'm not going to let you do that, Ed." They had reached the camp. Ed turned to Mustang and glared.

"You want to try and stop me? Go ahead! It won't change the fact that I'm opening The Gate!" Mustang had seen that look before. Nothing was going to stop Ed now.

Ed walked a little way and clapped his hands. He put them on the ground and made an array.

"You've got to stop him!" Aang said to Mustang.

"I can't. Not without killing him." Mustang said, ashamed. Aang looked at Ed. He had to stop him.

"Mustang, you're useless." He said, and just before Ed did the transmutaion, Aang tackled him.

"You idiot!" Aang shouted.

"What the fuck is your problem?" asked Ed.

"You know that opening The Gate is suicide!" Aang yelled.

"Maybe I don't care!" said Ed. Aang punched him.

"You idiot!" he shouted again. Ed kicked him off, and sprang to his feet. He glared down at Aang as Aang glared up at him.

"We're all we've got. Remember?" said Aang. Ed stood, shocked, for a half of a second, as if those words were another punch altogether. He clenched his fists, an angry fire in his eyes.

"How dare you? HOW DARE YOU DROP THAT LINE ON ME?" He attacked Aang, and they fought. Hard.

The rest of the GAang stood off to the side. They had never seen Aang attack someone like that, much less fight without bending. They were surprised and confused. Mustang, on the other hand, noticed something that he found very interesting.

The boys kept fighting until Aang managed to pin Ed down. Aang looked into his eyes. He saw anger, hate, and fury. At that moment, he realized that Ed didn't recognize him. He felt tears begin to form. He backed off Ed and ran away.

"Aang!" Katara called after him, but he bended a wall of earth to separate them.

"I think he wants to be alone, Katara." Said Toph.

"Who does that bastard think he is?" said Ed, getting up.

"Who do you think _you _are? Making him run off, crying like that!" Katara retorted.

"Hey, he attacked me!"

"Yes, and you two fought one hell of a fight." Said Mustang, "In fact, I don't think I've ever seen anyone fight you like that. Oh, wait, yes I do."

"What are you saying?" asked Ed.

"I'm saying that he's not as big as he used to be, but he's still got the same fighting style." Mustang said.

"Don't even joke about that. He's gone. You know. You were there. You saw what I did."

"I saw that there was nothing left. I fail to understand how that's an equivalent exchange." Ed looked at the ground, thinking.

"You should go find him." Said Mustang.

"Yeah, okay." Ed whispered.

"You don't know which way he went. How are you gonna find him?" asked Sokka.

"If he's who Mustang thinks he is, it shouldn't be too hard." Said Ed. He clapped his hands and made a hole in the wall.

"I'm coming, too." Said Katara.

"No," said Ed, not turning around, "I have to do this alone." He walked away.

"Okay, Fireperson, you're gonna have to explain what's going on." Said Sokka.

"If you want an explanation, you're going to have to wait for the boys to come back. I don't know the whole story." He said, rubbing the back of his head.

"By the way, my name and rank is Fuhrer Roy Mustang."

Boomshakalaka

Aang was sitting on a riverbank, hugging his knees. He saw Ed's shadow approaching. He turned around and got into a fighting stance. Ed didn't even move. He just kept his hand in his pockets and said "Come on. Let's go."

He turned and walked away. Aang relaxed and trotted after him.

Boomshakalaka

When they got back to the camp, they found the GAang sitting in a circle and talking while Roy leaned against a tree, an awkward distance between the two. They array Ed had made was gone. Katara looked up.

"Aang! You're back!" She ran up and hugged him.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"I'm fine." He answered, smiling.

"Okay, explanation time, Twinkletoes." Said Toph.

"Yeah. We want to know what's been going on." Said Sokka.

"There's just one thing I need to know, first." Said Ed.

"What's that?" asked Aang.

"I need to make sure you're really Al." said Ed.

Aang's face took on a serious look. He turned around and pulled down the collar of his shirt, revealing the back of his neck and the oddly-shaped scar that was there. When Ed saw it, his eyes widened.

"The blood seal." He said.

"Yup." Said Aang, letting his collar return to its normal place.

"You're really him, aren't you?" said Ed. Aang nodded.

"Do you have any idea what you've put me through?" Ed asked, raising his voice.

"Huh?" Aang was a little taken aback at this.

"I've been sitting in Amestris this entire time, having no idea that you were here! I mean, you completely disappear and don't even call or give us some sign that you're still alive? We thought you were gone for good! I thought…" He lowered his voice, "I thought…" He hung his head, his voice practically a whisper, "Al, I thought I'd killed you."

Then, they saw a sight rarer than a One-Eyed-One-Horned-Flying-Purple-People-Eater; they saw Ed begin to cry.

"I'm so sorry, Al."

"Ed, are you crying?" asked Aang. Ed looked up. He was smiling, tears still in his eyes.

"I guess I am." He said, "I'm just so happy to see you alive and in a normal body." Aang was shocked. Ed never cried and now he was crying tears of joy. He had really missed Aang and Aang had really missed him.

"Brother." Said Aang, and they both ran up and hugged; each crying on the other's shoulder.

Eventually, Ed pushed Aang off and held him at arm's length. They smiled at one another.

"I can't believe how different you look." Said Ed, "Especially the hair. What's up with that?" Aang shrugged.

"I shaved if off blond and it came back black. Go figure." He explained.

"You shaved it off?" asked Ed. Sokka walked up and put a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Not that this isn't a touching moment, but," He pushed Ed out of the way, grabbed Aang by both arms, and shook him, shouting, "YOU REALLY NEED TO TELL US WHAT'S GOING ON!"

"Sokka, calm down!" said Aang, throwing his hands up, "I'll explain everything to everyone. But first, I think we should get moving."

"That's the best idea you've had all day." Said Sokka.

Boomshakalaka

While the rest of the GAang went to pack up, Aang went over to Roy.

"It's nice to see you again, Colonel Mustang." He said, saluting.

"Nice to see you, too, Alphonse." Said Roy, saluting back, "But I'm not a colonel anymore. I'm the Fuhrer." Aang's jaw dropped.

"Really? Wow! Congratulations, sir!" he shook Roy's hand.

"Come on, Al, it's not that big a deal. All it's done is made him more of an egotistical jerk than he already was." Said Ed.

"You shouldn't be talking to the Fuhrer like that, Fullmetal. I could have you arrested for being under the height requirement." said Roy, smirking. Ed twitched.

"Shove it up your ass, Mustang." He said, walking away. Both Roy and Aang laughed.

"Good, old Ed." Said Aang, "I can't believe I'm finally seeing him again." Aang closed his eyes. Roy, however, was looking at something else.

"What is that?" he asked. Aang turned to see what he was looking at.

"Oh, that's just Appa." He said. Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, Al. Come here." Called Ed.

"Yeah, Brother?" said Aang, walking over.

"Did you make that chimera?" he asked, pointing at Appa. Aang laughed a little.

"Appa's not a chimera, Ed. He's a flying bison."

"Right. Because a flying bison is the most normal animal in the world." Ed crossed his arms.

Aang sighed, still smiling, and explained: "When I first saw the animals here, I thought they were chimeras, too. It turns out that the animals here are just weird." Ed didn't look convinced. "Besides, alchemy doesn't exist here."

Ed sighed, closing here eyes. They soon reopened in surprise when he felt Appa sniffing him. The surprise turned to disgust when the 10-ton fluffy monster licked him. Everybody laughed.

"Looks like he likes you." Said Katara. Ed grumbled.

"So what's a chimera?" asked Sokka.

"We'll get to that." Said Aang, "Let's just get out of here." The GAang hopped on Appa, but Ed and Roy stayed on the ground.

"Come on, you guys, he's perfectly safe." Said Aang from his usual driver's seat position.

"Terrifying. But safe." Added Toph. Katara nudged her.

"Are you sure about this, Al?" asked Ed.

"One hundred percent." Said Aang.

"Looks like we either get on or get left behind." Said Roy. He climbed on. Ed exhaled and followed suit.

"Okay! First-time flyers, hang on tight!" said Aang. Ed and Roy looked at one another.

"Appa, yip yip!" said Aang, fwipping the reigns.

Appa took off. Once they were high enough, Sokka shouted "Commence cloud-cover!"

Aang bended the clouds around them. He had gotten so good at it that he hardly had to think about it anymore. He looked back and saw Ed and Roy's faces.

"It can actually fly." Said Roy, looked around in bewilderment.

"Jeez, Al, you weren't kidding!" said Ed, smiling hugely. He was pretty amazed.

"Why do you keep calling him Al?" Toph asked Ed.

"That's his name, of course. Why do you guys keep calling him Aang?" They all turned to Aang, eagerly awaiting the explanation he'd promised. Aang sighed.

"I guess I'll start from the beginning: alchemy."

**A/N: Elmarine: The chappie is over. What are you still doing on the ground?**

**Me: Picking up the shreds of my dignity.**

**Elmarine: What's dignity?**

**Me: *faints from blood-loss and Elmarine's ridiculousness* **

**Elmarine: Guess I have to do the ending questions. How will the GAang take the explanation? Can Roy and Ed ever get along? Will I get the author to the hospital on time? Has this meeting with Arakawa-sensei left her with a crippling fear of cows?**

**Me: Where's the cow? *jumps behind Elmarine* PROTECT ME!**

**Elmarine: For these answers and more, watch for the next chappie!**

_**(No offence to any of the authors/creators mentioned. This was done out of respect for them. SO RESPECT THEM DAMNIT!) **_


	5. Flashback Episode Part 1: Al

**A/N: *Is in full body armor***

**I just want to start out by saying that Hiromu Arakawa is an awesome person. She is truly amazing and talented and I'm not just saying that because she's mooing menacingly in that dark corner over there.**

**Hiromu Arakawa: Get on with it.**

**Me: Yes, my bovine sensei! I want to let you know that Ed is about 17 in this and slightly taller than Aang/Al. It's much more fun when he's a shorty.**

**Ed: ****WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A PIPSQUEAK MIDGET WHO CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE BEACH 'CUZ HE'S SO SMALL HE'LL SINK INTO THE SAND AND WHEN THE TIDE COMES IN HE DOESN'T NEED TO WORRY 'CUZ HE CAN BREATHE OXYGEN OUT OF A MOLECULE OF WATER!**

**Me, Hiromu Arakawa, and Elmarine: … **

**Ed: Oh, just do the damn disclaimer, already!**

**Hiromu Arakawa: She owns NOTHING! Not even her soul! It all belongs to me! Except for the Avatar stuff. That belongs to those guys. **

**Bryan Konietzko and Michael Dante DiMartino: *wave***

**Me: On with the fic!**

"So you were a suit of armor for five years?" asked Katara. Aang nodded.

He and Ed had just finished telling them as much as they could about alchemy and all that had happened to them up until just after Ed got his state license. Sokka was intently investigating Ed's metallic right arm. Annoyed, Ed pulled it away.

"Quit it! Where do you think you're from, Rush Valley? It's not that interesting." He said.

"Yes it is!" said Sokka, "That technology is more advanced than anything I've ever seen. I didn't even know it wasn't you real arm until you told us!"

"I did." Said Toph.

"You don't count." Said Sokka.

"What's Rush Valley?" asked Katara.

"Only the worldwide mecca of automail." Said Ed with faux enthusiasm. Aang laughed.

"Nice Winry impression." He said.

"I do a good Mustang, too." Said Ed. He deepened his voice, "Struck out on the Philosopher's Stone again, huh? How am I supposed to keep funding this goose chase? Money doesn't grow on trees, there, chief. Ed? Where'd you run off to? Oh, wait, there you are! I couldn't see you there beyond my paperwork, seeing as how you're so short and all! HA HA HA HA!" He stopped when he noticed a gloved hand in a snapping position right next to his head.

"I'm sorry, Fullmetal, what was that you were saying?" Roy asked with a smirk.

"Jeez, Mustang, grow a sense of humor." Said Ed, leading back against Appa's saddle. Roy rolled his eyes and put his hand down.

"So, Alphonse, I think you were about to tell us how you came to be here." He said.

CUE FLASHBACK EPISODE THEME MUSIC!

_This is a flashback episode!  
__Flashback episode!  
__Flashy flashy flashy back!  
__Flashy flashy flashy back!  
__Flashy flashy flashy back!  
__EEEEEEEEEEEP *breath*  
__IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *breath*  
__SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE *much panting*_

It had been half a year since the alchemists had defeated the homunculi, and things were finally starting to return to normal in Central.

Roy had put all of the effort he could into the policies on Ishbal, and he had managed to send Scar there to help his people rebuild.

Ling had become emperor of Xing (surprise, surprise) with Lan Fan still by his side. May, however, stayed in Amestris at the request of Ed and Al.

They wanted her to teach them some rentanjutsu… or alkahestry… or whatever the fuck you want to call it. They had a theory that if they combined that with alchemy, they might be able to get their bodies back. They worked diligently until they had it perfect.

On they day they did the transmutation, a few people had come for moral support: Mustang, Hawkeye, May, Winry, Izumi, and Sig. Ed and Al had just finished drawing the circle and Al was standing in the middle.

"You ready, Al?" asked Ed.

"Definitely, Brother." Said Al, both thumbs up.

"Alright! Here goes!" Ed clapped his hands and placed them on the array. It and Al began to glow with alchemic light. Ed smiled. Everything was going perfectly.

Suddenly, Ed's smile faded when something went wrong. The light had taken on a darker hue and Al's armor war disappearing. That could only mean one thing: rebound.

Ed tried to stop the transmutation, but couldn't. It was already too late.

"Brother!" Al screamed, terrified.

"Al!" Ed shouted back. This was too much. It seemed to be exactly like the day all those years ago when they had tried to transmute their mother. Al just kept disappearing, bit by bit, and all anyone could do—all Ed could do—was watch.

Soon, all that was left was the blood seal and Al's screaming, but that disappeared as well.

Boomshakalaka

When Al woke up, he felt extremely weak. Wait a minute: he _felt_. He managed to hold his hands in front of his face. They were human hands. His first words in his now-returned-to-human body were "Brother, it worked." before he slipped back into unconsciousness.

Boomshakalaka

He woke up again in a room he'd never seen before. He tried to sit up to see where he was, but his head screamed in protest. He moaned.

"Well, now. We were wondering when you'd wake up." Said a voice.

"Who's there?" Al asked weakly, trying to sit up again. That was a mistake. He moaned as another headache came over him.

"Easy, little one, you're still very weak." The man the voice belonged to placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Little one? No one's called me that in years." Said Al with a smile. Again, he lost consciousness.

Boomshakalaka

The next time he woke up, he was feeling much better. He even managed to sit up without getting dizzy.

"You seem to be feeling better today." Said the man he'd talked to before. Al nodded. This was the first time he'd gotten a good look at the man. He was fairly old and wearing long robes and a funny mustache. The strangest thing about him, however, was the large arrow tattoo on his bald head. This set the questions loose.

"Who are you? Where am I? How'd I get here? What's…"

"One at a time, little one." Said the man with a laugh, "How about you take a deep breath, and we take turns asking questions." Al did so, and nodded.

"You first." The man said, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

"Kay. Who are you?"

"My name is Gyatso. I am an airbender monk."

"An air-what now?"

"Now, now. It's my turn."

"Oh, yeah." Al smiled sheepishly.

"What is your name?"

"I'm Alphonse Elric. Where am I?"

"In the Southern Air Temple."

"I've never heard of that."

"That's peculiar. How did you get here?"

"Well, I used to be a soul in a suit of armor but then my brother and I found a way to use alchemy to get my body back so we did it and I'm here and I have my body back but I'm still very confused." Gyatso looked quite confused as well.

"So, what's airbending?" Al asked.

"An ancient art unique to my culture. Air benders, like me, are able to manipulate, or bend, the air to their will."

"Sounds something like alchemy."

"What's alchemy?"

"Basically, it's the analysis, deconstruction, and reconstruction of matter. It's governed by many laws, but one of the most important is equivalent exchange: in order to gain anything, something of equal value must be given up."

"It sounded as if you were reading that out of a book."

"I get that a lot. I'm surprised you've never heard of it before. It's pretty well-known."

"I'm surprised that you have never heard of airbending. Around here, that's what's common."

"Where exactly is here? I mean, in relation to Amestris. Gyatso, where are you going?"

"Sit tight, little one. I'll be right back."

Boomshakalaka

He came back with a map of the world.

"Could you point out Amestris on here?" he asked. Al looked at the map.

"Gyatso, I don't understand. I don't see Amestris anywhere on here. In fact, I've never seen a map of the world like this." He said. Gyatso looked thoughtful.

"I don't believe that you are in the same world that you were." He said.

"What are you saying?"

"You said earlier that you were once a soul that needed to find its body. Perhaps your soul traveled quite some distance to regain your body, and once the two were together, they were unable to make the return trip." (Peter Griffin: Ha! He said the title!)

Al thought about it for a moment. Everything Gyatso had said made sense. That would mean that he was in a completely different universe where alchemy probably didn't even exist. That would also mean…

"My brother! I have to get back and tell him it worked!" said Al, getting up. As soon as his feet hit the floor, he fell over.

"Take it easy." Said Gyatso, helping him up, "As I understand, your body and soul have just been reconnected. How long has it been since you stood on your own two feet?"

"Four years." Al responded.

"Then I'd say you were a little out of practice. You need to regain you strength before you can go anywhere." Al took another deep breath. His brother would have to do without him as he recuperated for a few days. His stomach growled.

"Can I have something to eat?" he asked.

"Of course."

Boomshakalaka

In a few days, Al was able to stand up and walk around. Gyatso brought him out to a balcony so that he could get some fresh air.

From there, Al was able to see the Air Temple in all of its splendor. He was amazed and speechless. To top it all off, there was a wonderful breeze blowing against the face that hadn't felt one in years. He breathed a sigh of pure bliss.

"Enjoying the view?" asked Gyatso.

"It's amazing. I can't believe you live here." Al said. When he turned around, all of his hair blew into his face. He spit it out of his mouth and held it behind his head.

"How does Ed handle having all this hair?"

Gyatso chuckled and said "Allow me." He tied Al's hair back for him.

"Thanks." Said Al. They stood in silence for a while.

"Do you think you could show me some of that airbending you were talking about?" Al asked, breaking the silence. Instead of answering, Gyatso got into a stance and blew a blast of wind into Al's face. Al blinked a few times and smiled.

"That was awesome! You didn't even need a circle or to clap your hands or anything!" he exclaimed.

"Why, thank you." Said Gyatso, taking an exaggerated bow, "Now how about we see some of the alchemy you were speaking of earlier."

Al smiled. He clapped his hands together and placed them on the balcony. Nothing happened. He repeated the action. Still nothing.

"That's strange. I remember The Gate…" He tried one more time. Nothing.

"Looks like I'll have to try another way." He tuned to Gyatso, "Is there any chalk here?" Al asked him.

"Follow me." said Gyatso.

Boomshakalaka 

Al was staring dejectedly at the circle he'd drawn on the ground.

"I don't understand. Why won't it work?" he questioned.

"Maybe alchemy doesn't work in this world." Gyatso suggested. Al sighed. That could be true. And if that were true, then he had no idea how he was going to find a way to get home. He began to cry.

"What's wrong?" asked Gyatso, kneeling down next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know how I can get home without alchemy. I might never see my brother or any of my friends ever again." Al sobbed. Gyatso pulled him into a hug.

Boomshakalaka

Al stood on the balcony, looking downtrodden. Gyatso noticed this as he set out a few cakes to cool. He wanted to cheer the boy up, but wasn't sure how. He saw the council of elders sitting out in the open, meditating. An idea occurred to him.

"Alphonse, I'd like to show you something." He said. Al turned around.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Watch this." Said Gyatso. He created a ball of wind and sent the cakes flying. Al watched them arc across the sky until they finally landed on the elder monks' heads. And, as if that weren't funny enough, the lemurs attacked.

Al and Gyatso burst out into laughter. When they were able to control themselves, Al asked "How exactly do you do that?"

"You aim." Gyatso said. Al laughed.

"No, I mean bending. Like, if you had to explain how to do it to a student, how would you?" he said.

Gyatso thought about it for a moment.

"First, you'd need to relax your breathing and feel the air around you. Feel how it moves, how it flows. Then, feel your own energy moving and flowing within you. Take a deep breath, but instead of breathing out, release you energy." he said.

Al stood up straight and took a deep breath. He was surprised to find how easy it was for him to feel the air and his energy. He focused on letting go of the energy he felt. He held out his hands, and a burst of wind came from them. Al smiled excitedly. Gyatso was shocked.

"How did you do that?" he asked.

"I just followed the steps you gave me." said Al, "Is something wrong?"

"No. It's just strange."

"What's strange?"

"A bender has to be born with the ability to bend and each nation is restricted to a certain type of bending. As you're not from this world and have never heard of bending before, you can see why I'm surprised." Said Gyatso. Al looked at his hands.

"But it felt so natural to me." he said. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think. He felt something there.

"Gyatso, is there something on the back of my neck?" he asked. Gyatso looked.

"Yes. A strange scar." He said.

"What does it look like?"

"May I see that chalk you had earlier?" Al gave it to him, and he drew the shape of the scar out. Al looked at it.

"That's the blood seal my brother used to bind my soul to the armor." He said, "It must've been imprinted into my skin when my soul and body reconnected." Al rubbed the back of his neck again.

"I should probably be protecting that better." He mused.

"Alphonse, I don't mean to break into your thoughts, but I think we should go to the council about your airbending. If you will allow me, I will tell them all that you have told me and an explanation will be found." Said Gyatso. Al thought about it.

"Do you trust them?" he asked.

"With all of my being."

"All right, then. I want answers, too. When are we going?"

"Tomorrow. It's getting late and we have a long day ahead of us."

Boomshakalaka

Al was sitting in the hallway while Gyatso explained his situation to the council. He had his hair tied back and was wearing airbender clothes. He needed to look presentable for the elder monks. Gyatso came in.

"They're ready for you." He said. Al took a deep breath, and walked in.

The monks were sitting in a line in front. Al bowed like Gyatso had told him to.

"So you seek answers, Alphonse?" asked the head monk.

"Yes, sir. I've been a little confused ever since I got here and I'd like to clear that up." Said Al.

"We have decided to give you a test of sorts." Said the monk on his left. Al got a little worried. No one had ever said anything about a test. The head monk smiled.

"Not to worry. It is not a hard test." He said. Al laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck (something he been doing a lot more often).

"Follow me." The monk got up and walked towards the exit, Al following.

Boomshakalaka

The room was full of toys. Al looked around, wide eyed.

"Alphonse, I want you to pick out four of these." Said the monk.

"Really?"

The monk nodded.

"Awesome!" Al almost dove into the pile of toys when he realized his maturity meter was low.

"I mean," he quickly stood up straight and bowed, "thank you." The monk laughed and spread his arm to the toys.

"Dive away, my boy." He said. Al smiled widely, and dive he did. It wasn't long before he found the four that seemed most fun to him.

"How very interesting." Said the monk when he saw Al's choices.

"What's interesting?" asked Al.

"All in good time, young one." Said the monk. He put an arm around Al's shoulders and steered him out of the room.

"By the way, how old are you?" asked the monk.

"I know my soul is 14. Do I look 14?"

"No. You look younger."

"Than my body probably stayed ten. That was how old I was when I lost it. So I guess I'm ten."

"Very good. Now run along home, young one. You begin your training tomorrow."

"My training?"

"You are to become an airbender."

"Cool." Al bowed and began to walk away. He thought of something and turned back.

"Is there any other traditional stuff I'm gonna have to do?"

"Only if you choose." Al thought about it for a moment.

"I might as well, seeing as I'm going to be here for a while."

"You'll have to shave your head, and the council will give you a traditional air nomad name."

"Okay. Thank you. Goodbye." Al bowed again and went to his room.

Boomshakalaka

Al was given the airbender name Aang, and for the next two years he trained with Gyatso. He learned incredibly quickly and was soon a master. At 12 years old, he was the youngest one in history. He was just as much an airbending prodigy as his brother was an alchemy prodigy.

However, training wasn't the only thing he did. He wanted to find out all he could about the world he was in and if there was some way home. Being an air nomad was the best way to do that.

He went all over the world in his search, and gained quite a lot of friends along the way. The world he was in was feeling more and more like home.

That scared him. He needed to get back to his brother, but he couldn't help becoming attached to this world.

But the worst scare came when the monks told him that he was the avatar. They said that the old avatar had died just as Al was regaining his body, and the avatar spirit had taken up residence in him. This meant that it didn't even matter if he found a way back; he couldn't go.

"We need you, Aang." Gyatso had said. Al wanted to say that he didn't care. He wanted to say that he was going home, no matter what.

Then he remembered a phrase his sensei had pounded into him and Ed had used many times: "Alchemists be thou for the people." Al was still an alchemist at heart, and he could never turn his back on people who needed him. He would have to accept the fact that he would never see his world again. He shouldered the responsibility, but he was barely holding it up.

Just when he thought things couldn't get worse, they added the metaphorical straw that broke his back. They tried to send him away. He couldn't handle that. He couldn't handle being taken away from the one constant he had in this world. He wanted to run away. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see Ed and Winry and everyone else.

So he did. He ran away in the middle of a storm and woke up 100 years later in the arms of a curious water tribe girl.

**A/N: Seriously, Hiromu Arakawa rocks. She should really write another manga. She is truly a talented woman and I'm not just saying that because she's mooing menacingly in that dark corner over there. **

**Hiromu Arakawa: We discussed this!**

**Me: I apologize, my bovine sensei! Can you ever forgive me, my bovine sensei?**

**Hiromu Arakawa: I'll think about it.**

**Me: Well, while she's doing that: Will Ed feel responsible for all that's happened to his brother? Will Aang get more pity love from his friends and fans? Will Ed offer up his explanation in part 2 of this chappie? Am I staying up way too late to write this chappie?**

**Elmarine: It's 2 AM. Go to sleep already!**

**Me: NEVER! REBELLION! REBELLION!**

**Elmarine: And they say I'm the crazy one. Remember: R&R!**

**Me: Reconnaissance and Rockets?**

**Elmarine: Don't listen to her. She's way too tired.**

**Me: Am not!**

**Elmarine: Are too!**

**Me: My story! I get the last word! So ha!**

_**(No offence to any of the authors/creators mentioned. This was done out of respect for them. SO RESPECT THEM DAMNIT!)**_


	6. Flashback Episode Part 2: Ed

**A/N: Prepare for: An angsty!Ed chappie! Yayz! This is the last part of the flashback episodes. Thank you to all of my readers and reviewers. Especially the cookie god. You know who you are. **

"Oh, wait. You guys probably don't know what the avatar is." Said Aang.

"Actually, I heard about you from some of the other soldiers." Said Roy, "They were saying that you were dead."

"It has been 100 years." Said Ed. He caught himself, "Wait. How could it have been 100 years? It's only been two since you disappeared in Amestris."

"Really?" asked Aang.

"Yeah. What do you make of that?" said Ed. Aang thought about it.

"Time warp?" he suggested.

"That's kind of a lame explanation, but I guess it's the only thing we've got to go on." Said Ed.

Wait a minute! Lame explanation? Well, I've got new for you, Edward Elric; you're lame! And another thing…

(RandomArmyOnHill: GET ON WITH IT!)

Okay! Where was I? Let's see: Ed saying Roy doesn't tell him anything; punching and snapping; explanation of avatar; explanation of Azula and her lightning; tiny mini-skirts; Hawkeye making a sponge of Roy joke; Ah! Here we go! What happened with Ed after Al disappeared. On with the angst!

CUE THE FLASHBACK EPISODE THEME MU... *gets whacked in head with brick* (Randomdude: Nobody likes that song!)

"Al?" Ed called. He ran to the center of the circle and desperately searched around for something. Anything. But there was nothing. Al was gone.

Ed nearly began to cry, but then his face grew determined. He clapped his hands. Only Izumi saw what he was about to do.

"NO!" she shouted. She ran up and grabbed him, holding him back and keeping him from doing anything.

"No! Let me go! I have to bring him back!" Ed yelled, struggling against her.

"You can't!"

"Yes I can! I have to try!"

"Edward!" she turned him around and forced him to look at her, "He's gone."

Ed stopped struggling, tears pouring down his cheeks. He collapsed onto his hands and knees, bawling. Izumi knelt down as well, and held him—something she had only done once before.

Ed felt like he was going crazy. This couldn't be happening! He couldn't have! He couldn't have…

He was so lost and angry and guilty. He couldn't handle it all. He shut out everything else and drowned in his emotions. He didn't feel Sig pick him up and carry him out like a young child. He didn't hear Roy tell Winry to take him to Resembool and keep him there for a while. He didn't notice them getting on the train and Winry bringing him to the house.

Everyone was getting seriously concerned until one day Ed woke up and wondered where the hell he was. He looked around and recognized the room. He was in the Rockbell home. He was wondering how he'd got there when Winry walked into the room.

She saw him awake and walked up to him. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she said "Ed? Can you hear me?"

"Yeah." Said Ed, confused as to why she was saying this. He looked around the room.

"Where's Al?" he asked. Winry looked down.

"Winry, where's Al?" he asked again, a little more urgency in his voice. She looked up, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Ed, Al's gone." She said.

All the events of that day came rushing back to him. His sorrow and guilt began to drag him back down to the icy depths.

Before he could drown completely, Winry pulled him back to the surface with a hug. She wasn't going to let him go. Knowing that was like a breath of fresh air, and with this oxygen finally getting to his brain, he let himself cry. He let himself be there, in her arms. He let himself be pulled to shore.

Boomshakalaka

Ed and Winry sat in the kitchen, eating breakfast.

"So, how long was I… out of it?" he asked.

"About a month." She replied. Ed was shocked.

"But… it felt like less than a day."

"Ed you were pretty far gone. You didn't talk to anyone and you hardly ate or slept. You just sat there with this blank stare. We were worried you wouldn't come back to us."

"If you hadn't come in when you did, I wouldn't have."

Winry blushed, but Ed didn't notice. They continued to eat in silence.

Boomshakalaka

"Are you sure I can't convince you to stay?" asked Pinako.

"I'm sure. I can't keep sitting around here, doing nothing. I'm starting to get fidgety. I have to _do_ something. I hope you understand." Said Ed. She did. He needed something to keep his mind off of Al.

"Alright, but don't be gone for too long." She said. Ed smiled a little.

"See ya, Granny." He said, and walked away.

Winry woke up a few minutes later.

"Where's Ed?" she asked groggily, rubbing her eyes.

"He just left. Didn't want to wake you." Said Pinako. That fact woke Winry up faster than a black cup of coffee.

"What!" she asked. She didn't even wait for an answer before quickly getting dressed and running off down the road.

Pinako raised an eyebrow and took a puff of her pipe, wondering what that was all about.

Boomshakalaka

Winry soon caught up to Ed.

"Ed! Wait!" she called. He turned.

"Winry? What are you…" But her lips were on his before he could finish his sentence. When they broke apart, she gave him a tight hug.

"Please be safe." She whispered in his ear. She turned around, and walked back home.

For the next half hour, Ed just stood there looking stupid. Finally, he blinked, shook his head, turned around, tripped over himself once, and was on his way.

Boomshakalaka

For the next two years, Ed managed to put a lid on his emotions by burying himself in his work. He closed himself off from the rest of the world, talking only when it was absolutely necessary. He didn't even respond to Mustang's short taunts for a while.

Sleep was out of the question. It only brought nightmares of Al disappearing over and over again. This left him overly exhausted, and when that happened sleep managed to creep in for a short while. These little naps nearly always ended in him waking up abruptly and calling out his little brother's name, just as he had in the days after the first transmutation had gone wrong. Of course, Al never answered, which only led Ed to an even darker place than he'd been each time.

However, he swallowed these emotions, determined that no one see him so vulnerable, and marched through his daily routine. This didn't stop people from worrying. In fact, it made them worry more. Bottling up his emotions like that couldn't be good for him, they thought. They all kept trying to get Ed to open up but he would have none of it. That is, until it became too much for him to bear.

Boomshakalaka

"You wanted to see me, Fuhrer?" asked Ed, walking into Roy's office.

"Sit down, Fullmetal." Ed did so.

"This had better be quick. I'm very busy."

"Yeah, yeah." Roy said dismissively, and began to go through a list of the work he needed Ed to do. He stopped when he heard Ed yawn.

"You okay, Fullmetal?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Will everyone quit worrying about me?"

"No."

"Why the hell no…"

"Because we know you're not fine. Those bags under your eyes prove it."

"I've been working late. So what?"

"And you haven't used alchemy once since you got here." Ed's eyes widened. How could Mustang possibly know that? He turned to look at Roy, who gave Ed a questioning glance. The bastard wanted to know why.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ed asked angrily. Roy linked his fingers and rested his chin on them.

"Guilt." Roy stated. Ed turned his face away. He clenched his fists and stood up to walk out.

"Listen, Ed." Ed paused. "You have to get over this. It was an accident and…"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ed shouted, turning to face Roy with a fiery glare, "IT WAS MY FAULT! I DIDN'T LEARN MY FUCKING LESSON THE FIRST TIME AND NOW HE'S DEAD! I KILLED HIM! HE WAS MY LITTLE BROTHER AND I KILLED HIM!"

"You didn't kill him, Edward." Roy said, trying to calm Ed down.

"YES I DID! WHY IS HE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS HAS TO SUFFER MOST? WHY DIDN'T THE TRUTH JUST FUCKING TAKE ME? I'M THE ONE WHO PROVOKED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Ed's emotions had been locked up inside for so long that they now came out like some kind of nuclear explosion.

Ed sat back down and buried his head in his hands. Roy sat silently for a moment before walking over to put a hand on Ed's shoulder. Ed didn't want that.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" he shouted. He clapped his hands and slammed them on the ground. Instead of the barrier he'd intended to erect between him and Roy constructing, something else happened.

The room filled with alchemic light. In a blinding flash, the floor opened, and Ed and Roy fell through. The next thing they knew, they had appeared right next to a collapsing mine.

Boomshakaendofflashbacklaka

"I'm sorry I put you through all that." Said Aang.

"No, Al. If anyone should be apologizing, it's me." said Ed.

"Oh, for the love of… Will you two just forgive each other and get on with your lives?" said Roy, his eyebrow twitching a little.

The boys turned to one another and nodded. Now that all the guilt, anger, and sorrow were gone, Aang was able to focus on other things.

"So, you and Winry kissed?"

"Al, have I told you to shut the hell up yet today?"

"Not yet."

"Shut the hell up."

Aang smiled.

**A/N: I know that Ed doesn't usually let out a lot of emotional info, but he's really tired and a whole shit load of emotions had been going through him just earlier so he's not really thinking before speaking. So, yeah, most of it's just slipping out.**

**And, no, he didn't call Winry after she kissed him.**

**Elmarine: What a jerk-ass. Someone needs to talk some sense into that moron.**

**Ed: *punches Elmarine in face* I don't need relationship advice! Shut up!**

**Elmarine: *burns Ed to crisp with Spaceballs the Flamethrower* Eat your heart out Mustang. **

**Me: These A/N's are really running up my hospital bill. **

**While we sweep Ed up and attempt to reassemble him at the hospital: Will Roy ever escape the annoyance? Will Ed ever confess his love to Winry? Will Al/Aang continue to make fun of him because of it? What is the air speed velocity of unladen swallow?**

**King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?**

**Me: I… I don't know that! *gets thrown into gorge of eternal peril***


	7. Strange Appearences

**A/N: We have managed to put Ed back together and get me out of the Gorge of Eternal Peril! How, you ask? Grit, spit, and a whole lot of duct tape!**

**Skipper: *knocks me out* You are not authorized to use that line. Kowalski, analysis.**

**Kowalski: We are within some kind of fanfiction, Skipper.**

**Private: Look at the previous chapter, sir. She forgot to do the disclaimer.**

**Skipper: Fish and chips! Rico!  
**

**Rico: (translated from Rico-language) This author does not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Avatar: The Last Airbender, or Madagascar. These titles and all pertaining to them belong to their respective owners. **

**Skipper: Good work, boys.**

**All Penguins: *high fives***

They landed in a small, grassy valley. There was a little pond on one end and a hill separating them from the nearest town, which was about a mile away. It was late.

"This looks like a good spot to set up camp." Said Sokka, hopping off of Appa (heh, Sokka and Appa. Heh, half rhyme).

"You kids just move from camp to camp?" asked Roy.

"We _are_ fugitives from the Fire Nation." Said Katara.

"Besides, Appa would be hard to hide in a town." Said Aang. Appa grunted in agreement.

"If you're on the run, why stay in the Fire Nation?" Roy asked.

"We need to get to a rendezvous point to meet up with the invasion." Said Sokka.

"You're invading? Well, then, maybe I could give you some pointers. I've done my fair share of invasions in my time of being a military dog." Bragged Roy.

"I was hoping you'd say something like that. We've got a pretty good plan but we're not exactly military strategists." Said Sokka. Roy smirked.

"Could you guys quit plotting and help us unpack?" asked Katara. They nodded.

"Where's Fullmetal? He should be doing some of this." Said Roy, bringing a bag down.

"He's over there." Said Toph, gesturing to Ed who was lying on the ground, fast asleep.

"Your brother usually this helpful?" she asked Aang sarcastically. He laughed.

"Usually." He said.

"I should kick him and tell him to get his ass in gear." Said Roy, looking over. Aang was about to say something, but Roy cut him off.

"_But_," He said, "It's been a long time since that kid's gotten some decent sleep. He needs it."

They all continued to unpack.

Boomshakalaka

"Is he _still_ asleep?" asked Toph the next day.

"He does that." Said Aang, pushing the water he and Katara were bending back to her.

Just about that time, Ed woke up. He yawned and looked around. He spotted Roy and Sokka working on invasion ideas. He smirked and walked over to them. When he got there, he "tripped over himself" and landed on top of Roy, his right elbow jabbing into Roy's stomach. Roy grunted.

"Is it time, already, to ruin my day, Fullmetal?" he asked. Ed smiled sarcastically.

"Oh, I'm _so_ sorry, Mustang, I should really watch where I'm going." He said, getting up and brushing himself off, "It's odd that I didn't notice you. Usually, I can hear your ego bragging to itself from a couple hundred kilometers away." Roy's eye twitched slightly before he settled into a sarcastic smile of his own.

"Gee, I hope you didn't hurt yourself. I'm pretty sure you didn't, though. You don't have that far to fall." He said. It was Ed's turn to twitch.

Before he could go into a full-out short rant, however, Aang butted in with "Okay, you guys, cut it out."

"Aw, c'mon, Al. I'm just messing with him." Said Ed, smirking.

"I just don't want this to turn into a full-scale alchemy battle." Said Aang, remembering what had happened the last time. And the time before that. And the time before that.

"Speaking of that, I've been wanting to test alchemy against bending." Said Ed, "You up for it, Al?" Aang smiled and got into stance. Ed did so as well.

"This should be interesting." Said Roy.

"Go, Aang! Show him how we do things!" shouted Sokka.

Ed clapped his hands and transmuted the ground and Aang earthbended against it. The battle had begun. As the brothers fought, the others looked (in Toph's case, "looked") on.

"I hope they don't hurt each other." Said Katara.

"Please. They've been going at it like this since they were very young. They're far too experienced to accidentally hurt one another too badly." Said Roy.

"Yeah. Quit your worrying and enjoy the fight." Said Toph.

It went on for quite a long time; each trying to outdo the other, but never quite getting there. Eventually, Aang realized that the fight wasn't going anywhere, so he decided to tackle Ed. Once Aang had him pinned down, Ed pushed him off and pinned Aang down. After this, they practically rolled across the ground until… SPLASH! They rolled into the pond.

Everyone else laughed. The brothers sat up with identical expressions of annoyance on their faces. Ed spit the water that had gotten in his mouth at Aang. Aang retaliated by splashing him. Ed tried to splash Aang back, but Aang deflected it with waterbending and, instead, it hit Katara.

Upon realizing this, Aang blushed. Katara, however, smiled evilly. She bended a big bubble of water and dropped it over the boys. Some of it got on Sokka, who shook if off onto Toph. She proceeded to push him into the pond, and what was once and alchemy/bending battle had turned into a big splash fight.

They all laughed more than they had in a long time, especially Ed. For once, he felt like he was acting his age.

Boomshakalaka

After the splash war, everyone but Roy—who hadn't participated—was soaked. They were all still laughing as they got out of the water and began to dry themselves off. Roy was sitting against a rock, looking board. Ed noticed this and walked over to him.

"What's the matter, Mustang? Afraid of a little water?" he asked flipping some onto him. Roy grumbled and brushed it off.

"Oh, wait! I forgot! You're made of cesium."(1) Ed said sarcastically. Aang laughed, but the rest of the GAang were confused as to how that was a joke. Roy stood up.

"Very funny. Now, why don't you go dry off before you start to rust?" he said. Ed grumbled, but he clapped his hands and dried himself off, anyway. He didn't really want to get beaten with a wrench when he got home.

"I say we go get some food. I'm starving." Said Ed.

"I'm with you on that one, buddy." Said Sokka. The group made their way to the town.

Boomshakalaka

There weren't very many people in the town. At least, that's what it looked like to the group that had just walked in.

"Where do you think everyone is?" asked Katara.

"In the center of the town. There's something… strange there." Said Toph.

"You psychic or something?" asked Ed.

"No. I can feel them with earthbending." She said. Aang put a hand to the ground.

"I can feel it, too." He said.

"What, exactly, is 'it'?" asked Roy.

"I'm… not sure. But, like Toph said, it's definitely strange." Said Aang.

"Let's go check it out." Said Sokka. They ran off to the middle of the town.

Boomshakalaka

What looked like the town's enitire population was crowed around something the GAang + 2 couldn't see.

"Will all civilians please return to your homes." Said a voice. When no one heard, some fire was shot into the sky to get people's attention. They all looked to where it had come from.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the military must investigate this anomaly. You must all return to you homes until it is deemed to be safe or not." Said a man who looked to be the commanding officer, "Please. This is for your own safety." There was much grumbling within the crowd as they flocked out.

"Let's go get a closer look." Said Sokka.

"How are we going to do that?" asked Aang.

"We're going to use our own, personal Fire Nation soldier." He said, looking at Roy. Roy got the idea, and smirked. He walked up to the commanding officer, the others following him.

"Sir!" he said, saluting the man.

"At ease, soldier. What is it?" said the man.

"I wish to help as much as I can, sir." Said Roy. The man looked Roy up and down.

"Are you stationed in this town?" he asked.

"No, sir. I am charged with guarding these young nobles on their way back to the capital." Said Roy.

"Nobles?" The man looked behind Roy at the kids, who were all trying their best to look regal. And overdoing it.

"Except for the short, blond one. He's just a servant." Said Roy. Ed looked like he was going to attack Roy. Aang put a hand on his brother's left shoulder and squeezed, hoping he'd get the message. He did, but he still seemed pretty pissed.

"If you are a guard, you should be guarding." Said the man.

"It was their idea, sir. They were curious." Said Roy.

"Very well. You kids keep your distance, though. We don't know if it's dangerous or not." Said the man. He and Roy exchanged salutes, and the man walked over to another group of soldiers.

The GAang + 2 walked over to the… whatever-it-was. At first glance, it looked like a puddle of clear water. However, Aang and Toph's insistence that it was something else prompted them to look closer.

Upon this closer inspection, they found that they were looking into the perspective of someone lying on their back and facing the ceiling of an office. It also seemed to be glowing, but it was hard to tell in the day light.

"S-sir! There's… m-movement." Said one of the soldiers. The rest, including the GAang + 2, gathered around the edges and peered in. (A/N: This is where my pen died. A moment of silence, please.) They gawked at what they saw. It looked like the reflection of a young woman, staring into the thingy. Her expression was blank. The commanding officer was the first to snap out of it.

"Hello, young Miss. Can you hear us?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow. The man commanded that someone bring him ink, brush, and paper. Once he recieved this, he wrote down what he had said. She shook her head, no.

He wrote "Have you any idea what is going on?" She shook her head, no, again.

He wrote "I am Colonel Shou."

She walked away, but returned with a piece of paper that said "Lt. Col. Riza Hawkeye."

"The military?' Col. Shou asked himself. He saluted her; she saluted back. It was a sign of respect and, more importantly, peace between the two. Still, everyone had one thought on their minds: What's going on?

Everyone, that is, except for the three Amestrians. These alchemists (and ex-alchemist) had a different thought: portal. And, of course, they knew who was on the other side.

In the first half-second of her appearance, Riza had noticed Roy. In the half-second after that, Roy had subtly made a motion to tell her to not acknowledge him. She followed this command flawlessly.

Col. Shou was writing something.

"Would you like us to send delegates over or vice versa?" Riza took a quick glance at Roy, who shook his head. She copied the motion and began to write.

"We are having our experts examine this thing. Until any travel that may be possible is deemed safe, we should probably not do anything to disturb it."

Col. Shou nodded, and they saluted one another again.

"Men!" he called. They stood to attention.

"I want you four to guard this." He pointed to four soldiers, "The rest of you, back to your stations." The men saluted, bowed, and left. He turned to the GAang + 2.

"As for you, I know of a good inn if you would like to stay." He said.

"That would be nice. Thank you." Said Aang. They all bowed, except for Ed, who needed to be elbowed in the ribs by Aang first.

Boomshakalaka

The Colonel was right; it was a nice inn.

Once they were settled in, Katara asked, "What was that thing?"

"Probably some kind of portal." Said Aang.

"What makes you say that?" asked Sokka.

"That was my office." Said Roy.

"So you know who that woman was?" asked Toph. Sokka had been describing things to her as they happened.

"Actually, the scorch marks were enough to prove it was his." Said Ed, getting back at Roy for the short servant remark.

"_Anyway_, I believe that we can use it to get back to Amestris." Said Roy. Aang looked a little saddened. He had just gotten his big brother back, and now he was going to have to say goodbye so soon after. This was not lost on Edward.

"Of course, we'll have to make sure it's safe, first. It doesn't look like The Gate, but that bastard The Truth may be lurking around in there. I really don't feel like loosing the rest of my limbs." He said.

Boom…ohyougetthepicture

The rest of the day, Roy was down by the portal researching and discreetly passing messages to Riza while the kids explored the town. They had to keep up their "curious nobles" façade.

Roy talked to some of the other soldiers, but the only explanation any of them could come up with was "Spirit World Magic," which he inwardly rolled his eyes at. If anything, it was alchemy. Though not like any alchemy he'd ever seen.

This led him to think about what had happened in his office. Ed had been about to do a transmutation when they were transported to this world. There must have been a circle in his office, and the alchemic energy Ed was going to use was transferred to that circle.

Someone could have planted that circle trying to get rid of him. But who? And who could have activated the circle in this world? As far as he knew, the only alchemists here were himself and Ed.

"Contemplating complicated assassination plots?" asked a voice behind him. He jumped a little and turned around. It was a young woman with long, blond hair in a pony-tail. She was carrying a muddy shovel which left him wondering along with the fact that she knew exactly what he had been thinking.

"How did you guess?" he asked calmly.

"I'm cool like that." She said. She leaned on the shovel, "So, eh, what's up doc?"

"I'm not even sure." Said Roy, looking into the portal again. She followed his gaze.

"Well, would you look at that? The office of the great Fuhrer of Amestris." She said. Roy stiffened.

"How do you know that?" he asked.

"I've been around the block a couple of times." She said, tossing the shovel. There was a distant sound of crashing and a cat screeching.

"By the way, that thing is totally safe to go through. You went through a less developed one to get here." She said.

"Less developed?" asked Roy.

"Yeah. Either the reaction will go on and on until the bonds are so strong that they will become permanent, which is not good, or a human will go through. You see, the precise chemical make-up of a human disrupts the reaction which breaks apart the forming bonds." she said. Roy was stunned. Everything she'd said had made sense, except for one detail.

"What kind of reaction is it?" he asked. She paused.

"Damn. I thought I'd dug that hole." She said.

"What?" he asked. She rolled her eyes.

"Weren't you wondering what the shovel was for? I was digging plot holes." She said.

"I'm sorry. Plot holes?"

"Yeah, you know. Holes in the plot. The author's kind of lazy." She said, dismissively. Hey, wait a minute! I work hard!

"Whatever. If you don't believe me, ask yourself this: How is it that it was only the 100 years that Aang was in the iceberg that didn't count?"

"Time warp." He said, thinking of what Aang, himself, had said.

"Oh, please. You know that's a lame explanation." Oh, come on! Really! "Shut up! I'm talking! I mean, think deeper than that. Doesn't it seem a little off?"

Roy did think about it. Sure, she seemed crazy, but he couldn't help it. And it did seem a little off. Almost like it was planned.

"That's what I thought." Said the woman, noticing his expression.

"By the way, you have 'till noon tomorrow before that thing seals itself. Chop! Chop!" she said cheerfully. She began to walk away.

"Wait." Roy called after her. She turned.

"Yeeeeeeees?" she asked sweetly.

"You seem to know a lot. I have one more question: Do you know who drew that circle in my office?" he asked. She looked at him for a second, and then laughed.

"Don't you worry, Roy. No one's trying to get rid of you."

_So she knows my name._ thought Roy.

"I couldn't tell you who it was, but I think that they were probably just very, _very_ bored." She said. The way she'd said it had given her away. Roy knew that it had been her who'd done it. When she smirked, he knew that she knew that he knew.

Wait, what did I just say? Uhh… The point is that they both know that that other knows… Okay, I'm confusing myself now. We're skipping that bit.

The woman put her hand out and the shovel she had thrown zoomed back to her. She rested it on her shoulder and put one hand on her hip.

"Noon, tomorrow, _mein Führer_. Don't be late." She said.

"Who are you?" Roy demanded, he fingers ready to snap.

She smiled wickedly and snapped her own fingers first. Instead of creating fire, she disappeared in a sparkling, swirling mist of blue, green, and purple accompanied by a whoosh. Right after, Roy could've sworn he'd seen the word "ELMARINE" appear in midair, but it disappeared just as quickly as it had come.

I'mnotgonnasayit

The GAang + 2 met up in front of the inn.

"You okay? You seem a bit shaken up." Toph asked Roy.

"Yeah, you don't look so good." Said Katara.

He really didn't. He was pale and a bit shaky. He'd been among some of the best alchemists in the world and he'd seen some pretty amazing bending, but he'd never seen anything like what that woman had done. It hadn't made sense. He'd searched for two straight hours for any wires or trap doors, but there was nothing. He didn't want to trust her, but there was nothing else to go on.

"I found some interesting information." He said to the group.

"Let's got talk inside." Said Sokka.

Seriouslyyoucan'tmakemesayit

"That portal is a more developed version of the one we went through to get here. When a human goes through, it will evaporate." Roy explained. Katara got him a glass of water, which he accepted gratefully.

"That's great! Then you guys can go back." Said Sokka.

"So what's the catch?" asked Ed.

"As far as I know, there isn't one." Said Roy.

"Don't give me that shit, Mustang. I know that you wouldn't be acting like this unless there was some kind of catch." Said Ed.

"The only catch I know about is that we only have 'till noon tomorrow to use that portal." Said Roy. He stood up.

"We leave for Amestris tonight. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lot to think about." He walked out of the room.

"What's with him?" asked Sokka.

"I'm not sure, but I've been thinking a lot, too." Said Ed.

"Is thinking all you alchemists do?" asked Toph. Ed ignored her.

"Al, we need to talk." He said. Katara realized that this was Ed's way of asking the others to leave.

"We'll give you some privacy." She grabbed Sokka and Toph by their wrists.

"Come on, you two." She said and they left the room.

"What did you want to talk about, Brother?" Aang asked.

"About me staying."

"What do you mean?"

"You heard me."

"But you have to go back."

"Don't tell me you don't want me here."

"No! I do!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"What about your job? And Winry? And your automail? It's not like there's a mechanic anywhere around here."

"I'm sure they'll understand. As for my automail, I just won't break it."

"But…"

"Oh, c'mon, Al. Why are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Because you don't have to be here."

"Huh?"

"Don't you get it? I'm stuck here. I can never go back to Amestris because of what I am. But you're not bound like I am. You can go home and this might by your only chance. I don't want you to blow it because of me."

Ed smiled and shook his head.

"What am I gonna do with you? Don't you remember what we did? We burned down our own house just so we couldn't turn back. We didn't back then and I'm not going to now. You said it yourself: We're all we've got. Besides, this fire lord guy sounds like someone the famous Elric brothers should be taking on together."

"Brother, you're stubborn."

"That's right! And my stubborn ass is staying right here."

Aang smiled.

Nopestillnotgonnasayit

"Fullmetal. Get up. Now."

Ed sat up groggily, his mind barely registering that Roy was shaking him.

"Get dressed. We're leaving." said Roy. Ed did as he was told, far too tired to even understand what was going on.

Once he was dressed, he rubbed his eyes and yawned. Ed tried to make it back to his bed, but Roy grabbed his left wrist and practically dragged him out.

"Hey, Mustang, wait a minute…" Ed muttered, still only half awake.

"There's no time, Fullmetal. We have to go now." Said Roy, not stopping.

About halfway down the road, Ed finally realized what was going on. He yanked his wrist out of Roy's hand.

"What are you doing? We have to go." Said Roy.

"I'm not leaving."

"What?"

"I'm staying here to help my brother."

"Fullmetal, I don't have time for this…"

"I'm serious! He's my little brother and I'm supposed to protect him, so I'm gonna stay here and do just that." Roy looked into Ed's eyes. He saw the same fire he'd seen when he'd told Ed about being a state alchemist.

"There's no convincing you, is there?" he asked. Ed shook his head.

"I thought not." Said Roy.

"Hey, Mustang. Do you think you could do something for me?" asked Ed.

"What is it?" Ed put his hand in his pocket and brought out a letter. He gave it to Roy.

"Could you give this to Winry Rockbell? In case I don't come back." Roy raised an eyebrow.

"You'd better not read it." Ed said, blushing a little. Roy put it in his pocket.

"I'll get it to her." He said.

"Thanks." Said Ed. He began to walk away.

"Fullmetal." Roy called after him. Ed turned back.

"I'm not going to say it was a pleasure, because it wasn't, but," Roy saluted Ed, "it was an honor to serve with you, Fullmetal." Ed saluted him back.

"You, too, Flame." He said. Roy held out his hand. Ed shook it.

"See ya, kid."

"Maybe."

They went their separate ways.

OhfineBoomshakalaka

Roy had changed the oxygen levels in the air just enough to knock the four guards out and now he stood at the edge of the portal. In the dark night, he could definitely see it glowing.

He sighed. He still wasn't so sure about the whole thing.

"Having second thoughts?" said a voice behind him. He jumped a little and turned around. It was the woman from earlier.

"Stop doing that." He said.

"No." she stated. Roy's eye twitched a little. He took a deep breath.

"So, your name's Elmarine, huh?" he asked. She jumped up and down excitedly.

"Oh! You saw that? Wasn't it awesome?" she said, sounding very much like a small child showing off a new trick.

There was silence for a moment.

"You're a strange one, aren't you?" asked Roy. She nodded happily. Roy rolled his eyes and looked back into the portal.

"You might want to go in head-first." She said.

"Why?"

"Once the gravity on the other side begins to work against you, you'll fall on your head and break you neck. It's kind of a dumb way to die. Funny, though."

Roy thought about everything she had said to him. It all seemed to make sense, but there was something about her that screamed "untrustworthy."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" he asked.

"Well, the laws of physics state…"

"Not about that. I mean how do I know you're telling the truth about the portal being safe? This is all your doing in the first place. How do I know that you don't just want to watch me get ripped to shreds by The Gate?"

"That would be _hilarious_ but I give you my word that I'm not making this up."

"Why should I trust your word?" She seriously thought about it for a moment.

"Let's see…" she said, then, all of a sudden, she swept Roy's feet out from under him and he fell through the portal head-first.

"_Te videbo!_"(2) she said, waving cheerfully.

There was a flash of light, and both Roy and the portal were gone.

"Well, that was easy!" she said, and then she followed him via teleportation.

"What! Why?"

Because I said so.

"Angry mumble."

Oh, it'll be fun! You get to bug him the entire time.

"Weeeeeeell…"

Just go!

"Alright! Jeez!"

She disappeared in a sparkling, swirling mist of blue, green, and purple, accompanied by a whoosh. Alright, is everyone clear on how she disappears/teleports? 'Cuz I'm not going to say that long time/space wasting explanation again. We understand each other? Yes? Good! Cue the A/N!

**A/N: What will happen to Mustang? Will Ed ever be able to get back home? What did he write in that letter? Are the penguins gone? *looks around nervously***

**Skipper: No.**

**Me: *runs and hides***

**Elmarine: Great. Now she has a paralyzing fear of cows **_**and**_** penguins. **

**BTW: (1): Cesium explodes when it's put into water. (there's a Youtube video if you want to see)**

**(2) Latin for "I will be seeing you." But in this context "See ya!"**


	8. Sokka's Master and Roy's Disaster

**A/N: Yayz! Another chappie! Wow, this one is long and ridiculous. So much so that I don't even need to make a long and ridiculous A/N. **

**Disclaimer: There is a lot I don't own in here. I list:**

**1. Fullmetal Alchemist**

**2. Avatar: The Last Airbender**

**3. Deadpool**

**4. The Rorschach and Deadpool Theme Song (itsjustsomerandomguy on Youtube. "Marvel and DC: Wolverine (Deadpool) and Watchmen" Watch. Is funny.) **

The next thing Roy knew, he was on his back on the floor of his office. He sat up, groaned, and rubbed his back.

"Good to see you in person, sir." Said Riza, offering him a hand. He took it and she helped pull him up.

"Thank you, Hawkeye." He said, dusting himself off.

Riza walked over to the door and locked it. When she walked back over to Roy, she hugged him.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

"I got a little scared when you and Ed just disappeared." She admitted. Roy held her close.

"It's okay. I'm here now." He said, comforting her. They stayed like that for a while, just holding one another.

"Alright, now. We have work to do." Said Roy, kissing her forehead. They both got back into their professional mentality.

"Sir, I noticed that Fullmetal didn't return with you." She said.

"He opted to stay behind. Don't worry, he'll be okay. He's where he needs to be right now, according to him. Now, get me Armstrong." Said Roy.

"Yes, sir." She saluted him and left.

Roy put his hands in his pockets and felt a crinkle of paper. He pulled it out and saw the letter Ed had entrusted to him.

"Hawkeye, wait." He called. She walked back in.

"Yes, sir?" she asked.

"Take this to the mailroom, as well." He said, giving her the letter. She took it.

"Of course, sir." She said. She began to walk out, "But I'm going to have to ask you to start on you paperwork right away." Roy chuckled.

"Love you." he said. Riza smiled, and left.

Roy changed back into his military uniform, sat down behind his desk and looked at the stack of paperwork. It was huge. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. He wasn't too worried. He'd get it all done eventually and Riza would be there to make sure he did. At the time, he was just relieved to be home. That is, until…

"_Salve_, Royo!"(1) He jumped nearly a mile out of his seat. He turned and looked up from the floor at…_ her_.

"I thought I'd left you in the other universe!" he exclaimed.

"You did, but I followed you back!" she said cheerfully.

"How? Why?" Roy stuttered, still bewildered.

"Like this." She snapped her fingers and teleported to the other side of the room.

"As for your second question; I'd rater be here than… _The Vault!_" (2) Really creepy music played.

"Where did that music come from?" asked Roy.

"It's that scary of a place, _meus amicus_."(3) She said, shivering. However, she recovered quite quickly. Roy got up and walked over to her.

"Elmarine, you're in my world now." He said.

"Captain Obvious! YOU'VE RETURNED TO US!" she said sarcastically, throwing out her arms. Then she crossed them and gave him a look that said 'Really, Roy? Really?'

"And as Fuhrer of Amestris," Roy continued, ignoring her, "I command you to leave."

Elmarine opened her mouth and put up a finger as if she were going to say something, but she instead fell to the floor in laughter.

"I'm serious!" said Roy, his eye twitching. Elmarine stood up, gasping for breath. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know! That's why it's so funny!" she said, and fell to the floor, laughing, again.

Roy angrily watched the ceiling and waited for her to stop. After a couple of minutes, she took a few deep breaths.

"Okay. Okay, I'm done." She said. She looked up at Roy, and burst out laughing again. Roy pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to be a _long_ day.

Boomshakalaka

The GAang (and Ed's a part of the GAang now. Yayz!) was flying through the sky on Appa. Aang was trying to teach Ed how to drive, but Ed wasn't doing very well.

"I can't believe he just left like that." Said Katara.

"I can." Said Ed, "He's always been an inconsiderate jerk."

"Mountain." Said Aang in a bored tone. Ed pulled on the reigns and avoided it.

"Ed, I already hate flying. I don't need you to make it worse." Said Toph, tightening her grip on the saddle.

"What are you talking about?" asked Ed.

"Tree." Everyone but Toph said in unison. Ed swerved to avoid it.

"That's what I'm talking about." Said Toph. They'd had to tell Ed to avoid various objects for the past hour.

"Brother, maybe I should drive." Said Aang, taking the reins. Appa grunted in agreement.

"Kay." Said Ed. He climbed back into the saddle.

"Ed, I was thinking that you should get some new clothes." Said Sokka, "I mean, black is okay, but it still attracts attention." Ed smirked.

"I'm way ahead of you, Sokka." He said. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a vile of red liquid.

"While we were in the other town, I got some red dye." He said. He did some alchemy, and his once black clothes turned a dark red.

"Awesome." Said Sokka.

"I know." Said Ed. He leaned back and fell asleep.

"How does he do that?" asked Katara.

Boomshakalaka

Roy's head and desk were becoming very good friends when the laughing stopped. He stood up to see, but she was gone. He walked over to the spot, just to make sure, but she wasn't there. He smiled in relief.

"Thanks, Royo! I really needed that laugh today!" she said behind him. Roy swore under his breath and turned around. His jaw practically dropped to the floor. She was on her stomach with her feet in the air and her chin resting on her hands. And she was floating. Roy shook his head and regained his composure.

"I don't understand what was so funny." He said. Elmarine giggled.

"Because, Silly, no one can tell me what to do." She said, "Hell, the author hardly has a handle on me!" This is true :( "I stay where I want, when I want, for however long I want. And this place is starting to grow on me." Roy saw where she was going with this.

"Oh, no!" he said.

"Oh, yes!" she said, dropping into his arms in the bridal position.

"We're going to be living together!" she exclaimed cheerfully. Roy sweatdropped. For once, he, the famed "Fuhrer of Sarcasm," was utterly tongue-tied.

Boomshakalaka

The GAang were lying on their backs, watching a really cool meteor shower.

"Wow. This is amazing to watch." Said Katara.

"Kind of makes you realize how insignificant we are." Said Sokka.

"Tell me about it." Said Aang and Ed simultaneously, both thinking about their time on the island.

"Eh. You seen nothing once, you've seen it a thousand times." Said Toph. All of a sudden, one of the meteors crashed to the earth.

"You've never seen nothing like this." Said Sokka.

They saw a town in the distance that was dangerously close to the blaze. The GAang sprang into action.

(Swirly Batman transition with Aang's arrow instead of the Batsymbol.)

"There's a creek over here. I'll bend the water onto the fire." Said Katara, fwipping Appa's reins.

"Toph, let's make a trench to keep the fire from coming any closer." Said Aang.

"I'll lower the oxygen composition in the air." Said Ed. Sokka looked at his club.

"What should I do?" he asked.

"Keep an eye on Momo." Said Aang. Momo climbed onto Sokka's head.

"So, what, I'm just a lemur sitter?" Sokka called out. No one answered; they were all too busy putting out the fire.

"There, there. Feel better?" said Sokka, patting Momo on the head.

The fire wasn't too hard handle for three benders and an alchemist. It was all over when Aang froze the last of it.

"Good work, everybody." He said. Ed looked at the snow.

"Something's missing…" he said. He clapped his hands and placed them on the ground. Out of the snow rose replicas of Major General Armstrong and the Fort Briggs soldiers. Aang and Ed laughed.

Boomshakalaka

"Oh, this will be so great! We can stay up late! And watch scary movies! And braid each other's hair! And…" Roy dropped her.

"There's no way in hell that's going to happen!" he said.

"Well, you'd have to grow your hair out a little, but…"

"Not that! I mean there's no way in hell you're living with me!"

"Why not, Royo?"

"1: You sent me to an alternate universe just because you were bored. 2: You pushed me into the portal. 3: You broke into my office. And 4: You really, _REALLY_ annoy me!" Roy glared at her. Elmarine's lower lip trembled. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Really?" she asked.

"So much that I want to torch you." He said. She made a little "kicked puppy" sound. Suddenly, she smiled hugely.

"I smell sitcom! Cue the Rorschach and Deadpool theme!"

_Rorschach and Deadpoooooool!  
__A nut and a foooooooool!  
__Heeeeee's a mental case!  
__Muuuuuusic's not his thing!  
__Soooooo I wrote the theme!  
__IIIIIII'm so talented!  
__Copyright Deadpooool!  
__Copy and I'll suuuuuuuue!  
__I think that the song should end right here!_

"You know, on second thought, maybe you should just torch me." she said. Roy snapped his fingers and she was engulfed in flame. A good two minutes of burning later and she was still sitting there; completely unscathed.

"You don't die, do you?" asked Roy.

"Nope!" she said happily.

Roy walked over to his chair and reacquainted his head and desk. So he had an extremely powerful, bipolar immortal girl who was more annoying than Hughes with pictures of his family who was coming to stay with him. Let the good times roll.

Boomshakalaka

"These people have no idea how close they were to getting toasted last night." Said Aang, sitting down with his tray of food.

"Yeah. The worst thing about being in disguise is we don't get the hero worship anymore. I miss the love." Said Toph.

"Boohoo. Poor heroes." Said Sokka sarcastically.

"What's your problem? You haven't even touched your smoked sea slug." said Katara.

"I don't blame him." Said Ed, "It doesn't even look edib…" Aang shoved a fork-full of it into Ed's mouth.

"Oh, that is tasty!" said Ed, and he dug in. Sokka, however, was still sulky.

"It's just all you guys can do this awesome bending stuff like putting out forest fires and flying around and making other stuff fly around. I can't fly around, okay? I can't do anything." He said.

"That's not true! No one can read a map like you." Said Katara.

"I can't read at all." Said Toph.

"Yeah! And who keeps us laughing with sarcastic comments all the time? I mean, look at Katara's hair, right? What's up with that?" Aang said, attempting to be funny but failing miserably.

"What? What's wrong with my hair?" asked Katara self-consciously.

"Nothing. I was just trying to…"

"I appreciate the effort, but the fact is each of you is so amazing and so special and I'm… not. I'm just the guy in the group who's regular." Said Sokka. Katara walked over to her brother while Ed nudged his.

"You are a love_ guru_." He whispered.

"Shut up." Aang whispered back, turning red and sinking into his collar.

Katara sat down next to Sokka.

"I'm sorry you're feeling so down but I hope you know none of us see you that way." she said.

"Yeah." Said Ed, "Al's and my sensei taught us that doing something ourselves was always better than using alchemy."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." Said Sokka.

"Hey, if I _ever_ put words in my sensei's mouth, she'd kill me." said Ed seriously. Katara got an idea.

"I know something that's gonna make you feel better." She said.

"You do?"

Boomshakalaka

Roy was glaring at Elmarine. She raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously, dude, this has been going on for, like, two hours. What are you trying to accomplish?" she said.

_If I glare at it long enough, its brain will explode and it will die._ Thought Roy. Elmarine waved a hand in front of his face.

"Yoo-hoo? Royo? Anybody home?"

_Why isn't it working! ? ! _

There was a knock on the door. Elmarine glanced over to it, and she disappeared.

"Oh, thank God!" said Roy, doing cartwheels in his mind.

"Enter." He called to whoever was at the door. They did so. It was Hawkeye and Armstrong.

"Oh, sir! It's so wonderful to see you here and well!" said Armstrong.

"Okay, Armstrong, keep your shirt on." Said Roy, remembering the major's tendency to strip when he got overly-emotional.

"I need you to do something for me: Rip up the carpet." Said Roy.

"Sir?" questioned Armstrong.

"And don't damage the floor beneath." Said Roy.

Armstrong saluted and did as he was told. As the wood beneath the carpet became more visible, the three saw that there was something written on it.

"Sir, is that a transmutation circle?" asked Riza.

"Yep." Said Roy, "I had a feeling it was there."

"The portal!" Riza gasped, understanding. Roy nodded.

"This is more complex than anything I've ever seen." Said Armstrong, "Who do you think did this?"

"I know exactly who." Said Roy, his eyes darting around the room.

"Yeah, I did a really good job on that one." Said a voice behind him. He jumped a little and turned. There she was, smiling evilly.

"BTW: No one but you can see or hear me." She said, "You talk to me now and your subordinates will think you're insane. Do you want that?" Roy ground his teeth and turned back to Riza and Armstrong.

"I need some time to think this over. Alert Breda, Fallman, Furey, and Havoc about this whole mess." He said. The two saluted and left the room.

He closed the door after them and looked over at Elmarine, who had taken up a perch on his desk. She was reading over his paperwork. He glared at her. He realized, now, that she wasn't just there to bug him; she was there to control him.

Boomshakalaka

"Shopping!" shouted Sokka excitedly. Katara had brought them to a weapons store, and it really had cheered Sokka up.

"Maybe a little something to reinvigorate my battling. Hey! How about these?" he said, grabbing a pair of nunchucks. He began to twirl them around and ended up hitting himself in the head.

"I can't believe I didn't join this group earlier!" said Ed with a laugh, jerking a thumb to the fallen Sokka. He spotted a spear that looked exactly like the one he usually transmuted. Oh, the irony. Oh, the bad puns. He raised an eyebrow and turned away from it.

He eyes went wide when he saw what Aang was wearing. It was an extreme amount of elaborate armor complete with what Aang told Katara was a wind sword. Then he fell over. Ed laughed and walked over to him. He held out his hand.

"Need some help there, _Guru_?" he asked. Aang went red again, but he accepted his brother's help.

Meanwhile, Sokka had spotted something he really liked.

"Oooooo! That's what Sokka's talking about." He said, running a hand over it.

"You have a good eye. That's an original from Piandao the greatest sword master and sword maker in Fire Nation history. He lives in the big castle up the road from here." Commented the shopkeeper.

"That's it! That's what you needed all along, Sokka!" said Aang.

"A sword?" Sokka asked intelligently.

"Not the sword. A master. We've all had masters to help us get better. You should see if you can study with Piandao." Aang said.

"That's a great idea! I could've never gotten to where I am without Master Pakku. Everyone needs a teacher." Said Katara.

"I learned from badger-moles. They don't talk, but they're still good teachers." Said Toph.

"And Al and I would probably be dead if we hadn't begged our sensei to teach us." Said Ed.

"It would be nice to be a master swordfighter. Alright! I'll talk to him." Said Sokka.

Boomshakalaka

Roy was doing his paperwork and trying to ignore Elmarine, who was poking him.

"Come _on_, Royo! Let's _do_ something! It's so _boring_!" she whined. Roy grabbed her wrist to stop the poking.

"Here's an idea: How about_ you_ go and do something and leave _me_ here to work in peace." He said. He threw her arm down. "And stop calling me Royo."

"No and no." she said. There was a knock at the door.

"Oh! That's probably my pizza!" she said, bouncing over to it.

"Your pizza?" Roy asked in disbelief. Had she really called for a pizza to be delivered to the office of the Fuhrer of Amestris? She opened the door and there stood a pimply-faced teenager in a Pizza Hut uniform, holding a thin box.

"Delivery for Elmarine." He said in a voice that was still trying to mature.

"Thank you!" she said, acting genuinely touched. She opened the box and her expression changed.

"Where are the Swedish Fish?" she asked.

"You didn't order…" She shot him through the head. Roy's eyes grew wide. She had just shot a kid point blank for not putting Swedish Fish on a pizza!

"Are you insane! ?" he shouted.

"I am! Thank you for noticing!" she said, smiling brightly. She took out the pizza and began to scrutinize it.

Roy walked over to the teen. There was a puddle of blood around his head but no wound. Roy raised a puzzled eyebrow at that.

"As I was saying," said the teen, he voice deeper all of a sudden, "You didn't order any Swedish Fish, but I have them right here." He pulled out the trademarked yellow bag.

"Wade?" she questioned, recognizing him.

"Wade?" asked Roy, turning to her. When he turned back, instead of seeing the pimply pizza boy, he saw a considerably larger and more muscular man clad in a red and black spandex suit with a mask completely covering his face standing in the doorway.

"Wade!" she shouted excitedly. She let got of the pizza (which remained floating in midair), ran up to him, and flung her arms around his neck. He spun her around in the hug.

"It's so good to see you!" she said after he'd put her down, "It's been so long! Why haven't you called?" She shoved him good-naturedly.

"Oh, you know me. Busy, busy." He said. She laughed.

"No you're not." She said.

"Ya, I am! I was in, like, three books at once! I even made an appearance in a Spiderman comic." He said.

"Oh, yeah. I think you need a vacation." She said. Wade nodded.

"So, who's Slack-Jaw, over there?" he asked, jerking a thumb at Roy, who immediately cleared his throat and regained his composure.

"How rude of me to not make introductions!" she said. Roy rolled his eyes at the irony of the statement.

"Royo, this is Deadpool. Deadpool, this is Royo."

"Nice to meet ya, Royo!" Roy's eyebrows twitched.

"My name is Fuhrer Roy Mustang and you will address me as such." He said in an authoritative tone. Elmarine and Deadpool clicked their heals and saluted Roy.

"_Ya, mein Führer!_" they said in unison. They both laughed.

"We're just messin' with you, man!" said Deadpool, punching Roy in the arm. Roy grumbled.

"Okay, guys, pizza time!" said Elmarine.

"Alright!" said Deadpool, punching the air. They poured the Swedish Fish on, and began to eat the pizza.

"You want a slice, Royo?" Elmarine asked. Roy sighed.

"Sure." He said in defeat. She handed him a slice and he took a bite.

_Not too bad._ He thought.

"Time for a status update." Said Deadpool. Elmarine rolled her eyes. She knew what was coming.

"Listen carefully, Wade: My Puddin' and I are very much together and we always will be. Why do you keep trying to score me when you know you don't have a chance?" she said.

"Because you're so. Fucking. HOT!" he said. She threw a piece of pizza at his face.

"I'll settle for a kiss." He said. She stuck him with lightning.

"That was AWESOME!" he said when he regained consciousness. She smiled smugly.

"By the way: What happened to the delivery boy?" she asked.

"I killed him." Said Deadpool dismissively. Roy choked on his pizza.

"Why?" he asked.

"Dude forgot the Swedish Fish."

Boomshakalaka

"What should we do today?" asked Aang. Sokka had left to train with Piandao, while the rest of the GAang sat around the campsite. They were all very hot, very bored, and missing Sokka very much.

"Sokka's been in charge of the schedule. I'm not sure what we should be doing." Said Katara.

"You're shitting me, right?" asked Ed.

"We shit you not. Plus, it's so hot today." Said Toph.

"How hot is it?" asked Aang, trying to start a joke.

"I dunno. Real hot?" said Toph, not catching on.

"It-it's so hot… It's so hot… Momo is-is shedding like Appa! Huh? Huh?" said Katara in an attempt. Not very good one, might I add.

"It's so hot my automail is burning me." said Ed miserably.

"Nice one." Said Toph, thinking he was trying to make up for Katara's fail.

"I'm not joking, you jerk." Ed moaned.

"Here, let me." said Katara, walking over to him with her water pouch. Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Katara can use waterbending to heal." Aang explained, "Believe me, she does a great job." Ed shrugged and sat up. Katara began to bend water around his ports.

"Wow, Ed. You really have a lot of scars." She said.

"They had to attach the automail somehow." Said Ed.

"I'm not just talking about those." She said, noticing the rest of them and how bad some of them were.

"I'm a military dog. These things happen." He said dismissively. Katara bit her lip and continued healing. She took a glance at Aang. She couldn't help but wonder what kind of scars he would've had if he hadn't been in the armor.

Little did she know, Ed was thinking the same thing.

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine was sitting in Roy's office and silently reading the Encyclopedia Britannica. Roy was no where to be seen so there was no real reason to be annoying. She took a sip of her tea.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the Aang Gang or whatever it is you call them?"

It's the GAang and no. This is a double story line and it's your turn.

"No its not."

Yes it is.

"Wait a minute! You just rewrote this chappie and now you have an extra part, don't you? You're using me as filler!"

Uhhhhh…. No.

"You liar! You are!"

Aw, c'mon, Elm…

"No! I can't talk to you right now!"

But I…

"No! Get out of here!"

But…

"No! Go! And don't come back until you have something of substance for me to do!"

She went back to her book and

"I said scram!"

I'mgone

"Sokka's coming!" said Toph.

"Hey guys. What're you doing?" said Sokka, walking up to them. They all ran up and hugged him.

"We missed you so much!" said Katara.

"Say something funny!" said Aang.

"Funny how?" asked Sokka, who was very confused. Aang and Katara laughed a little bit too enthusiastically.

"What's their deal?" he asked Toph.

"I don't know. They missed you or something. I didn't care." She said, blushing a little.

"Thanks. That warms my heart. Anyway, I need some help." Said Sokka. He noticed that someone was missing.

"Hey, where's Ed?" he asked.

"He got really bored. Don't worry, he'll be back." Said Aang.

It was true. Ed had been fidgety all day, so he left when Katara attempted her second joke. Nobody blamed him.

He walked down the road, alone, and his thoughts turned to Winry. It had been a couple of days since Mustang had left and he wondered if she'd gotten his letter. He wondered if he'd ever see her again.

Boomshakalaka

Winry tightened the last bolt on the little boy's automail.

"There you go. You're all done." She said. The boy stood up, testing his leg. He smiled.

"Thanks, Winry!" he said. She ruffled his hair.

"No problem. What did you do, anyway?" she asked.

"Nothing." He said. He laughed nervously and ran out the door just as Paninya walked in.

"A letter came in for you." Said Paninya.

"Really? From who?" Paninya gave her the letter and Winry opened it. It was from Ed.

_Dear Winry,_

_I know how you always complain that we don't tell you anything, so here goes: Alphonse is alive. The transmutation worked but it sent him to an alternate universe. I'm there now, helping him save it. That seems to be becoming a trend for us. Unfortunately, there is also some bad news. I don't know if I'll ever be able to make it back. The portal this letter came through might have been a one-time thing and I have to stay here and help Al (he can't leave. It's complicated). _

_I just wish I could have told you that I love you in person. I know my timing sucks but I thought that you should know. I'm sorry. I'll miss you._

_Love, _

_Edward_

_PS: Find an alchemist._

And under that was a transmutation circle. Tears began to well up in Winry's eyes.

"Hello?" asked a voice from the doorway. Winry swallowed her emotions and looked to the woman standing there. The woman laughed nervously.

"I'm a little lost." She said.

"Where is it you're trying to get to?" asked Winry, putting the letter down.

"Well, I…" she noticed the transmutation circle.

"Oh! May I? I'm an alchemist." She said, pointing at it. Winry looked at the letter, then at the woman, and nodded.

The woman activated the circle. The letter changed into a paper Hibiscus flower, the ink from all of the words giving it its red petals and green stem. That is, all of the words but three.

_I love you_ decorated one of the petals.

The woman handed it to Winry. She looked at it for a moment, then closed her eyes and smiled. She held it close to her chest and began to cry. Paninya put a hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you." Winry whispered.

"No problem, honey." Said the woman, smiling. She turned and walked towards the door.

"Wait! Don't you want to know where you're going?" called Paninya.

"That's okay. I have a pretty good idea, now." Said the woman. She closed the door behind her and looked to see if anyone was around. When she saw that there wasn't, she snapped her fingers and teleported into Roy's office. On top of Roy.

"Great. You're back." He said sarcastically. She smiled and ruffled his hair. She got up off of him and offered him a hand he didn't take.

"Where were you, anyway?" he asked, standing up and brushing himself off.

"Just running an errand." She said dreamily.

**A/N: Can Roy escape the madness? Will they ever find the pizza boy's body? Will Ed and Winry see each other again? **

**Winry: I hope so.**

**Ed: Me, too.**

**EdWin Fans: Us, too. **

**Deadpool: Tune in next chappie! **

**Me: Will you all get the fuck out of my A/N! **

**BTW: (1) Latin for "Hi!"**

**(2) The place in the back of my mind where all the OC's that are not being used go. It is dark and cold and unforgiving. Normally, the OC's don't come out. **

**(3) Latin for "my friend"**


	9. Beach Explody

**A/N: I have risen! From the depths of procrastination!1!1 And from school work!1**

**Readers: It's been six months! We want the chapter! **

**Me: Okay! Roll disclaimer!**

Disclaimer: Not mine. Leave me alone!

"Hey, Royo, let's go to the beach!" said Elmarine, perking up from her reclining position on the couch.

"Why would I want to go to the beach with you?" asked Roy, not looking up from the notes he was taking on the array carved into his floor (Oh, come on. You didn't think she'd tell him anything, did you?).

She pulled out a random pamphlet on the beach and stuck it in front of his face.

"Fun in the sun, surf, and sand!" she said, quoting it. He looked up.

"You misunderstand me. I said: Why would I want to go to the beach _with you_?" he said. Elmarine pulled back and put a hand over her heart dramatically.

"Royo! I'm hurt!" she said.

"No, you're not," he stated, going back to his notes. She lowered her eyelids and looked down at him.

"Fine, be that way," she said, "But the beach was not a request."

"Joy," said Roy sarcastically. She smiled widely, grabbed his arm in both of hers, and began to lead *coughdragcough* him out of the office; Roy protesting the entire way.

_She may not look like much but she has the grip of a viper,_ Roy thought to himself as they made their way down the halls of Central HQ. They passed Breda, Fallman, Furey, and Havoc.

"Hey, Mustang!" Breda greeted, "Who's your friend?" Elmarine stopped abruptly, causing Roy to fall over due to the sudden lack of motion.

_Whoopsie. Forgot to go invisible,_ she thought.

Boomshakalaka

"Where do you think your brother went?" asked Sokka as the GAang walked away from the end scene of the episode.

"I don't know, but don't worry. He'll be fine," said Aang, "He just can't stand sitting still and doing nothing for so long."

"And yet he can fall asleep so fast," mused Sokka.

"Well, I think he needs to learn some patience," said Katara.

"Why don't you tell him that? He's back at he camp right now," said Toph.

Boomshakalaka

Roy rubbed his head and sat up. He saw his subordinates speaking to Elmarine. He smirked. She was so busted.

"Are you okay, sir?" asked Furey. He nodded as Fallman offered a hand to help him up.

"So how do you know this pretty little thing?" Breda asked, pointing to Elmarine. She giggled.

Roy smirked again. He could feel his victory coming. Her little slip-up left him the perfect opportunity to rat her out.

But before he could say anything, she jumped onto him piggy-back-style, shouting "He's my buddy!"

So much for plan A.

"Hey! I just thought of a great idea!" she said.

_Oh no!_ Roy thought. Elmarine pushed herself into a handstand on Roy's shoulders and flipped off of him, landing right in front of the others.

"Royo and I were going to the beach. You guys want to come?" she asked.

"Will you be in a bikini?" asked Havoc.

"You jerk!" said Elmarine, waking him in the back of the head, "Of course I'll be in a bikini! Especially after all the trouble I went through to get it. I searched for hours and I still couldn't find one in my size. I ended up getting it smaller. It's a tight fit but it's _so_ worth it." She looked back over to the men, whose jaws had been dropping progressively with each word.

"So do you guys want to come?" she asked. They all nodded vigorously. Well, all of them except Roy. He could see what game she was playing and wasn't about to get pulled in.

"No. No one is going to the beach," said Roy.

"Aw, come on Royo! Please!" said Elmarine, putting on her puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, please!" said the men behind her simultaneously.

"I think the beach sounds like a great idea!" said a voice. Everyone turned to see Major Alex Louise Armstrong standing in the hallway.

"Face it, Royo, you're outnumbered and outsized," said Elmarine, gesturing to the sparkling major. Roy sighed.

_Defeated again,_ he thought, and said "Fine."

"HOORAYZ!" shouted Elmarine. She grabbed his arm and began to drag him down the hall again, this time with Breda, Fallman, Furey, Havoc, and Armstrong chasing after them.

Boomshakalaka

Ed was lying on the ground, panting.

"Are you okay, Brother?" asked Aang, "You seem out of breath."

"Were you running from something?" asked Toph. Ed nodded.

"Ham Demon," he explained. Aang frowned and rolled his eyes.

"Please, Brother. I'm way too old to believe in that figment of your imagination," he said.

"I'm not making this up!" said Ed, sitting up.

"You mean you saw it, too?" asked Sokka.

"Not again, Sokka," said Katara.

"Your brother make it up just to scare you, too?" asked Aang. She nodded.

"Now I'm sure there's some kind of 'How to Scare Our Younger Siblings' club," she said.

"THE HAM DEMON EXISTS!" both Sokka and Ed insisted simultaneously. The younger siblings rolled their eyes again.

Boomshakalaka

They ran past Riza in the parking lot.

"Where are you all off to in such a hurry?" she asked.

"The beach," said Fallman.

"You can come, too, if you want," said Furey. She was about to turn them down when she saw Roy with his "help me" face on.

"Alright," she said, and followed them into the car.

Elmarine jumped into the driver's seat and pulled Roy into the passenger's seat. The rest piled into the back.

"Do you even know how to drive?" Roy asked Elmarine.

"Nope!" she said, and slammed on the gas pedal.

Boomshakalaka

"Aang, I know swimming is fun and all, but do you really think you should be exposing yourself like that ? Cover up!" said Toph.

The GAang had left the town where Sokka had been training and were now all cooling off in a lake they had found within a crater.

"What? I'm wearing trunks." Said Aang.

"I know… It's your tattoos I'm worried about. What if someone sees you?" said Toph.

"There are walls all around us. It's completely safe," said Katara.

"Then again, you never know who's watching," said Ed.

"Come on, Ed. You're acting more paranoid than Sokka," said Katara.

"Hey!" Sokka interjected, but was ignored.

"No, I'm not. Al will vouch for me. Right, Al?" Ed said. Al wasn't there to answer. He had gone down a natural water slide. When he came back to the camp, he was smiling hugely and soaking wet.

Ed shook his head and laughed. Maybe he should just let his little brother have some fun for once.

"Ed, you've got to try this!" said Aang.

"Automail. Can't swim," Ed reminded him. Aang shrugged and went back down himself.

Boomshakalaka

The crash had thrown everyone out of the car and had completely wrecked the car, itself.

"Is everyone okay?" Roy called. They all moaned. Surprisingly, no one was hurt.

After they had gotten up and brushed themselves off, they noticed someone was missing.

"Hey, where's Elmarine?" asked Furey.

"There she is," said Fallman, pointing. She was sitting down and holding the steering wheel, turning it as if she was still driving.

"You do realize we've crashed, right?" Roy asked as he walked up to her. She turned to see him. Her eyes darted to the steering wheel and then back to him.

"I knew that," she stated unconvincingly. She threw the steering wheel away and it hit Breda on the head.

"So, where are we?" she asked.

"We are at the beach, a geological landform along the shoreline of an ocean, sea or lake. It usually consists of loose particles which are often composed of rock, such as sand, gravel, shingle, pebbles, waves or cobblestones," said Fallman.

"Wonderful definition, Vato, but you should lighten up," said Elmarine. Fallman hung his head a bit.

Elmarine, on the other hand, smiled widely and ripped her clothes off, revealing an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini. The men followed suit, all revealing swim trunks (except Armstrong, who was wearing a Speedo). Roy and Riza didn't strip. They felt that this whole thing was absolutely ridiculous.

"Oh, come on, you guys. Live a little!" said Elmarine. She ripped their clothes off for them. Roy was wearing trunks and Riza a sporty gray bikini. However, neither of them recalled changing in the first place.

Elmarine smirked and ran to the beach. She did a double flip off the pier and dived in head-first. Breda, Havoc, Fallman, and Furey followed her with cannonballs.

"Nice ones, you guys," she said.

"You call those cannonballs? HA!" declared Armstrong, standing on the edge of the pier.

"WITNESS THE AMAZING CANNONBALL THAT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS!" He jumped and for a moment blocked out the sun. When he came back down, everyone screamed and tried to swim away. Armstrong's splash created a wave that sent everyone else crashing to the beach where they flopped around like fish out of water. He emerged from the water in a sparkling pose.

"Is he always like this?" asked Elmarine.

"Pretty much," said Havoc, pulling a crab out of his trunks.

She zoomed over to Armstrong and plastered herself to his torso like a koala to a tree.

"We're gonna be best friends!" she shouted. Armstrong laughed and patted her on the head.

Mustang rolled his eyes at the immaturity of his subordinates. He felt someone grab his hand. He turned to see Riza.

"How about we let the kids play?" she said. Roy smiled and Riza led him to a shady place on the beach where they could be alone.

While they were doing that, Elmarine was setting up her stuff. Or, rather, having the men set it up for her. She spotted something down the beach and made a show of pointing it out.

"Fallman, what be that building on yonder sand bank?" Fallman immediately stood up as straight as an arrow. Of knowledge!

"It is a bar. A room or establishment where alcoholic drinks are served over a counter."

"Wow, dude. You really do need to lighten up," she said, "Alright boys! Time to go drink like a bunch of alcoholics!"

As they cheer, I feel the time has come for me to apologize to all of you who were hoping for something more serious. There will be more of that to come, but when Elmarine walks in, she brings crack. I'll let you know when she runs out, because once that happens, thing will get intense. But right now, she has enough to last a chappie or two, so bear with me and just pay attention to the GAang. They've got some serious stuff going on.

Speaking of which…

Boomshakalaka

"Guys, you're all gonna think I'm crazy, but it feels like a metal man is coming," said Toph, waking up. Everyone else woke up and Ed yawned.

"Why would we think you were crazy? Al was a metal man for four years," he said.

They all looked up to see a strange man. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, the man took a deep breath, shot a beam of explody out of the tattoo on his forehead, and made everything go BOOM! The GAang tried to counter it with their bending and alchemy, but it was no use.

"This is crazy! How can we beat a guy who blows things up with his mind?" said Sokka.

"We can. Jump on Appa. I'll try to distract him," said Aang. Ed grabbed his wrist.

"I'm going, too," he said. Aang nodded and the boys went after the guy.

They fought a good fight, but it was hard to beat someone who could blow things up with his mind. In the end, they decided to just get away safely. Ed flopped onto his back when they got onto Appa while Katara gave Aang a hug.

"I'm okay," Aang said, panting. Ed gave them a thumbs-up.

"Well, that was random," said Toph.

"I don't think so. I get the feeling he knows who we are," said Katara. Ed looked back to the campsite suspiciously.

"I think there's something more," He mused, "Did you notice his tattoo?"

"I was a little too busy avoiding the explody that was coming from it!" said Sokka.

"No, Ed has a point. I've seen that eye before," said Aang. Katara and Sokka gave the brothers questioning glances.

"When you open The Gate, that eye is what you see," said Ed.

"So… What does that mean?" asked Toph.

"I'm not sure, but it can't be good," said Aang.

Boomshakalaka

Roy and Riza were lying on a beach towel with their eyes closed. Roy had his arm around her shoulders and Riza was resting her head on his chest. Everything was fine until a shadow blocked their sun. Roy opened his eyes to see Elmarine lying across the arms of his subordinates. He groaned and sat up.

"What could you possibly want now?" he asked.

"The boys and I were gonna go to the bar over there. You wanna come?" she said.

"No way in hell," he replied. She pouted for a moment before asking Armstrong to force him for her.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, and flung Roy over his shoulder. He began to walk towards the bar, Roy protesting the entire way.

"You can come, too, if you want," she said to Riza. Riza looked over to Roy and figured he was going to need some help with this one. She got up and followed Armstrong.

Elmarine looked after them, now certain that the two were very close. She would even go as far as to say that the woman would sacrifice herself for Roy. That was good. That was very good. After all, what fun would this be without some sacrifices?

Boomshakalaka

The GAang was riding on Appa a few days after the attack.

"I still don't see why we have to go to this place just because you had a funny dream," said Ed.

"Aang is the Avatar. It was a vision of a past life that wants to help us," Katara countered. Ed burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" she asked angrily.

"Oh, come on! Past lives? Dream visions? It's all a load of crap!" he said between laughs.

"You don't get it, Brother. You haven't had some of the experiences we've had," said Aang.

"Not you, too, Al. You're a scientist. You know stuff like this isn't real," said Ed.

"They why don't you explain the reason I became the Avatar," Aang retorted.

"You're body was in The Gate for a while. Weird shit happens in The Gate," said Ed. Aang groaned.

"Look, I was skeptical at first, too. But once you see some of the things that happen around here, it's hard not to believe," said Sokka. Ed rolled his eyes.

"There it is. That's Roku's home," Aang said upon spotting an island in the sea.

Boomshakalaka

They had been in the bar for hours. All of the men were drunk but Roy. He refused to let his guard down around Elmarine, even though she was probably even more drunk than the rest of the men put together. She stumbled over to Roy and put an arm around his shoulders.

"You… You… I don't know, man! But you!" she slurred. She then giggled, hiccupped, and passed out. Roy saw his chance.

"We're leaving! Now!" he called. He pushed his subordinates out the door. He called them a cab to get them back to Central Command, where he practically sprinted to his office and locked the door. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey, Royo! You miss me?" said a voice from behind.

No. It couldn't be. He turned around and, low and behold, it was. _She _was sitting on his desk. He turned back towards the door and banged his head against it.

"Good to see you, too!" she said.

Boomshakalaka

Ed had a hard time believing what his brother had just told them. They were crowded around Aang, listening to the story about what he'd just seen.

Sure, Ed wanted to believe his little brother, but his scientific mind just wouldn't let him. He sighed and looked up, trying to think of some sold fact that would prove everything.

"Ed?" he heard. He turned to see them all holding hands. Aang's hand was held out towards him and he was smiling. Ed smiled as well and took his younger brother's hand. Maybe he could just let science be for a while.

**A/N: Is there a connection between The Gate and Sparky-Sparky-BOOM Man's tattoo? Will Ed ever be able to accept all of this madness? What is going on inside of Elmarine's evil little head?**

**Elmarine: Muhaha. **

**Me: Stay tuned!**

**Elmarine: And, seriously, what's with everybody hating me?**

**Me: Because you're a horrible person! **

**Elmarine: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Elmarine: AM NOT!**

**Me: BEGONE!**


	10. Messenger

**A/N: Breaking news! Near the end of this chappie, Elmarine runs out of crack! Isn't that great!**

**Elmarine: But I like my crack…**

**Me: Well, I don't care. Get back to rehab!**

**Elmarine: You can't make me!**

**Disclaimer: I… Oh, you know the drill! **

Roy was a very tired and very late Fürher of Amestris. He had been up all night trying to get Elmarine to shut up for about five seconds. The results were a lot of burnt furniture and a very entertained Elmarine. She had even managed to sneak into his dreams at the point when he actually managed to get some sleep.

"Damn, crazy, immortal bitch," he muttered. When he opened the door to his office, he was thoroughly surprised to see Armstrong sitting there and painting Elmarine's nails.

"And she was like 'Oh, no you didn't!' and I was like 'Oh, yes. I think I did,'" she said.

"No!" said Armstrong.

"I know!" she replied.

Roy really didn't know what to say at this point, so he just stood there, dumbfounded.

"You have lovely hands, milady," said Armstrong.

"You're so sweet! You have lovely pecks!" she said.

"Thank you!" he said.

ALRIGHT! ENOUGH OF THIS MANDESS! OUT OF MY OFFICE! NOW!" Roy seethed. Armstrong was taken aback at Roy's level of anger.

"I was merely…" he tried to explain, but Roy screamed "NOW!" over him.

"You should probably go, Alex. Royo seems pretty pissed," said Elmarine, blowing on her newly-painted nails. Armstrong left the room and Roy slammed the door behind him, panting angrily.

"Morning, Royo! You sleep well?" Elmarine asked.

That was just the icing on the cake. Roy walked over to her, grabbed her pony-tail, dragged her across the room, and threw her out the window.

"Hey, there's a kitty down here!"

He slammed the window shut.

Boomshakalaka

Aang's training session had gotten out of hand. Katara and Toph were now fighting one another in a puddle of mud. Ed waded through and pulled them apart, holding back Katara and lifting Toph off her feet.

"Uh, guys, I thought we were supposed to be training _me_," said Aang. Katara pulled away from Ed.

"Very well, pupil. I believe we've had enough training for today," she said and stormed off.

"While Katara cleans up," said Toph, bending the mud off of her and onto Ed, "Let's go have some fun!"

The guys agreed enthusiastically. Ed slung Toph over his shoulder and they began walking towards the town.

"You can put me down, Metalbutt," she said.

"I know," said Ed. He was getting back at her for splashing mud on him.

Boomshakalaka

Roy was afraid to go to the bathroom. He knew that if he left his office, _she_ would take that chance to sneak back in. Eventually, it got to the point that he couldn't hold it anymore. He left his office, fearing the worst.

When he walked back in, he wasn't surprised to see Elmarine sitting behind his desk. All of the lights were off except for the desk lamp, and she was stroking the black cat she'd found. She glared at Roy as he came in.

"You left me outside," she said. Roy raised an eyebrow. This wasn't like her. It had to be some sort of an act.

"That makes me angry, Royo," she stated, still stroking the cat, "And when Elmarine gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset."

The cat meowed its agreement.

"And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset…" She stopped stoking the cat now dubbed "Mr. Bigglesworth," and stood up. "PEOPLE DIE!"

She pushed a button that Roy was positive hadn't been there before. The lights turned on and the floor opened, revealing a tank swimming with… with…

"What exactly are those?" Roy asked.

"They're frickin' sharks with frickin' lasers attached to their frickin' heads!" Elmarine explained. As she sat back down, Mr. Bigglesworth jumped into her lap again.

One of the sharks shot a laser at Roy that missed his head by millimeters. He didn't even flinch.

"Nice," he said sarcastically. She smiled goofily.

_Yep, _thought Roy, _All an act._

Boomshakalaka

Speaking of acts, Toph had pulled a good one on a scam artist in the town. Even though Aang promised Katara after that they wouldn't make a habit of this, they kept on going.

Ed fully endorsed it. He felt that "cheating a cheater" was in accordance with equivalent exchange, and always good for a laugh. Katara confronted him about it once, asking him to help her stop them. Ed shrugged and told her he saw nothing wrong with it. Mostly because he'd gotten to break a few arms when tough guys thought they could beat a "little kid" at arm wrestling.

However, Katara was right about things getting out of hand, and the wanted poster of Toph was proof of that. Even so, Toph still refused to listen to her, insisting that she was acting like a mother.

After Katara stormed off again, Sokka had a talk with Toph. She was ready to apologize, but Katara decided she wanted to try a scam with Toph.

In the end, this left the girls locked in a wooden cage, and as for the boys…

"It's Sparky-Sparky-BOOM! Man!" said Aang.

"You know, I'm starting to think that name doesn't quite fit," said Sokka.

The man shot another beam of explody at them. Ed clapped and sent a bunch of earthen fists his way. The man destroyed most of them, but one caught him in the stomach. He staggered back and coughed something up. When he tried to attack again, Katara and Toph—who'd managed to get out of prison—got to him first. Katara froze his head and the girls ran to the rest of the group.

Ed looked back at that _thing_ the man had choked up, and decided to make a dive for it. The man broke out of the ice just as Ed reached _it_. The man made another attack that Toph blocked with earthbending. Some of the debris hit his third eye and his next attack blew up in his face.

The GAang was able to get out of the town and onto Appa.

"Why did you run towards him! ?" Sokka asked Ed.

"I had to make sure he didn't get _this_ back," he replied, holding up a small, crimson stone.

"Brother… Is that…?"

"Yeah. An incomplete Philosopher's Stone."

Ed looked like he was disgusted that he was holding such a thing and Aang looked afraid to touch it.

"What's the big deal? It's just a crummy stone," said Toph, swiping it from Ed. She was surprised when she touched it. It didn't feel like any form of earth at all.

"It feels like it's alive," she said. Katara and Sokka moved to get a closer look.

Aang went to take the stone from Toph. When he touched it, he pulled back as if he'd been burned. His eyes were wide with shock.

"All… all those people," he muttered. What Aang had seen when he touched the Stone was what Ed had seen on Envy: countless souls screaming and writhing in agony. The difference was that Aang could _feel_ them as well.

"Aang, are you okay?" Katara asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you guys know what the Philosopher's Stone—even and incomplete one like this—is made of?" Ed asked them. They looked at him, waiting for an answer.

"Live humans."

Now everyone was disgusted.

"Does that mean he's a homunculus?" Aang asked once he'd gotten over the shock.

"No. If he were, he would've evaporated once the Stone left him. That, and this would be a complete stone."

Aang took a good, long look at the thing, and, suddenly, it hit him.

"Ed, it looks like Kimblee's."

Boomshakalaka

"Black Hayate stopped barking," Roy noticed. He turned to Elmarine.

"Maybe he's finally killed your precious cat."

"No way. She's just as tough as I am."

"Wait, 'she'? Why would you give a _female_ cat a name like _Mr._ Bigglesworth?"

"Because I can," she said happily. Roy rolled his eyes.

"Hayate's been chasing that thing all day. If it isn't dead, what happened to it?" he asked.

"She's just checking on my investment."

"Investment? What investment?"

"Never you mind. Back to work, human!"

Boomshakalaka

From the roof of one of the buildings in the town's square, a black cat watched as the battle took place. The man she was looking for lost, and was glaring in the direction his foes had fled. She leaped onto his shoulders and placed her tail over his third eye.

_You've made no progress. She needs him alone and yet his friends are still around,_ she said to him mentally.

_The kid's too chivalrous. He always ends up blocking the others,_ he responded in the same way.

_You've also lost one of your Stones. They know who you are. You've failed her, Crimson. She didn't bring you back to the plane of the living and craft this protective shell for you to simply allow you to play._

_Just chill out. I'll get them soon enough._

_No, you won't, Crimson. _

She brought out her claws and slashed his third eye. The protective shell was destroyed, and he could no longer survive. The soul of Zolf J. Kimblee, the one bound to this almost-human body, was gone forever.

Boomshakalaka

Black Hayate began to bark.

"Mr. Bigglesworth is back!" said Elmarine.

"Really?" asked Roy, feigning interest. She nodded enthusiastically.

"Good. Now go kill it," he said.

"Royo, why is it you hate her so?" Elmarine asked.

"It used all the paperwork I'd done as a scratching post!" he said. Elmarine waved him off.

The cat jumped onto the window ledge and walked into Roy's office. When she jumped into Elmarine's lap, Elmarine began to pet her. She purred contently.

Roy closed the window to block out Black Hayate's barking, but it was no use. He decided to go outside and calm the dog down himself. He needed a break, anyway.

Once he was gone, the cat wrapped her tail around Elmarine's wrist, thus transferring all the information she'd learned.

"'_Chivalry,' mee care Nunti? Vidamus num utamur suum 'chivalry' in se."_(1)

**A/N: What is Elmarine plotting? Will the mysterious cat return? Will Kimblee ever stop making things go BOOM? Why is Elmarine speaking in Latin? **

**Elmarine: It's my native language. And it sounds cool. **

**Me: Native language? You're that old?**

**Elmarine: Silence! I kill you! **

**Me: And that was from Jeff Dunham. And then you did something from Austin Powers. You comedy thief. **

**Elmarine: It's not thievery! It's tribute! **

**Me: Whatever… Stay tuned! **

**BTW: (1) "Chivalry, my dear Messenger? Let us see whether we can use their "chivalry" against them. **

**If there are any Latin scholars out there who think they can translate it better, I welcome you. **

"**Nuntius" which means "messenger," will be the cat's professional name from now on. **


	11. The Puppet Masters

**A/N: …. She found the crack again. Where do you keep getting this stuff?**

**Elmarine: Black's**

**Me: What?**

**Elmarine: Behind Black's Hardware store. There's a white guy selling it. **

**Peter Griffin: Ha! I told that joke first!**

**Me: And what are **_**you**_** doing here?**

**Peter Griffin: Oh, you haven't heard?**

**Me: Heard what? **

**Peter Griffin: **_**A-well-a bird! Bird! Bird! B-bird's the word! A-well-a bird! Bird! Bird! The bird is the word….**_

**Me: …Right… Thankfully, she only has enough to last her through half the chappy. Disclaimer! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, A:TLA, Peter Griffin, Deadpool, Rorschach, or anything else recognizable. Okay? Okay. **

"_Mustang and Elmariiiiiine!_

_They make a great teeeeeeam!_

_Heeeeee's a pyromaniac!_

_Theeeeeeee Flame Alchemist!_

_Sheeeeeeeee's a psychopath!_

_Waaaaaaait! She stole my song! _

_Now I'm gonna suuuuuue!_

_Don't mess with me fooooooool!_

_IIIIII'll take eeeevery peeeny that you own!" _

"Well, what do ya think?" Elmarine asked. She was perched on Roy's desk again and Deadpool was standing in front of them with his guitar.

The door slammed open. Into the room barged another masked man. He was sporting a trench coat full of bullet holes, half of a tie, and a soaked hat.

"Rorschach?" Deadpool questioned, surprised to see the other man.

Rorschach took out a gun and shot Deadpool. He grabbed he merc's arm and dragged him out of the room, muttering "How the hell did I end up babysitting this moron?"

Roy wasn't sure what was going on, but that didn't stop him from commenting.

"_That_ is what I think of the song," he said. Elmarine frowned.

Boomshakalaka

"Suddenly, they heard something down the hall, in the dark. Oooh...It came into the torchlight. And they knew the blade of Wing - Fun was haunted! Aah-ah..."

"I think I liked 'the man with a sword for a hand' better."

"Water Tribe slumber parties must stink."

The GAang was sitting around a campfire in the woods. It was nighttime and they were telling—or attempting to tell—scary stories.

"I've got a good one!" said Ed, popping up.

"Is it about the Ham Demon?" Aang asked knowingly.

"IT'S REAL!" said Sokka.

"Why don't you guys believe us?" asked Ed.

"Because we _know_ that you're messing with us," said Katara. The two older brothers looked at one another exasperatedly.

"I've got and _actual_ true story," said Katara.

"Is this one of those 'a friend of my cousin knew some guy that this happened to' stories?" asked Sokka, always the skeptic.

"No," she replied, "It happened to Mom."

He was now convinced. She told the story of poor little Nini, and by the end everyone was holding themselves and each other. Toph scared them even more by saying that she could hear people screaming from under the mountain.

"You're probably just jumpy from the ghost stories," said Katara.

"It just stopped," said Toph.

"All right, now I'm getting scared," said Aang. They heard a voice from behind bid them hello. They all screamed.

The person turned out to be an innkeeper named Hama. She offered to let them stay at her inn.

"Yes, please."

Boomshakalaka

"Why do you keep inviting him over here?" asked Roy.

"Cuz I loves that dude," Elmarine replied.

"If you love him so much, why don't you marry him?" asked Roy, sitting on his desk next to her.

"Have you_ seen_ what's under that mask? It's a nightmare! A grotesque, unattractive nightmare!" She laughed. "I mean, I adore his personality, but _damn_."

She sighed and leaned back on her hands. Roy did the same.

"You hungry?" she asked.

"You hungry?" Roy repeated.

She leaned towards him, her brow furrowed.

"Are you mocking me?" she asked.

"Are you mocking me?" he said, copying her motions.

She quickly leaned back again, a look of shock on her face.

"You are!" she said.

Roy did the same and said "You are!"

She folded her arms and turned away from him.

"Well, quit it," she said.

"Well, quit it," Roy again copied her.

"Seriously!" she said, springing off the desk angrily.

"Seriously!" said Roy, copying her yet again.

Elmarine punched him in the stomach and he doubled over.

"I'm the only one who has a right to be annoying around here!" she said and added a muttered "Stupid human."

Roy was still doubled over in pain, but he was chuckling. She glowered and turned away from him.

"Come, Mr. Bigglesworth!" she called. The cat jumped down from the shelf where she'd been sitting and onto Elmarine's shoulders. Elmarine angrily snapped and disappeared.

Boomshakalaka

"This is a mysterious little town you have here," Sokka had said. This was true. It was indeed a mysterious little town, and in more ways than one.

Ed couldn't escape the feeling that someone was watching him. Even when he was inside, it was still there. He asked the group about it, but just at that moment, Sokka managed to open the cupboard he'd found. Out fell a bunch of creepy puppets.

"Maybe that's what you're worried about," said Sokka, sliding down the wall with his sword pointed at the puppets.

Ed looked down the hallway, still worried. He saw a dark shape move in one of the rooms.

"Ed, are you coming?" Aang asked. Detective Sokka had already started upstairs.

"You go ahead," he replied. He'd decided to make a little investigation of his own.

Aang followed his friends and Ed walked into the dark room he'd seen the figure in. He cautiously walked over to the window to open the curtains. Light poured into the room and, sitting upon the bed, was a cat. Ed smiled at his own foolishness.

"Are you what's had me so worked up?"

He walked over to the bed and sat down. The cat rubbed up against him. He began to pet it.

"Of all the normal animals to be here, it had to be cats," he said, laughing to himself. The cat purred contentedly.

"What are you doing here anyway? Do you belong to Hama?"

The cat stretched. It jumped onto a shelf near the bed. From the shelf it jumped to the window ledge, and out the window it went. He looked after it for a while, then Aang cam into the room.

"You'll never believe what Hama just told us!"

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine had decided to go out to dinner on her own. There were two things about the restaurant she'd picked that she really enjoyed. 1: They had the best damn chicken wings you will ever find, and 2: Roy and Riza were going out on a date there that night. She decided she'd have a little fun with the couple.

When she saw the two walk in, she giggled evilly and went to the kitchen. There, she chloroformed one of the waiters, took his uniform, and brought a bottle of wine to their table. Neither Roy nor Riza even looked at her. Roy just motioned for her to pour the wine. She did so and "accidentally" knocked one of the glasses over. This caused Roy and Riza to look up at her.

"Whoops! Clumsy me!" she said, smiling hugely.

Roy's eyes widened, and then narrowed. He stood up, grabbed Elmarine by her ponytail, and dragged her out the door. On the way out, she stole a chicken wing off of somebody's plate.

Once they were outside, she said "What's up, Royo?" and took a bite out of her stolen chicken wing.

"Why are you determined to ruin my life?" he asked.

"Now, Royo, I don't want to ruin your life," she replied, "Just parts of it."

"Do you think that maybe, just maybe, for _one_ night, you could leave me be? Please?"

She thought about it.

"Eh, what the hell," she decided, and disappeared in her usual way.

Roy walked back inside and the rest of his date was fun. But, by the next day, _she_ was sitting on his desk again.

Boomshakalaka

Not only was Hama a waterbender, she was a Southern waterbender. She decided to take Katara under he wing and teach her some things. Katara was all for it.

While she was off doing that, the rest of the GAang was investigating the disappearances. They heard about someone called Old Man Ding, the only one to see the spirit and live. That night, they went to pay him a visit. As they walked, Ed still had the feeling of being watched. He glanced around and saw a dark shape on a rooftop. It was the same cat as before, cleaning its paw. He paused to look at it.

"Brother?" Aang asked. Ed turned to him.

"Is something wrong?"

Ed turned back to the roof, but the cat was gone.

"No. Nothing."

Boomshakalaka

"Why, it would seem that we are all alone," said Elmarine. Roy pushed her off of his desk. Instead of crashing to the floor, she floated in front of his desk and laughed.

The door opened and in walked Furey, Breda, Havoc, Fallman, and Hawkeye. They exchanged salutes and began to talk about military stuff. Elmarine crossed her arms and blew a stray strand of hair out of her face. Luckily, for her, it was a short meeting and they were all soon gone. Roy looked over to her.

"Awwww. Is someone not having fun?" he asked sarcastically. She glared at him, causing him to smirk. She took a deep breath.

"I'm starting to feel like a freakin' Shinigami,"(1) she said

"A what?"

"Shinigami."

"And that would be…?"

"God of death."

"How pleasant."

"Tell me about it."

"So are you one?"

"Hellz to the no! Do I look like some twisted version of a rotting corpse to you?"

Roy was silent.

"Yeah! I didn't think so!"

"Then what are you? A homunculus?"

"Oh, you did _not_ just put me on the same level as those wannabes!"

"Then what are you?"

"Would you believe me if I said human?"

Roy crossed his arms and raised a sarcastic eyebrow.

"I'll take that as a 'no.'" She touched down and thought about it.

"There's not really a word for what I am, but, basically, I'm at the tippy-top of the food chain, savvy?"

Roy looked down.

"I see. So if you want to control me, you can and will."

"Bingo!"

That was it. She'd finally confessed. Well, Roy wasn't about to let her control him, no matter what she was. He glared at her and went to walk out the door. His hand was almost on the knob when he stopped short, turned around, and walked back to Elmarine against his will.

"What the hell is this?" he asked.

"Surprised? Most people are the first time. They never seem to get how powerful I really am until I reach in and take over," she said.

Roy's eyes widened. He tried to move his arms, his legs, anything. His body wouldn't obey him. He was completely under her control. This, he hadn't expected. Manipulation, of course, but this… this he wasn't prepared for.

She grinned wickedly and let him go. He collapsed to the floor, feeling weak.

"Of course, I don't usually do that. It feels like cheating," she said. Roy glared up at her from the floor. His whole body was shaking.

"That weakness will be gone in a minute," she said. Soon enough, he was able to stand again.

"Yeah. You'll be fine," she said.

Roy didn't even look at her. He just marched out the door as fast as he could and slammed it behind him. She laughed, and Roy could hear it echoing all the way down the hall.

Boomshakalaka

From Old Man Ding, the GAang had found out where the missing villagers were. They ran to the mountain and there they found a prison.

"I didn't know that spirits made prisons like this, who brought you here?" Aang asked as Toph began to release people.

"It was no spirit," said a woman.

"It was a witch," said a man.

"A witch, what do you mean?" asked Sokka.

"She seems like a normal old woman, but she controls people like some dark puppet master," said the woman.

Upon hearing the words "puppet master," it all clicked for Sokka.

"Hama!" he said angrily. Now they were all worried about Katara. They left Toph to free the prisoners and went to find her.

"How are we going to know were they are?" Ed asked. As if answering his question, he heard a soft meow. He looked towards the sound, and saw the cat from before. It was turned towards the woods and looking back at the trio.

"I think it wants us to follow it," said Aang. The cat meowed again and began to walk into the woods. When they didn't follow, it paused and looked back at them. The boys looked at one another and silently agreed to follow.

The cat was swift and led them to their friend in good time.

"We know what you've been doing, Hama!" said Sokka.

"Give up, you're outnumbered," said Aang as they got into fighting stances.

"No. You've outnumbered yourselves," said Hama. She raised her arms and the boys felt a strange sensation come over them. Suddenly, they had no control over their bodies, and were thrown forward.

Ed was still able to move his automail. He grabbed onto a tree to keep himself from moving. Aang and Sokka weren't so lucky. They were unable to keep themselves from attacking Katara, so she froze them to trees.

"Don't hurt your friends, Katara…and don't let them hurt each other."

Aang and Sokka broke out of the ice and Ed's arm felt like it was going to be pulled out of its socket. He hung on to the tree, though, refusing to let himself hurt anyone. His eyes were closed with the effort.

He heard Katara yell "No!" and it stopped. He opened his eyes to see Hama on her knees and Toph coming with the prisoners.

"You're going to be locked away forever," said one, as they put Hama in shackles.

"My work is done," she said, "Congratulations, Katara. You're a bloodbender," She cackled as Katara cried.

Down from a tree, the cat jumped onto Katara's shoulders. It rubbed its face against hers, trying to comfort the girl.

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine sighed and leaned back on her hands.

"_Si, mee Nunti. Fides suam lucrare,_"(2) she said to herself with a Cheshire grin.

She heard pacing on the other side of the door. It was Roy, thinking and worrying. She knew that she probably shouldn't have let him see her level of power, but sometimes she just couldn't help but show off. Oh, well. It didn't matter too much. Things were going smooth enough, and this time, she knew it would work.

The Cheshire grin returned, and she disappeared.

**A/N: Peter Griffin and Elmarine: **_**Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow! Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow! Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow…**_

**Me: *headdesk* **

**Winry: Since I'm nowhere in this chappy, the author said I can take apart her iPod if I do the questions, so here we go! *takes out script* What's with the cat that comes to the rescue? What is Elmarine trying to make work? Will Mustang be able to combat her power? Will Elmarine ever stop annoying her creator?**

**Elmarine: NEVER!**

**Me: NOOOOOOOOOO! **

**Winry: Stay tuned! **

**BTW: (1) Based off of Death Note Shinigami.**

**(2) Yes, my Messenger. Gain their trust. **

**Again, if any Latin scholars can find a flaw in that translation, please let me know. **

**And, yes, there are actually normal cats in the Avatar world. **


	12. Nightmares, Daydreams, and a Beating

**A/N: Guess what, guys! Elm's only in this chappie once! And only as a side joke! Enjoy the freaking out of Ed and Aang. But mostly of Aang. Yayz!**

**And, being serious for a moment, I think that we should all say a prayer (if that's your thing) for the earthquake/tsunami victims in Japan. If you are able, perhaps send a donation. This is the country that brought us FMA along with many other wonderful anime and manga, so let's give something back!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. If I did, Hughes would live. OH HUGHES! ! ! **

The cat was purring in Katara's lap. It hadn't left her side since the blood bending incident, as if it wanted to make sure she was okay. Since no one had the heart to take it away from her—not even Ed—it had become a part of the group.

Aang crawled across Appa's saddle to pet it.

"We should name her," said Katara.

"How about Milkshakes?" suggested Aang, smirking at Ed. Ed punched him in the arm.

"That's a horrible name," he said.

"I've got it!" said Sokka from the reigns. He jumped into the saddle, picked up the cat, and held her out at arms' length.

"Mrs. Kitty-Cat!" he said.

Everyone gave him a look that said "Really, Sokka? Really?" Even the cat looked unamused. Sokka frowned and gave her back to Katara.

"Whatever. I was just tossing out an idea," he said, going back to the reins.

The cat jumped out of Katara's lap and walked over to Ed. She meowed sweetly. When he gave her a scratch, she ran her tail across his hand.

"What about Nuntius?" he suggested.

"I like that one," said Katara.

"Where'd you come up with that?" Toph asked.

"I don't' know," replied Ed, "It just came to me."

Boomshakalaka

In Roy's office…

Wait…

There's nothing going on over there.

Never mind.

Boomshakalaka

The GAang had made it to the rendezvous point. Ed had fallen asleep on Appa, woke up for about five seconds when they got there, and simply fell asleep again. Nuntius curled up on his chest and fell asleep herself.

"And we're here four days ahead of schedule," said Katara.

"Wait, four days! ?" said Aang, jumping up and freaking out, "The invasion's in four days! ?"

Sokka yawned and said "Whatever. That's like…four days from now. Let's just calm down, and…" He was asleep.

Katara assured Aang that all they really needed to do was rest, so he did. Albeit uneasily.

Boomshakalaka

Yeah. Roy's just sitting there, doing his paperwork like a good little Fuhrer…

Back to the story!

Boomshakalaka

Poor Aang had been having some bad nightmares. He was far too stressed and worried.

"It's like every time I think about how stressed I am, I just end up more stressed. I'm like a big, growing snowball of nerves."

Everyone tried to help Aang out. Katara showed him some yoga moves, but that only resulted in Aang freaking out about how warm the room was. Sokka became Wang Fire, Therapist Extraordinaire! to see if Aang needed to talk his stress out. It didn't work. Neither did Toph's "back poundin'." Ed tried to remind him of all the bad guys they'd fought who were way worse than some guy who could shoot fire out of his fingertips.

"But we lost and were almost killed a whole bunch of times before we finally won and I can't use alchemy anymore and Mustang can just shoot fire from his fingertips and he killed Lust and…" Ed slapped him across the face to stop him.

"Deep breath," he instructed. Aang did so.

"Let it out." Aang did that as well. Ed then sighed and walked away, knowing he could do no more.

That night, Aang had his worst nightmare yet. After he woke up screaming, he decided that he just couldn't take them anymore.

"I'm going to stay awake straight through to the invasion."

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine appeared in my room.

Wait a minute! Where have you been?

"Toga party."

Why were you… ? You know what, I've had enough! You just march your ass right back into the story, young lady, or so help me I will put you in The Vault!

"You wouldn't!"

Don't you back-sass me!

"You're ruining my life!"

Deal with it!

"Ugh!"

Boomshakalaka

"Aang , we're all starting to get a little worried about you."

"You've been awake too long."

"And you're acting downright weird."

"This really isn't good for you, Al. You should be talking better care of yourself." Ed paused. "Wait. Did _I_ just say that to _Al_?"

Aang groaned and tried to tell them that he was fine. He quickly disproved that by trying to stop an imaginary fight between Appa and Momo, and then running off screaming.

Nuntius was watching it all from Ed's shoulders. She had categorized the whole thing as "not worth my time" as soon as the nightmares started, but she still found it immensely amusing.

"Now what?" asked Toph.

"I think I've got an idea," said Ed.

They all looked at him and he began to explain: "When Al was little, he'd have nightmares a lot. Something about the scary shadows on the walls. Whatever the reason, he'd flat-out refuse to go to sleep. When that happened, our mom made up his bed really nicely and told him he didn't need to be so scared in that way mothers do. He believed her and would go right to sleep without any nightmares after."

"How's that supposed to help us?" Toph asked.

"I know exactly how," said Sokka.

Boomshakalaka

Where am I? What am I doing here? Who are you people?

Boomshakalaka

The morning after a rather touching scene with wonderful encouraging speeches from the entire cast was the morning of the invasion. Aang woke up refreshed and ready.

"So what's your strategy for taking him down? Going to get your glow on and hit him with a little Avatar State action ?"

"I can't," Aang replied, "When Azula shot me with lightning, my 7th chakra was locked, cutting off my connection to all the cosmic energy in the Universe."

"You know what I just heard? Blah blah spiritual mumbo jumbo blah blah something about Space."

Ed smiled and gave Aang a noogie.

"Good to have you back to normal, Little Bro," he said.

"Oh no," said Katara, noticing the horizon, "Sokka, do you think the fog will delay the invasion?"

Sokka squinted, and his face broke into a grin.

"No. That is the invasion."

When the fleet landed, the GAang rushed out to greet their friends, allies, and, in Sokka's and Katara's case, family. Everyone was happy to meet Ed, especially the mechanist once Sokka told him about Ed's automail.

"Why am I always surrounded by freaks! ?" Ed shouted, pulling his arm away from the man's probing eyes.

They were all having a gay old time, until…

"Who's that?" Sokka asked. He was looking at a strange woman who'd just come off of the boat.

"A housewife," said Bato miserably, apparently in the middle of an unpleasant memory. Sokka looked confused, so Hakoda decided to introduce her properly.

"This is Izumi Curtis. When she heard that we were friends with the Avatar, she wanted to help us out. She's a very good fighter."

The GAang went up to shake hands and welcome here. That is, except for Ed and Aang. They had gone missing.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, they were here just a second ago," said Katara. Izumi smiled kindly.

"That's okay. They can't hide forever," she said sweetly. For some reason, the statement unnerved the kids.

The Duke noticed something behind a rock.

"Ed? Aang? What are you doing back there?" he asked. The brothers squeaked. They had been discovered. Izumi walked over, still smiling sweetly. This only served to terrify the boys further.

Katara, Sokka, and Toph were confused, as was everyone else. Aang was the Avatar and Ed was pretty awesome, himself. How could this woman scare them so?

"Alphonse," she said. Aang jumped.

"It's good to see you alive," she said, holding out her hand. Aang relaxed a little and took her hand.

Big mistake.

She seized hold of his wrist and flipped him. Everyone's jaws dropped.

"Alphonse!" Ed called, reaching toward his brother. Izumi kicked Ed in the face, sending him sprawling next to Aang.

"YOU IDIOTS!" she shouted, her wrath finally coming to the surface. The brothers hugged each other in fear. Izumi went on a "My idiot students!" rampage, as Ed and Aang expressed various forms of "We're sorry, Sensei!" and "Don't kill us, Sensei!"

Now the GAang understood. This must be the Sensei that Aang and Ed had talked about with so much fear and respect.

"I think I like her," said Toph.

Nuntius watched the scene from the cliff. They were all falling into place, just as her master had said. She grinned.

**A/N: Le gasp! Izumi! **

**What are Nuntuis and her master plotting? Will Elmarine and Roy make another appearance? How the heck did Izumi get there? How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? **

**Heh, try saying THAT one ten times fast! **

**Answers will be in the next chappie! Maybe! Maybe there'll just be more questions. I'm not really sure. This story has a mind of its own. I'm merely its humble host. **


	13. Fallen

**A/N: Well, that sure was a fun break from fanfiction. I just love doing school work instead of writing this story! Yay! **

**Disclaimer: The above was false. And this is not mine. Nope. **

**Okay, roll it! **

Once the beating was over, the GAang began to question Izumi's presence in their world. She leaned against a rock and began to explain.

*looks both ways cautiously* CUE THE…!

(Randomdude: *tossing and catching brick menacingly* Cue the what?)

*sweatdrop* My total and complete silence! ! !

(Randomdude: Damn straight.)

"What could a dog of the military like you possible want?" Izumi Curtis asked from the doorframe, "If you've come to recruit me, you can forget it."

"Don't worry, Mrs. Curtis, I'm not here for anything like that," Roy Mustang answered, "This is about your former students. May I come in?"

Izumi glared at him, but nodded and let him inside.

"What about those morons?" she asked, sitting down.

"Alphonse is alive," Roy explained, but Izumi wasn't buying it.

"No. He was taken because they tried the forbidden again. He's gone." There was a slight quiver in her voice, something a normal person would easily miss. But Roy was too observant for that.

"Listen, Ed…"

Izumi cut him off: "What happened messed Ed's mind up. You can't just take his word for it."

"You don't understand. I actually _saw_ him. The transmutation didn't kill him; it just sent him to an alternate universe!"

Izumi raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"I know it sounds crazy, but just let me try to explain…"

He told her about the things he'd seen in that universe and that Ed was still there. He explained about the transmutation circle in his office and how it had turned into a portal. He had begun to figure out how it worked, and he needed her help to prove his theory.

Izumi listened, and agreed to help on the condition that she would be allowed to go through.

"Those two are in need of a good beating," she'd said.

Once they got to his office, she clapped her hands, activated the circle, and was gone.

Boomshakaendofflashbacklaka

Roy looked down at the inactive circle a week after Izumi had left. He heard clapping from the other side of the room. No, it wasn't just clapping, it was a sarcastic applause. He looked up to see Elmarine sitting in his chair with her feet resting on his desk.

"You've figured it out, Royo my boyo! You're such a smarty-kins!" she said, "How'd you do it? The readers want to know!"

Roy looked back down at the circle, refusing to meet her gaze.

"I've been doing and redoing these calculations for a while now, and it has always come up with something missing. Normally, that would be due to a design flaw in the circle, but that couldn't be the case because it worked so well. Still, it needed something.

"I finally figured that what it must need was another circle. I remembered back to when Fullmetal activated it. He'd just been trying to do a simple transmutation on the floor. Then it hit me: it didn't matter what the other circle was, as long as it was inside of a human."

"Down to the last detail!" Elmarine praised, "But I'm curious, Royo, why didn't you open it yourself? You have that power."

"Yeah, but I'm not good at it. There's a chance it could rebound." He glared up at her. "You'd want that, wouldn't you, you creep?"

She smiled and took her feet off of his desk. Standing up, she walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course I don't want that, Royo. What would I do if my precious puppet was broken?" she said.

He was so disgusted at her he could hardly handle it, but lashing out now would mean she'd won. He settled on glaring and knocking her hand off of his shoulder. She just giggled. Suddenly, a cat materialized on her shoulders.

"Oh, great, now the stupid cat can do that, too!" groaned Roy.

The cat ignored him and continued with her duty. Brushing her tail across the back of Elmarine's neck, she communicated: "It's beginning." Elmarine smiled. She brought Nuntius into her arms and scratched the cat behind the ears.

"You'll have to excuse me, Royo. I have a show to get to," Elmarine said, and vanished.

This was worrisome to Roy. It wasn't what she'd said, it was how she'd said it; with some kind of sadistic glee. He stared at the empty space she had once occupied. He truly pitied whoever her "show" was.

Boomshakalaka

The submarines had made it past the Great Gates of Azulon. As Toph was vomiting into The Duke's helmet, Aang noticed that someone was missing.

"What happened to Nuntius?" he asked.

As if in answer, he heard a meow and saw the black cat looking up at him. He kneeled down and pet her, saying, "Good girl."

_Foolish humans_, she laughed in her mind.

Boomshakalaka

The eclipse had come and the invasion was in full swing. Ed and Izumi were attacking a battlement, arguing as they did so. One last insult and the battlement was finished. As Ed surveyed their handiwork, he felt something drop onto his shoulders and heard a meow.

"Nuntius? You shouldn't be here, it's dangerous," he said to the cat. She meowed again, sounding urgent, and brushed her tail across the back of his neck. A vision of his little brother lying motionless on the ground ran through Ed's mind.

"Wh-where did _that_ come from?" he gasped. Nuntius meowed again, and jumped off of his shoulders. She looked back at him with as much urgency as a cat could express, expecting him to follow her.

Things clicked in Ed's mind. His brother was in danger and he had to help. In the back of his mind, there was something nagging at him to not listen. He pushed that away. If there was even the smallest possibility that what he had just seen was true, he was going to act on it.

Because he couldn't let Aang get hurt again.

He would never forgive himself if he did.

Boomshakalaka

Ed ran through the underground tunnels as fast as he could. He darted around turns and ducked magma. He hoped against hope that he would get there in time.

The cat rounded another corner and Ed came face-to-face with a retreating Azula. Behind her he could see Aang, just as fine as ever. He let out the breath he had been holding in and focused on the firebender in front of him. He transmuted his arm into a blade and got into stance. Azula noticed the metal attached to Ed and smiled.

She moved faster than Ed could react, shooting a bolt of lightning directly at his automail blade. It was the perfect conductor. The lighting seared through Ed's body, and Aang's eyes widened in horror as he watched his brother drop to the ground, unmoving and silent.

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine sat alone in a small theater, watching the scene unfold on the screen before her. She was eating popcorn and giggling every now and then.

"'Lord, what fools these mortals be!'" she said.

Her Nuntius appeared in her lap. She stroked the cat and chuckled evilly. Now there was nothing in her way.

**A/N: Le gasp! Ed! No!**

**What are they going to do now? Has Ed actually… you know… (sob)? HOW COULD ELMARINE DO SUCH A THING! ? !**

**Elmarine: Dude, it's your story. You're the one who made me this evil. Technically, it's your fault. **

**Me: Well… You can't… That's not…. (frantically looks for flaw in logic)**

**Ed Fangirls: GET HER! ! ! **

**Me: (runs like hell)**

**Elmarine: (sigh) I suppose I should call the doctor again. (evil grin) Or maybe not! Muhahahahaha! EVIL! **

**(Seriously, though. What happened to Ed is horrible and not funny.) **


	14. The Key

**A/N: Well… Osama Bin Laden is dead. But Ed is too, and who is more important right now? That's right! Ed! I mean, come on! If Edo wasn't more important to you, you'd be reading the news instead of this stupid story! ONWARD! ! ! **

**Disclaimer: I really do care more about the fictional world than the real one. I'm not crazy *shifty eyes*. I don't own these characters, except for my OCs, I'm writing this during Religion class, and THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!**

The first thing Ed noticed was the whiteness of it all. A vast sea of pure white. But… no, it wasn't the whiteness of The Gate. It was different, somehow. It seemed to swirl as if it was some kind of mist. He could feel it as it moved around him, both warm and cool at the same time. Ed liked it. It felt nice. Peaceful, relaxing, blissful even. He didn't know where he was, but, for some reason, he didn't care. He just wanted to stay there and…

Something grabbed his wrist and began to pull. Pull him away from the mist. When whatever-it-was pulled him out, he felt something like intense pain, only on a deeper level. He gritted his teeth and fell to his knees.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure it must hurt to be pulled out of Heaven like that," he heard a gentle voice say. Ed groaned. The pain had dulled a little, but still. He looked up to see who'd been speaking to him. It was an old man with a white mustache and an arrow tattooed on his bald head.

"Just who are you, pal? And what do you mean by 'Heaven'?" Ed asked.

"My name is Gyatso," said the man. Ed looked at him with a confused expression.

"Hang on a second, Al told us you were dead," he said.

"So are you, in a manner of speaking," said Gyatso.

Ed's eyes widened. Dead? How could he be… ? But then he remembered the shock he'd gotten from Azula. Ed lowered his eyes and bowed his head. He'd failed his little brother yet again.

"Ed?" he heard a voice call.

It was Aang's voice. The sound seemed to be coming from below him. He looked down and noticed he was ankle-deep in some kind of water. As he looked, what he saw was not his reflection, but the scene that he'd left moments before. Aang was kneeling beside a body—Ed's body—with tears brimming in his eyes.

"Brother! Please! You have to wake up! Ed!"

"Al!" Ed called, fully intent on going to his brother. All he did was cause the water to ripple and the image to disappear.

"Al! Alphonse!"

Gyatso placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Edward, you need to calm down and listen to me," he said, "I want to help bring you back to him."

"You can't," Ed said immediately, clenching his fists, "People don't come back from the dead. Not ever.

"Ah, but you're not entirely dead," said Gyatso. Ed turned around to face him.

"What?" he asked, "But you said…"

"I said 'in a manner of speaking,'" said Gyatso, "Let me explain: In life, I was a monk, which entitles me to be a spirit guardian in the afterlife. As such, I have a certain amount of power. While it's true that your spirit has been severed from your body, I have been able to keep your body alive. What you need to do is find a way to reconnect your body and soul."

"How am I gonna do that?" Ed asked.

"I'm not sure. I'd suggest going to the spirit Koh. But you mustn't show any emotion to him, or he will steal your face," Gyatso replied.

"The hell kind of place is this?"

"The Spirit World."

Ed paused and looked around him. The whole place looked like some kind of ethereal swamp. It was all so foreign and strange. It gave Ed a feeling he couldn't quite describe.

"You should get going. I can only keep your body alive for so long," said Gyatso. Ed nodded and bowed to the man.

SpiritWorldYeah

Ed came to a large, gnarled tree. There was a hole in the middle that led into a cave.

"Face stealer, huh?" he muttered to himself, peering into the cave. He took a deep breath.

_No emotion,_ he thought, _No emotion._

He walked into the cave. It was dark and creepy, but that didn't bother Ed much. He'd been in dark and creepy places plenty of times before. What unnerved him was the feeling of being watched, and someone was most definitely watching him. All of a sudden, a giant, centipede-like creature came out of the shadows. There was something out-of-place about the creature: a human face, painted white with black circles around the eyes and ruby red lips.

"Welcome," it said. This must be Koh, the Face Stealer. Ed didn't say a word and kept his face blank of emotion.

"Well, well, well. A human soul. It's not very often many of those come around," Koh continued, observing Ed. It blinked, and its face changed to that of a young man.

"Let me guess: You're here looking for The Key," it said.

"What's The Key?" Ed asked. The spirit blinked again, changing to an old man.

"When a human dies, the body and soul separate and the body locks itself so the soul is unable to return. The Key has the power to reopen that connection, assuming the body is able to accept it," Koh explained. Ed almost smiled. That was exactly what he was looking for.

"Where do I find it?" he asked. The spirit blinked again, reverting back to the first face.

"It resides in the darkness. But you should know; it's very dangerous in there." The spirit blinked once more and the face of a blue-nosed monkey appeared, laughing.

SpiritWorldYeah

Ed had climbed a tall tree and was surveying the area, mumbling to himself: "Goddamned giant bug. All vague and mysterious. Shoulda' crushed it…"

He stopped, his gaze now fixed upon a forest of deformed trees. Not only did the forest shade the ground beneath it, but the shadows extended a few feet above where the branches ended, creating a sort of black hold in the Spirit World. Ed figured that this was the place he'd start.

SpiritWorldYeah

This was no mere darkness.

This darkness was advanced a level above anything that touched the earth. It had a substance to it, and Ed could feel it weighing down on his soul. The air was still and cold, as if frozen. It chilled Ed to his very core. Here, nightmares were real. Here, shadows could devour. And here, the Fullmetal Alchemist was afraid.

For this was no mere darkness.

Ed paused and leaned against a tree, trying to catch the breath he shouldn't need.

But this was no mere darkness.

A crooked branch made its way towards him. He jumped away just in time. The branch's fellows soon joined in the assault. Ed clapped his hands, but nothing happened. Alchemy didn't work in the Spirit World.

Ed frantically sprung out of the way as more branches sped towards him, but he couldn't dodge them all. They began to rip apart Ed's soul like it was paper. Still, Ed dodged and ran.

No matter how far he got, there were more trees ready to tear at him. He was getting to a point where the pain—a thousand times worse than when the body is torn apart—was too great, when the trees suddenly stopped. Two crystal orbs appeared before him.

"Who?" a voice demanded. It was deep, gravely, and ancient. Somehow, in his torn and fading state, Ed managed to utter his name.

"Why have you come?" asked the voice.

"The Key," Ed replied.

The creature the voice belonged to began to glow. A soft, white light in the crushing darkness. It was a dragon. A dragon three times the size of Fang or any other dragon, for that matter. Its armored skin seemed translucent, as if the light it was emitting was coming from beneath the surface.

It spoke again: "Many others have come seeking The Key before you. What makes you any more worthy than they?"

Ed thought about it. He remembered that the Avatar had a special connection to the Spirit World.

"I'm with the Avatar," he said. The dragon laughed darkly.

"So were many others. The Avatar is just another human. That will get you no special treatment here," it said.

"Damn it all! You have to give it to me! I have to get back!" said Ed.

"Why? Is your family's honor in danger? Has your pride been broken?"

"I don't give a damn about useless shit like honor and pride! I promised my little brother that I was going to be there for him! I promised I'd protect him no matter what! I can't just abandon him now! Not like this. So take whatever you want from me! Just don't leave him to suffer!"

The crystal eyes softened.

"You live for another," it stated. Ed glared up at the dragon, his eyes full of determination. The glowing creature straightened up to its full height.

"You are worthy," it said. It opened its mouth and shot silver flames at Edward. He cringed for a moment, but found that the flames didn't burn him. Instead, he felt as if there was some kind of barrier melting around him. He looked back to the dragon.

"You're The Key, aren't you?" he asked. The Key said not a word, but continued to do its job. A puddle formed beneath Ed, and he slipped back onto the human plane.

Boomshakalaka

Aang was crying again. It had been a couple of days since Ed had been shot. Sometimes Aang would be fine, and others he'd break down completely. This was one of the latter.

He'd hidden himself away in a corner of the Air Temple where no one could reach him. He didn't want his friends to find him. If they did, they were just going to try to comfort him and tell him that everything was okay. That Ed was going to be fine, even though they all knew otherwise.

Sure, Ed was physically alive. He was breathing and his heart was beating, but, somehow, he just wasn't there anymore. They couldn't explain it, but they knew he was gone. Katara knew especially. While she was healing him, she couldn't feel any energy coming from him. She was afraid that Ed was never going to wake up and she couldn't imagine how much worse off Aang would be if that happened.

They were beginning to lose hope, when one day, during a half-hearted healing session, Katara felt something. It was as if some kind of gate had opened and Ed came flooding back in. He didn't wake up, of course, but that was fine. His body still needed to heal more before that happened. The point was, he'd come back. He was with them once again and he was going to be fine.

Aang was done crying and was now training with Zuko **(A/N: Yes, they'd already had their whole "Sun Warriors" trip. It took Ed a while to move around the Spirit World)**. Katara ran up to him. They paused their training.

"You have to come quick!" she said to Aang excitedly. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him to Ed's room.

When he got there, he could feel it. Ed was back. He was really back! Aang just stood and stared for a while. Then he smiled with happy tears in his eyes and said, "Welcome back, Brother."

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine sat stark upright. She had been lounging on Roy's couch in a very self-satisfied way when she felt it. It was The Key accepting a human, and she had a horrible feeling in her gut that it was the human she'd just managed to kill.

"Something wrong?" Roy asked hopefully.

"_Nuntius!_" she shouted. The cat appeared on Roy's desk.

"_Inspici eum!_"(1) she commanded angrily. The cat nodded and disappeared.

Elmarine stood up and began to pace. Her Nuntius returned shortly after, bearing the bad news. Elmarine shook with anger. That boy was becoming a real thorn in her side. Curse her need to be entertained! She should have just left them alone!

No! No, she had a plan and she was going to stick to the damn thing! She had to incapacitate all the former "sacrifices." Hoenheim was dead, Izumi was imprisoned, she was going to use Roy for her own advantages, and Alphonse didn't count anymore. Since he'd turned into the Avatar, she needed him.

That just left Ed. She'd tried to kill him off by using his need to protect his brother. Obviously, that had not worked. Ah, well. At least he was still injured and unconscious. That should be enough for the time being.

**A/N: Whohooooo! Ed's alive! Thanks Gyatso!**

**Gyatso: Any time! **

**Me: So, will Ed wake up? What is Elmarine's evil plot and when will it climax?**

**Elmarine: They get it. I have an evil plot and it's taking a long time to develop. Stop asking that damn question.**

**Me: Will she…?**

**Elmarine: And before you ask **_**that**_** question, yes I will continue to try and kill Ed. Get off my back. **

**Me: Jeez. You're a real killjoy today. **

**Elmarine: Bastard fucked with my plot! **

**Me: Okay, dude. Chill. Chill. **

***whispers to the side* I think she's PMSing. **

**Elmarine: Shut the fuck up! I am not you fucking fucker! **

**Me: Think of the more sensitive audience! I apologize for her profanity. Oh, and by the way… (1) Latin for "Check them!"**


	15. Foiled

**A/N: Get up, Elm. It's time for the fanfic. **

**Elmarine: Go away! I'm trying to dream of evil! *dives back under covers***

**Me: *sigh* You give me no choice! *jumps in bed and falls asleep next to her***

**Roy: They're up all night, plotting the enslavement of the entire human race, and then sleep ALL day. They're like bats. Evil, blood-sucking, vampire bats. **

**Me and Elmarine: *jump up and hiss* **

**Roy: Don't do that, you psychos! **

**Me: Haha! Disclaimer time!**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned it, but I don't. And you know that because I've been telling you for 15 chapters now. Why can't you just leave me alone? Don't you know how much it hurts me to say this every. Single. Time! *super cry***

Ed opened his eyes. He moaned a little when he sat up. His wounds still hurt. He looked around and realized he had no idea where he was. The room was mostly red, and out an open window he could see that it was daytime. Where-ever-he-was had a good view of the beach.

Someone Ed had never seen before waked by his open door. He wore Fire Nation clothes and had a scar over his left eye. He looked into the room and saw Ed sitting up.

"You're awake," he stated.

"Who the hell are you?" Ed asked.

"Don't worry. I'm on your side. Let me got get everybody," he said and left the room.

When he returned, the whole GAang was following him, plus some girl Ed had never met. Aang tacked him with a hug.

"Brother! You're awake!" he said happily.

"Al. Ouch," Ed moaned. Aang backed away quickly, not wanting to hurt his brother.

"Sorry!" he said.

"Good to have you back, Metalbutt," said Toph.

"We were actually starting to get worried," said Sokka, his arm around the girl.

"How are you feeling?" asked Katara.

"I'll live," said Ed, messaging his shoulder.

"You're such an idiot, Brother!" said Aang with worry in his voice, "Why did you follow us into the bunker?"

Ed thought back to his reasoning on that point. It took him a while to remember Nuntius and the vision, as his head was still fuzzy. He knew the vision had been false and had nearly cost him his life. Then he thought back to the discovery of the Philosopher's Stone from Combustion Man. That was the last time they had seen him and just after that, Nuntius appeared.

"Where's the cat?" he asked angrily.

"Oh, leave the cat alone, Brother. Besides, you haven't answered my question," said Aang.

"_She'll_ answer it," Ed replied, "Or did she already disappear?"

"Now that I think about it, she _did_ disappear for a while," said Sokka.

"Where is she now?" Ed asked.

As it happened, she was walking by Ed's room at that moment. She took a note to tell her master that Ed was awake. When he saw her, he smiled.

"Come here girl," he called in a pleasant tone. She needed to keep her cover, so, even though she was upset that he was awake, she jumped onto his lap. Ed stroked her and she purred.

"'Nuntius'? Your name means 'messenger' in Latin, doesn't it?" Ed mused. The cat stopped purring. Had she been discovered?

"Whose messenger are you, you spy?" he asked. Nuntius tensed. It would appear that she had been. She had to get back to her master and…

But Ed grabbed her tail. She was now unwillingly showing him a picture of her master. She hissed at him. This was not good. Her master was going to skin her alive. She brought out her claws and slashed Ed's hand. Once she was free of his grip, she teleported away.

Everyone stared at the spot the cat had just been. They all turned to Ed.

"She can send things into people's minds by touching them with her tail," Ed explained, "She led me to the bunker using a false image of you getting hurt, Al. I think she's working for someone who's trying to kill us."

"It could be Azula. I wouldn't put it past her," said the boy Ed had never met.

"I ask again: Who the hell are you?" Ed asked.

"Oh! Almost forgot to make introductions," said Sokka, "Ed, this is Zuko. He used to chase us all over trying to capture us, but he's good now and is teaching Aang fire bending."

"It's nice to meet you," said Zuko, holding out his hand. Ed took it, smiling.

"Has anyone threatened you yet?" he asked.

"Katara did say she'd kill me," Zuko replied. Ed chucked lightly.

"Well, I won't kill you, but, if you do hurt my brother in any way, I will beat the fucking shit out of you. Only when you're lying on the floor, bleeding profusely, mutilated beyond all recognition, and begging for death, will I consider it," Ed said, his smile and cheery tone never faltering, and the gleam in his eyes dead serious.

Zuko whimpered a little. Not only because the threat was absolutely terrifying, but also because Ed was grasping his hand rather tightly.

"Brother, quit it," said Aang.

"I just want to make sure he knows what he's dealing with," said Ed, letting go of Zuko. Once he was released, Zuko silently backed into the corner of the room furthest from Ed, rubbing his hand.

"I think he gets it," said Toph.

"Okay…" Sokka began uncomfortably, "Uh… And this lovely lady is Suki. She's from an island called Kyoshi and is part of an elite group of warriors there. I just rescued her from a Fire Nation prison a while ago and that's why she's here with us. That, and I love her!" Sokka gave her a big kiss on the cheek. She smiled and playfully pushed him away.

"I've heard a lot about you," she said to Ed, holding out her hand. Ed shook it, more gently this time, and turned back to the rest of the group.

"Where are we anyway?" he asked.

"The Firelord's summer home on Ember Island," Aang replied.

"Right. Because that's the smartest place to be when the _Firelord_ _is the one after us_," Ed said sarcastically.

"My family hasn't come here in years," said Zuko from the other side of the room, "It's the least likely place anyone would look."

"Wait, you're from the Firelord's family?" Ed asked. His opinion of Zuko was just getting worse and worse.

"Yeah, but he's got the same issues with his father as you have with ours," said Aang.

"He _did_ burn my face, banish me, and make my mother disappear," said Zuko, still on the other side of the room (Ed can be quite scary when he wants to be).

Ed thought about that. Taking into consideration how much he despised Hoenheim, and putting that same weight on the Fire Nation prince, he supposed he could trust the guy a little. However, he was still on probation in Ed's mind.

Ed shifted in his seat a bit. He must have accidentally moved something the wrong way because pain shot through his body, causing him to cringe.

"Time for a healing session," said Katara. Everybody else walked out.

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine was pacing angrily. Her Nuntius had just told her the news and the cat was now trying very hard to sink into Roy's desk. Roy, on the other hand, was ignoring them both.

"_Damni eum!_"(1) she exclaimed, punching a hole in the wall.

This caused the cat try and sink even lower into the desk and Roy to say, "Have some respect for other people's property!"

Elmarine didn't reply. She simply went back to her angry pacing. She thought about Edward. He was smart, strong, and lucky. In Elmarine's opinion, those were the worst qualities for a human to have. She couldn't just outright kill him on her own. That felt like cheating. Elmarine was a lot of things: a liar, a manipulator, a psycho, but she was no cheater, damn it!

She paced and thought and paced and thought. She needed to separate the Elrics, but how?

Boomshakalaka

Ed was sitting outside of the beach house with Katara and Toph, watching Zuko train Aang. He'd been feeling a lot better, thanks to Katara's healing abilities and his high tolerance for pain.

Sokka and Suki walked up to them with a poster, boasting about how there was a play about the lot of them. The group decided to go to it.

"This is the kind of wacky time wasting nonsense I've been missing!"

Boomshakalaka

Um… Uh… Ahem! Continuing!

Boomshakalaka

When they arrived at the theater, Ed, Suki, and Sokka sat behind Toph, Katara, Zuko, and Aang. Aang had wanted to sit next to Katara, but Zuko beat him to it.

"Guru," Ed whispered in his ear. Aang blushed.

The play began with Sokka and Katara vehemently protesting that the actors were portraying them wrong. Everyone else giggled because they thought they were being portrayed perfectly.

Next was Aang's entrance.

"That's not what I'm like! And I'm not a woman!" he stated upon seeing the act_ress_ playing him. Everyone was trying to suppress their laughter and Ed nearly reopened his wounds laughing as hard as he did.

"'Laughter is the best medicine' my ass," he muttered when the pain hit him.

After many more hilarious performances, it was time for an intermission. Ed and Toph walked out of the theater together, arms slung across each other's shoulders and laughing their butts off. The rest of the GAang walked out behind them, looking miserable. They sat down on the steps and complained.

"Listen, friends. It's obvious that the playwright did his research. I know it must hurt but what you're seeing up there on that stage is the truth," said Toph, as Ed nodded in agreement behind her.

The second act of the play began, and it was Toph's turn to enter. She was very excited.

"Wait a minute, I sound like… a guy. A really buff guy," she said, using her pinkie to try and clear out her ear.

"Well Toph, what you hear up there is the truth. It hurts, doesn't it ," said Katara, smiling smugly.

"Are you kidding me ? I wouldn't have cast it any other way," said Toph.

"Right on!" laughed Ed. They bumped fists.

The play came to the scene beneath Ba Sing Se. Aang left during the part between Katara and Zuko while the rest stayed until intermission.

While Katara made her way outside, looking for Aang, Suki asked Ed if he was okay. He had a blank look in his eyes and didn't hear her at first, so she asked a second time.

"I'm fine," he lied.

"It's about the lightning scene, isn't it?" Suki guessed. Ed looked down and sighed.

"I know it wasn't a very good portrayal, but…" he started, but couldn't really find the words to finish. Sokka slung an arm across his shoulders.

"Hey, you got struck by Azula, too, so that evens it out!" he said, trying to make Ed feel better. Ed let out a small laugh that held no humor.

"It doesn't," he said, shrugging Sokka's arm off, "It really doesn't." He walked away with his head hung and his hands in his pockets.

He ended up walking by a doorway to an outdoor balcony and saw Aang kissing Katara.

"I just said that I was confused!" she said pulling away, "I'm going inside." She walked out, not even noticing Ed.

"I'm such an idiot!" Aang said, hitting himself in the head. He leaned on the balcony rail and looked to the beach angrily. Ed joined him and placed his hand on his little brother's head.

"Just give her some time. She'll come around," Ed advised. Aang lowered his head to the railing.

"What if… What if she just doesn't like me?" he asked. Ed laughed.

"And who do you think she'll choose? That freak, Zuko?" Ed turned to Aang, "You're probably the nicest person I've ever met, Al. Any girl would want you. Remember the Xingese rice grain?" Aang laughed a little at that.

"You really think so?" he asked. Ed nodded.

"Come on, let's go back inside," he said.

When they walked back into the theater, it was time for Ed's entrance. Stage!Sokka was crying about his boomerang, when suddenly, a small, red blur jumped out from back stage.

"Never fear! For I, the Fullmetal Alchemist, can fix anything!"

"How convenient!" said Stage!Katara.

Ed was speechless, his jaw to the floor. The rest of the GAang were holding their sides in laughter.

"I think it broke Ed's brain," said Sokka, trying to control himself. As soon as Ed recovered from the initial shock, his anger came to a boil. He would have jumped off the balcony to get to the stage had his friends not been able to catch him.

"HOW COULD THEY CAST THAT KID AS ME! ? ! HE'S FUCKING 10! ! !" he ranted.

"Calm down, Brother," laughed Aang. Another wave of pain shot through Ed, so he sat down, still fuming.

The play said nothing about Ed and Aang being brothers, and the rest of it was pretty simple: the invasion happened, Ed "died," Zuko joined the GAang, and in the final scene, the Fire Nation conquered the world.

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine was finished being angry. She was never one for grudges. There was no fun in being mad for so long. Heck, she was never one for anger in general. It just pissed her off when people didn't die when she killed them.

She was petting a very on edge black cat and laughing at the play she was watching.

"I love it when writers make fun of themselves!" she said. She laughed more and

"You're ruining it."

Shaddap!

**A/N: Roy: So, there you go. Chapter 15. You're probably wondering: Roy? Why are you doing the author's note? Shouldn't the author be doing that? Well, if you'll look over there, you're question will be answered. **

**Me: ZZZzzzzZZZZzzzZZZ**

**Roy: Yup, she's asleep. That's all she ever does anymore. **

**Elmarine: Summer kicks ass!**

**Roy: You're drunk.**

**Elmarine: You're sexy! *passes out***

**Roy: Ahem. Anyway… Will Aang ever get Katara? Will Fullmetal start trusting Zuko? Will Elmarine get her undeserved revenge? Will Fullmetal stop shrinking?**

**Ed: YOU BASTARD! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICROSCOPIC GRAIN OF DUST! ? ! **

**Roy: Stay tuned! XD **

**BTW: (1) "Damn him!" in Latin. (Sorry I didn't put that in earlier)**


	16. The Phantom Menace Revealed

**A/N: We're back-attack-alacka! **

**Elmarine: Whoooooo! And I'm not being beat with a crowbar anymore!**

**Me: Yeah, a bunch of us got together and made a piñata out of her. **

**Ed: It kicked ass. **

**Me: Yes. Yes it did. **

**Elmarine: It did not you *profanity censored* ! **

**Me: Anyways, disclaimer tiiiiiiime!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. I don't even exist. I'm just a figment of your imagination. Why, yes, you are crazy. How did you know?**

The GAang was having a beach party and Ed was almost completely healed. Randomly, Zuko ambushed them. For a while, Aang and Zuko fought, but Aang finally air-blasted him down where Ed was waiting. He grabbed the front of the firebenders's shirt and pinned him against a nearby tree. Hard. He was shaking with anger, pure hatred shining in his eyes. This scared Zuko, but he still needed to make his point.

"How can you sit around having beach parties when Sozin's Comet is just three days away! ?" he said. They all explained about how Aang was going to fight the Firelord after the comet. Ed remained quiet and continued to hold him against the tree.

"You're wrong. It's about to get worse than you can even imagine." He explained about the war room and his father's plan for the world.

"I know you're scared. And I know that you're not ready to save the World. But if you don't defeat the Fire Lord before the comet comes, there won't be a World to save anymore," Zuko said. Aang sighed.

"Let him go, Brother," he said. Ed couldn't believe this. This guy—who'd just attacked them, by the way—was telling Aang to do something he wasn't ready for. This was something that could kill him, and he was just accepting it?

"To hell with this world!" he said angrily, dropping Zuko.

"Brother, I have a duty to uphold…" Aang began.

"No, you don't!" Ed cut him off, "It's not like you belong here!"

"…Ed…"Aang said quietly, taken aback.

"You don't!" Ed continued, "You belong back in Amestris with me and Winry and everybody else! Why are you wasting your time dying for this place?"

"How can you be so selfish?" Aang asked, getting angry, "There are people here who need me!"

"There are people here who can take are of themselves! This isn't our problem, Al!" said Ed.

"Yes it is! And I'm going to help these people whether you like it or not!" said Aang. They glared at one another.

Ed turned and stormed off, saying, "Fine then! Die for this hellhole!" as he went.

Aang glared after Ed for a few more seconds, before storming off in the opposite direction.

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine was sitting atop the roof of the Firelord's summer home. She was lying on her stomach with her head propped up in her hands and eating fire flakes, enjoying Aang and Ed's argument.

"I love this show!" she said to herself. Maybe she wouldn't have to do anything, after all. But, no, that was just wishful thinking. The point was, at that moment, Ed was all alone.

Boomshakalaka

Ed walked down a narrow trail. He'd begun to realize what he'd just said, and he felt horrible about it.

He heard a rustling in a tree. He spun around and it was silent. He continued walking the way he had been when he heard it again, this time accompanied by a girlish giggle. This time, he didn't turn around.

"Okay, I know you're up there," he said. A girl tumbled out of the tree. She had long, black hair that was pulled back in two braids. She was wearing a short, red tank top with a matching skirt. She was a little shorter than Ed (**A/N: Legasp! The impossible! Ed: Bitch! *kills* Me: *dies*)** and definitely younger. She smiled up at him.

"I like your arm, mister," she said, pointing to Ed's right. He realized he was still shirtless from the beach party. Not smart. He decided not to think too much about it just now. She was just a little kid, after all.

"What's a little girl like you doing out here, all alone?" he asked.

"I can't find my mommy and daddy," she said, looking down. Ed placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Where did you see them last?" he asked, smiling. The girl brightened up.

"You're gonna help me find them?" she asked, excited. Ed nodded. She squealed with happiness, took his hand, and led him off.

Boomshakalaka

Ed didn't show up for drills that day. Aang had stopped being angry not long after Ed had stormed off. He knew that Ed was just worried and that he said stupid thing when he was worried. Now he was worrying Aang. He shouldn't be gone this long. Not only that, but Aang really need to talk to him. He still wasn't sure about what he was supposed to do about the Firelord.

"Brother, where are you?" he asked, looking in the direction Ed had gone.

Boomshakalaka

When Ed woke up, he found himself tied to a chair and in a strange place. His right arm was gone, as was his left leg. He looked around and saw them in a corner with a black cat standing on them.

"Nuntius," he growled. She ignored him and liked her paw.

"Don't ignore our guest, darling!" said a voice. Nuntius and Ed turned towards the doorframe. There stood the woman Ed had seen in Nuntius's vision.

"Who are you? Why are you trying to kill me?" Ed asked.

"Hey! I was still making my dramatic entrance!" she complained, "And just because of that, I won't answer your questions." Ed raised an eyebrow. The woman in front of him was pouting like a child. _This_ was the person trying to kill him?

"You've got to be kidding me," he said.

"I kid you not. Now prepare to suffer the wrath of this world's equivalent of a Rancor!" she declared. She shoved his automail on and pushed him down a hole. He laid there for a few seconds, pushing the pain of the reconnection out of his mind. When he sat up he saw a big, iron door opening slowly. He could hear the woman's maniacal laughter as a giant hippo-dile came charging at him.

Boomshakalaka

"Brother! What happened to you?" Aang asked. Ed had returned with quite a few claw marks and blood running down the right side of this face. Ed thought about his defeat of the hippo-dile and the events thereafter:

"_I am your father!"_

"…_Wha?"_

"_Join me and together we shall rule the galaxy as father and son!"_

"_Yeah… I think I'll pass."_

"_You cannot resist the power of the Dark Side!" _

"_Okay, I'm leaving now." _

"You don't want to know," he said, "Look, Al, I'm sorry about what I said earlier."

"It's okay, Brother, I forgive you. I know you're just worried," said Aang. The two smiled and bumped fists.

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine crashed onto the floor. From where, Roy didn't know nor did he care. He kept doing his paperwork, trying to ignore her.

Wait… This was bad! He wanted to do his paperwork more than he wanted to acknowledge her existence!

She walked up to his desk and leaned her face really close to his, smiling like a maniac. This went on for a couple of minutes until Roy finally couldn't take it anymore.

"What?" he asked angrily, looking up at her.

"I learned something today!" she said, standing up straight with a declarative finger pointed towards the sky, "Alchemists are equivalent to Jedi in this world."

"…Wha?'"

"Strong with the force, you are!"

Roy lowered his eyelids and went back to work.

**A/N: Will Ed ever get over his anger issues? Will the worrying end? Will Elmarine and her ridiculous plan to kill Ed be foiled? Why has no one interrupted me yet?**

**All: ZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZ**

**Me: Come on! I'm not that boring and rambly and blah, blah, blah! *gets hit with brick***

**RandomDude: Shut up, Beotch! **


	17. Fruition

**A/N: Uhhhhhhggg… What happened last night? *looks over and sees RandomDude sleeping with his brick* Oh yeah. That's right. Anywhos… ARE YOU READY TO GET PSYCHED! **

**All: Yeah! **

**Me: ARE YOU READY TO GET CRAZY!**

**All: Yeah!**

**Me: ARE YOU READY FOR THE MOST ACTION-PACKED, SPOILERIFIC, CLIFF HANGER ENDING, EVIL PLOT COMPLETING, NEW CHAPPIE OF RETURN TRIP THAT IS "FRUITION" ! ? !**

**All: YEAHHH! ! ! **

**Me: THAN WHAT ARE YOU READING MY TYPING IN CAPS FOR? ON WITH THE DISCLAIMER! ! ! ! **

**Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own it. But I've already gotten you so pumped for the story that you're not even reading this. And if you are, kudos to you! **

The day of the comet was coming and Aang had not yet come to terms with what he was going to have to do.

"You guys really don't get it, do you?" Ed asked the group once Aang was gone.

"What's there to get? He's a bad guy and he needs to die," Sokka replied.

"You can't take killing someone so lightly," Ed said, "No matter how bad the guy is or how much your life depends on it, it's a hard thing to do. And it… haunts you."

"Yeah? Well what course of action would you suggest then?" Zuko shot back.

"You just keep asking me to hurt you," Ed growled at him.

"Come on, Ed. Please," Katara said. Ed sighed.

"You don't have to kill someone to incapacitate them," he explained, "Believe me, I know, I've done it before." They were all silent a moment as they looked up towards Aang's room.

"Hey, what about that chick that's trying to kill us?" Toph asked, "Do you think we should worry about her?" Ed thought about it for a minute.

"I really can't say," he concluded, "I mean, she's insane, that much is clear, and I think that she only wants me dead for some reason, but I can't really figure out why."

Boomshakalaka

"It's coming! It's coming!" Elmarine sang while springing from couch to couch in Roy's office. She flipped off one of them and plopped onto his desk.

"Guess what I did!" she said. Roy didn't answer her, so she told him.

"I called all the state alchemists to Central!"

"What? ! How?" Now Roy was mad. Those were _his_ subordinates and she had no right!

"I told them that it was a direct order from you," she explained, "They'll all be in the courtyard tomorrow and I'll be telling you what to order them to do."

"NO! I don't take orders from you!" Roy felt himself loose control of his body.

"Oh, but Royo, you don't have much of a choice," she said, and evil grin gracing her lips.

Boomshakalaka

"Doesn't exist"? What the hell did that mean? Ed could think of only one explanation: he'd gone home. But that wasn't like Aang at all. He wouldn't just disappear. Maybe he was forced, but going through The Gate was costly, and no one in this world knew alchemy, so where could he be?

"Hey, Metalbutt!" Toph called, punching Ed's flesh arm. He snapped out of his revere.

"Quit zoning and let's go," she said.

Ed looked up. The Shirshu had found someone's scent and the GAang was going to follow it. Ed hopped on Appa and hoped his brother was okay.

Boomshakalaka

Elmarine had always been amazed by how easily people trusted her. Then again, when one was wearing the form of a little girl, people don't usually assume there's much malicious intent.

She took a deep breath. It smelled wonderful, the air here, still thick with the blood of the freshly murdered. She looked down at her kill; a young Earth Kingdom couple. They had found her on the side of the road, crying for her parents, and had stupidly helped her "find them."

It had been a long time since she'd killed someone with her own hands and it felt good to do it again. The souls of the two now belonged to her, as did the soul of every person she'd killed, whether it be directly or indirectly. All she needed now was access to The Gate and they were hers to control.

It was time. The Lion Turtle who she had tricked into telling Aang the secrets of spiritbending had brought to young Avatar back to shore. Alone. And the battle was beginning.

Boomshakalaka

Ed let out the breath he'd been holding in. Aang was okay, at least for the time being. He'd have to ask him where he went, but after the battle. Right now, he had to finish helping destroy the air ships.

The group in the ships looked on as a bright light erupted from the area where Aang and the Firelord were fighting. No one had a clue what was going on, but it looked pretty damn powerful.

When they went down to congratulate Aang on his victory, Ed noticed something in the sky. It must have been some residue of that thing Aang had done.

"What exactly did you do?" Ed asked.

"I learned there was another way to defeat him and restore balance. I took his bending away," Aang answered. Everyone widened their eyes in surprise.

"Wow, who taught you that ?" Toph asked.

"A giant Lion Turtle," Aang answered.

"There's no end to the freaky shit in this world, is there?" Ed asked. The rest of the group just laughed.

Suddenly, the rift Ed had noticed in the sky exploded. Long, black tendrils came out of it, heading straight for Aang. Ed acted without thinking and jumped in front of his brother. The tendrils caught him instead and began to pull him up towards the hole in the sky. Aang grabbed Ed's right arm and tried to pull him back down. Both boys knew what this was. The Gate had come for them.

Ed saw some of the tendrils going for Aang again, so he let go of his little brother's hand. Aang would have none of that. He clung to his brother, crying, "Come one, Ed! Grab onto me!"

Ed smiled apologetically and clapped his hands, transmuting his automail off. Aang fell back and Ed was carried up. The rift swallowed him and closed.

Boomshakalaka

A few minutes earlier, in another world, Roy was meeting with all of his State Alchemists. Riza flanked his right, casting worried glances at him. He'd been acting strangely all day, but she couldn't explain what exactly about him was off.

That wasn't her sole purpose for being there, though. She also wanted to keep an eye on the woman flanking his left: Elmarine. She'd been hanging around Roy a lot lately, and ever since she'd shown up at their date, Riza had gained certain suspicions. What was a civilian like her doing at a State Alchemists' meeting, anyway? And she didn't even have the decency to come in something more formal than jeans and a t-shirt.

She caught Riza's eye and smirked. Riza turned away furiously, focusing on the scene before her. All of the State Alchemists were surrounding a giant transmutation circle.

"On my command, you are to begin the transmutation. Understood?" Roy asked stiffly. There was a chorus of "Yes sir!" and Riza heard Elmarine giggle as if in anticipation.

She was looking upwards. Riza followed her gaze, noticing something that looked like a rift in the sky. She turned to tell Roy, but he'd already given the command to start the transmutation. A light shot into the sky, widening the rift. Black tendrils came out and shot towards them. The men scattered but Roy held his ground, therefore, Riza did as well.

The tendrils were coming for Roy, so she stepped in front of him and pulled out her gun. It did her no good. The tendrils grabbed her up anyway. She struggled against them, but it was no use. They began to pull her upwards.

She looked down and saw Roy shaking his head, as if snapping out of something. When he turned and saw the position she was in, his eyes widened.

"RIZA!" he called, pulling on his ignition glove. Before he could do anything, his feet were swept from under him.

Elmarine stepped on his chest, saying, "Sit, boy. Stay." She then jumped up and grabbed one of the tendrils, laughing as it pulled her and Riza into the rift.

**A/N: Told ya it'd be a cliffy. **

**What will happen to our heroes? Has the dynamic duo been dynamically disbanded? Has our dastardly villain finally won? Tune in next episode: same bat-time, same bat-channel. **

**Elmarine: You've been watching the old Batman show again, haven't you? **

**Me and Adam West: What's wrong with that? **

**Elmarine: No! No, we don't need you anymore, Adam! *takes out broom* Out! Out! Get out! *is hitting him with broom***

**Me: Aww, Elm, don't hit the TV star. *following her* Elm! **

**Batman: *comes out of hiding* Ha. West is gone. I can go back to kicking ass. **


	18. Expostion at The Gate

**A/N: Adam West: Hello, good citizens! I'm Batman!**

**RandomDude: *whacks him in back of head with stick***

**Adam West: I'm Adam West! I'm here to introduce the new chapter of Return Trip. As you all know, the last one was quite the cliffy! In this, things will finally become clear. There will be a lot of dialogue, as stated in the title "Exposition at the Gate," but it will still be Bat-tastic!**

**RandomDude: *whacks him in back of head with stick***

**Adam West: Cat-tastic! **

**RandomDude: *whacks him in back of head with stick***

**Adam West: Fantastic! **

**RandomDude: *whacks him in back of head with stick***

**Adam West: *rubs back of head* I said it right that time! **

**RandomDude: Yeah I just like hitting things. *hits Adam West with stick repeatedly***

**Me: *walks over* What's, uh, what's going on here?**

**Randomdude: I'm hitting Adam West with a stick. **

**Me: I thought you were the brick guy.**

**Randomdude: You gave my bricks to the fan base so they could pelt Elmarine with them.**

**Me: Oh, yeah…. Keep up the good work then! **

**Disclaimer: Yes, I realize that the A/N takes up almost an entire page. No, I am not sorry for it. **

**RandomDude: *whacks me in back of head with stick***

**Me: And no, I don't own FMA and A:TLA**

Once again, Ed was standing in front of The Gate. He looked around and noticed he was not alone. However, it wasn't The Truth that was with him, it was…

"Hawkeye?"

She turned and saw him.

"Edward?" she questioned, "How did you get here?"

"I should be asking you the same thing," Ed replied, "You're not even an alchemist."

"Shut up, both of you," said another voice. They turned to see Elmarine sporting an annoyed expression. Ed walked up to her.

"So are you just gonna finish me off now?" he asked angrily. She leaned over so as to be nose to nose with the small alchemist.

"Oh, I'd _love_ to do that, Elric," she said, her eyes gleaming with a dangerous level of insanity. She stood straight suddenly and smiled innocently.

"But, it's too late for that," she said, "Killing you now wouldn't help me at all. Besides, I'm not allowed to kill on _his_ turf."

Ed could easily guess who she was talking about, and it was obvious from her tone of voice that she was utterly disgusted with him. Riza pulled out her gun and aimed it at Elmarine's head.

"Tell us who and what you really are," she demanded. Elmarine looked at the gun and burst out into laughter.

"Are you kidding me with that thing?" she asked between giggles. Riza never wavered.

When Elmarine could control herself, she opened her arms and said, "Go ahead and shoot me if it'll make you feel better. But I should let you know that I don't die easily."

Riza put two bullets in the woman's head. Elmarine laughed again.

"You're a bold human," she said, smiling, "Just for that, I'll tell you my now-ex-evil-plan.

"First off, Edward, my main goal is not, nor has it ever been, you, so don't go thinking yourself important. No, my prime objective is this." She gestured toward The Gate.

"Beyond these doors lie a countless number of souls that are under my command. Enough to tear this place apart, if given the chance. But in order to gain access to them, I need two sacrifices." She pointed at Riza.

"One normal human," She held up two fingers, "And one keeper of balance."

Ed smirked and said, "I'm guessing I'm not the guy you're looking for."

"No. You're not," she said, "Who I really wanted was your brother. But you're just too chivalrous, aren't you? That's why I wanted to kill you. I knew you'd get in my way if I tried to hurt your brother. Well, you and a few other people. So I created a master plan to get rid of all my obstacles and keep me entertained."

"Entertained…?" Riza asked.

"Please save any more questions for the end of the villainous monologue," Elmarine interrupted, "Anywhos, the first thing I did was plant the circle in Roy's office, which you activated, Elric, sending the both of you into an alternate universe. This was the beginning of my manipulation of Roy.

"Also, by putting you into the picture, Ed, the Avatar's hopes would rise, only to be crushed even more severely at you death, thus leaving him more vulnerable to attack…"

"You bitch!" Ed shouted, throwing punches at her. She easily dodged each one and then kicked him to the ground.

"It would be lovely it we could continue without interruptions," she said as Riza kneeled down to help Ed.

"I first tried with Sparky-Sparky-BOOM-Man—you knew him as Kimblee—but your brother was being way too brave. I couldn't risk him dying, so I got rid of Kimblee. It's a shame. He was truly psychotic.

"Meanwhile, I used Roy and the circle I'd planted to get Izumi to the other world. While she was in prison, she couldn't do anything to stop me.

"And so, my plan went: you'd be dead, making Aang vulnerable; he would open the rift; I'd control Roy to open it on his side; use Riza's need to protect him to pull her through; and Aang, in the state he would be in, would probably go without a fight."

"But I survived," Ed stated, glaring at her.

"Yes, you survived, you little bastard."

"I'm curious, though. You had me on a silver platter at one point. Why didn't you just kill me then?"

"Because, silly, that's cheating," she said, smiling, "And cheating is no fun." She turned back to The Gate, clasping her hands behind her. She stared at it as if it was presenting her with some delightful challenge.

"Some day, I'll be tearing you down, and everything will plunge into sweet, delicious chaos," she said.

"But that day is not today," said another voice. They all turned around. Standing there was the white outline of a person, and it was grinning.

"Welcome back, Elmarine. You lose again," it said. She smiled herself.

"I'll win eventually," she said, "Besides, playing with you never loses its entertainment value."

On the surface, she seemed calm and content, as if the whole thing had just been a contest between friends. But her composure had weakened. The madness and anger that were bubbling just below the surface could now be seen. She was angry. Oh, was she angry! She would never show it though. Breaking down now would be a sign of weakness. She was _not_ going to show that in front of her enemy.

"You owe me compensation…" The Truth began.

"…for all the trouble I've caused. I know, I know," she cut it off, "I suppose I owe it to the Elrics the most." She turned to Ed and produced for him a sheet of paper with a transmutation circle on it.

Ed gave it a questioning look, to which she replied, "That is the completed circle for the portal. It will allow you to control where you appear in whichever would you are going to. Aang will be able to use it as well with that whole spiritbending thingy he can do."

"But…Why?" Ed asked. The woman had just tried to kill him in order to weaken his brother, and now she was giving them a way to see one another whenever they wished? What was _that_ all about?

"It's my compensation," she explained, "Every time I loose, I have to do one good deed for the people I've messed with the most."

Ed was still confused, and Riza even more so than him, but Elmarine didn't care. She was far too busy plotting her childish revenge against Ed (i.e. pushing him into a muddy puddle and running away laughing). She giggled evilly to herself and disappeared.

Ed stared at the spot she'd stood for a moment more, and then turned to The Truth, preparing to take whatever it had to dish out.

It laughed, and said, "Don't worry, Alchemist, I'm not going to take any part of you today."

The Gate opened, and the black tendrils returned to pull the two humans back in.

Boomshakalaka

Aang was staring at the sky in disbelief. His friends had had to hold him back to keep him from going after Ed. They were still doing so, if only to comfort one another. This was just not fair! How could it take Ed from him? How could Ed have jumped in the way? Why? Why? He'd just gotten him back! They'd just weathered the storm! So WHY! ? !

Just then, the sky exploded again. The tendrils came down, dropped something off, and then disappeared along with the rift. Aang looked over and saw that the figure they'd dropped off was, in fact, Ed.

He sprinted over and hugged his older brother, muttering "You idiot!" through tears. Ed wrapped his arms around Aang, saying, "I'm so sorry, Al. But I just couldn't loose you again."

"And you think _I_ want to loose_ you_?" Aang managed. He was crying heavily and clinging to Ed like a life-line. Ed held his little brother tighter and apologized again. Suki, Sokka, and Toph joined in the hug, all relieved that Ed was okay.

**A/N: What happened to Riza? Is Elmarine gone for good? Will the circle work? Will RandomDude stop hitting things with blunt objects? **

**RandomDude: *is still hitting Adam West with stick* No. Go away. **

**Me: He's so rude. Stay tuned for the epilogue! **


	19. Epilogue

**A/N: Yes, my friends. This is the epilogue. This is the end. This story is over.**

**EXCEPT! I happen to have a special treat for you guys that I will explain at the bottom of this chappie! So enjoy the last installment of Return Trip! **

**Disclaimer: For the final time, I don't own it. Sorry. **

"So, this is your world?" Katara asked.

"It doesn't look much different," Sokka commented.

"Yeah, well this is just Resembool. You should see the city," Aang said. He was very excited to be home.

Ed, on the other hand, remained silent. He was clutching his automail port and biting his lip.

"What's the matter, Metalbutt?" Toph taunted, punching Ed in the arm, "Nervous about seeing your girlfriend?" Ed shoved her away, blushing.

"She's probably not even here," he muttered.

"I thought you said she lived here," Sokka commented.

"Yeah, but she's training in Rush Valley, so she might not be here at the moment," Aang said. He trotted forward.

Turning back to his friends, he called, "C'mon, slowpokes, let's go!"

The others followed him, laughing. Ed took a deep breath and did the same.

Boomshakalaka

"So that's all she said?" Roy asked.

"Yes, sir," Riza answered.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, sir."

"She's gone for good?"

Riza had been in Roy's office, telling him all that had happened at The Gate. She smiled and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Roy, it's over. She's gone. I'm fine, Ed's fine, everything is going to be okay," she said.

Roy pulled her into a hug. She held him tightly and stroked the back of his head, comforting him, assuring him that she was there and alright.

Boomshakalaka

Den stared barking happily when she smelled the boys. She pounced on them and licked their faces.

"Ed? Al?" someone questioned. Aang pushed Den off of him.

"Winry!" he said excitedly.

Winry could hardly believe her eyes. The Elrics were home, and they were both alright. She had tears brimming in her eyes and was about to give them both a hug… when she saw it. The wrench came out and Ed's head gained a huge bump.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY AUTOMAIL! ? !" she shouted.

"Geez, Winry! I come back from being stuck in an alternate universe and the first thing you do is hit me with your goddamn wrench!" he shouted back.

"You should take better care of my automail!"

"You should stop being such a machine junkie!"

"You should…!" She wasn't able to finish her sentence, because Ed locked his lips with hers. She closed her eyes and gave in to the kiss. Ed put his hand on her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck. When they pulled apart, he hugged her.

"I should've thought about that years ago," he whispered in her ear. She laughed and shoved him away. She walked over to Aang and hugged him, saying how glad she was to see him alive.

They made introductions and went inside to begin the long explanation about what had happened while they were gone. Ed called Central Command to make sure Riza was okay. Luckily, The Gate had done nothing to her and she was fine.

After the explanation and some apple pie, the group decided to go to Central. They knew that Katara, Sokka, and Toph—especially Sokka—would freak out upon seeing all the technology there.

On the way to the train station, some little girl kicked Ed into a puddle of mud, shouted, "My vengeance is complete!" and ran off laughing.

"O-kay?" said Sokka as Aang helped Ed up. They shrugged and continued to the station.

Boomshakalaka

"Elmarine! C'mon babe, you've been in there for three days!"

When he didn't get an answer, he sighed and turned to his masked companion, Deadpool.

"Huh, I thought that would work," Deadpool said. The other man rubbed the back of his head, trying to think of what to do about his sulking girlfriend.

After a few moments, Deadpool asked, "So… Are you guys gonna break up any time soon or…" The man whacked him in the back of his head.

Inside the room, Elmarine was playing with Nuntius. The cat had a ball of string and she was pushing it around. Elmarine sighed.

"Ah, well. I guess I'll just have to go bug the anime version of Ed now."

Too late. I've already given dibs to some other peeps.

"….I really hate you sometimes."

**A/N: THE END!**

**Ed and Winry are together, Roy and Riza are together, Aang and Katara are together. They get to have lost of good times in Amestris **_**and**_** the Avatar world! Elmarine is being locked away in my head for a while, and things are never better! **

**Anime!Ed: What do you mean by you gave someone else dibs on bugging me? **

**Me: Oh, you'll see. Check my profile. *evil smile* As for the special treat I mentioned above, it's a behind the scenes cast and crew interview! Some of you already know about it, but I'll need questions. Ask the FMA cast, the A:TLA cast, me, Elmarine, and anyone else who was mentioned however randomly! **

**So leave your questions in your reviews or send me a PM! Anything you want, just get those questions out there. And, to be completely honest, I'm rather impatient, so the faster you ask, the more of a chance you have of getting your answers in fanfic form! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!**


	20. Behind the Scenes Cast and Crew Q&A Sess

Me: Casual readers, reviewers, PM buddies, welcome to the behind the scenes cast and crew Q&A session! Man, you don't know how much of a pain in the ass that title is to write! Alright, LET'S DO THIS! *picks up papers with questions on them*

_**Why is Ed so short?**_

Ed: WHO'RE YOU CALLING A HALF-PINT BEANSPROUT WHO CAN'T EVEN REACH THE STEPS HE'S SO SMALL! ? ! *tries to get at question*

All: *hold him back*

Me: Well, you see, things are just so much more fun when he's short! Watch! *turns to Ed* Small.

Ed: *asplodes into tiny bits*

Me: HAHA! That just never gets old!

Al/Aang: Brother? Are you okay? Brother?

_**Can I have a hug from Ed?**_

Ed: No, you….

Me: *covers his mouth* Of course you can! Ed hugs for everyone!

Ed: *muffled angry yells*

Me: Don't worry. He won't struggle. *takes out cattle prod*

Ed: *sweatdrop*

_**How did Sokka react the first time he saw Rush Valley?**_

Me: Something like this… *motions to scene behind me*

Sokka: *wide eyed and jaw dropped* The technology! The mechanics! The… The…!

Winry: The automail!

Sokka: YES! Show me! Show me it all! *starry eyes*

Winry: I'd love to!

Sokka and Winry: *skip off arm in arm*

Ed: I'm scared.

Random Mechanic: Hey, do you need…?

Ed: NO!

Random Mechanic: *walks away all sad-like*

_**What happened when GAang met the Central crew for the first time?**_

Me: I shall write it in a non-script format!

*FADE OUT AND BACK IN*

The GAang walked into the office at Central to see a woman holding a gun up to five other men, one of them being Roy Mustang. After a few awkward seconds, one of the men noticed them.

"Hey, the boss is back!"

Riza stood down and they made introductions.

"We've heard about you. I wish I could get my idiots to listen to me like you get your idiots to," said Katara. They looked over to the boys and Toph, who were already messing around with Aang's head. Breda was rubbing it with his sleeve as if he were polishing it, Fallman was looking at the arrow curiously, Furey was smiling, and Havoc was laughing along with Sokka, Toph, Roy, and Ed. Aang stood there, half laughing and blushing a little. He took a glance at the ladies. They laughed a little at the boys' and Toph's ridiculousness.

Suddenly, the door flew open and revealed a hulking, buff, sparkling man.

"Good day, my fellow soldiers!" he boomed.

"Hey, Major," Ed said. Major Alex Louis Armstrong's eyes widened upon seeing Ed.

"Edward Elric!" he exclaimed, flinging his shirt off and crushing Ed in a bear hug, "It is so good to see you home and in good spirits!"

"Help!" Ed wheezed.

"Hi, Major," Aang said. Armstrong paused his suffocation of Ed to see who had spoken. He noticed all the new people there.

"And who might you all be?" he asked, still not releasing Ed.

"It's Alphonse, Major," Aang said, smiling. Armstrong's eyes widened even more.

"ALPHONSE ELRIC!" He gave Aang the same treatment as Ed. "It is so very good to see you alive and in a human form!"

"Why is he crushing them with his shirt off?" Sokka asked.

"That's how the Major shows affection," Furey said, sweatdropping. By this time, Armstrong was bawling and Ed and Aang were turning blue.

"Alright, Major, I think they've had enough," said Roy. Armstrong put the Elrics down. They made introductions and Armstrong sparkled as he shook each one of their hands. Katara and Sokka seemed a little unsure of how to act around him, but Toph didn't seem to mind too much.

*FADE OUT AND BACK IN*

Me: Yup! So that's what happened. I loves Armstrong. XD

_**I remember how when you first started writing this story, Al and Aang WEREN'T the same person. So I'm wondering...what had you been planning on doing if you had left Al as a separate character?**_

Me: Hmm… Well, I had thought that Aang had gotten lost in Ed's world when he was little and stayed there for a while, or Ed had gotten lost in Aang's world and they'd talked about alchemy and bending and their families and all that good stuff and they were kind of like brothers and then Ed got back with alchemy. OR they _both_ got lost in a different universe and Ed and Aang had been adopted by the same people and had somehow gotten home. And then other stuff would have happened, but I didn't think that far ahead.

And then I changed my mind. Cuz I'm the author and I can do that.

I… I feel so powerful! Hey can I….

Hiromu Arakawa: We've been over this!

Me: Y-yes my bovine sensei!

_**Elmarine, how many times have you failed in the past?**_

Elmarine: Who wants Dark Side cookies?

Me: Don't change the subject, Elm. Answer the question.

Elmarine: Do I have to? Can't we just talk about how awesome I am?

Me: *glares*

Ed and Roy: *eating popcorn, eagerly awaiting Elmarine's embarrassment*

Elmarine: I hate you all. I…I lost count…

Roy: *smirks* And why is that?

Elmarine: *glares* Because… because… Oh, do I really have to answer?

Me: Yup. *takes some of Ed and Roy's popcorn*

Elmarine: Grrrr… Fine! Because it's such a gigantically huge number! Are you happy?

Me, Ed, and Roy: *laughing at Elmarine's misery*

_**Katara, how does it feel to know your boyfriend is from an alternate dimension and used to be a blond?**_

Katara: I think it's really cool. I get to learn all about a completely different culture that no one else knows about and share in it. As for the hair, I really to like it when he has hair.

Al/Aang: You do?

Katara: *nods*

Al/Aang: *blushes*

Katara: *kisses him*

Al/Aang: *kisses her back*

Ed: Get a room.

Katara and Al/Aang: *back away and blush*

_**Ed, how did you beat the rancor and get back to everyone else? I want ze gory details!**_

Ed: Actually, it wasn't really a rancor…

Elmarine: Yeah! A real rancor looks like this! *points at rancor she's holding leash to*

Ed: Yeah! Like that! …Wait a minute…

Elmarine: Attack, my pet!

Rancor: *roars and attacks*

Me: Aw, shit, LUKE!

Luke Skywalker: *jumps in and saves the day with his totally awesome Jedi skillz*

Me: *grabs Elmarine's ear* No! No! Bad Elmarine! Bad! Back in The Vault *creepy music* for you, young lady! *throws her in* You were saying Ed?

Ed: Uhmm… well…

*FADE OUT AND BACK IN*

Elmarine's laughter rang in Ed's ears. He struggled to his feet and got into a fighting stance to face the oncoming hippo-dile. He barely avoided its enormous maw when it struck. He flipped through the air and transmuted his automail into a blade.

The hippo-dile crashed into the wall, but that hardly phased it. It just turned around and snarled at Ed. Ed held his arm-sword up, preparing himself for the next attack. He managed to avoid it the next few times by jumping around, but it finally caught his automail leg in its jaws. It shook Ed around and smashed him into the wall, knocking him out.

When he woke up a few seconds later, he saw that the jaws were just about to chomp down on him. He thought quickly and moved out of the way, allowing it to catch his automail arm. He stuck the blade through the roof of the hippo-dile's mouth. It roared in pain and pulled away.

Ed detached himself from the monster and ran as far away from it as he could, trying to find a way to get out. The hippo-dile didn't give him too long to do that, though. It stared him down, blood pouring from its mouth, and charged again. Ed jumped and tried to scrape its back, but the armored skin was too thick. Sparks danced off its back and its tail sung around. It smashed into Ed and sent him flying in the other direction.

Ed spat out some blood and struggled back to his feet. He had to be smarter if he was going to win. He remembered that crocodiles had softer skin on their underbellies. He hoped it was the same with this much larger and more powerful beast as it charged forward again. He slid underneath the jaws. He stabbed the hippo-dile in the neck and dragged the blade down the length of its belly as he slid.

The monster howled in agony and fell over. Blood and organs flowed from the wound; onto the ground and Ed. It writhed and howled for a while more, then twitched and breathed its last.

Ed sighed in relief and picked himself up. He wiped some of the excess blood off of himself and looked up from the hole he was in. With the hippo-dile dead, he had time to figure a way out of the it. He clapped his hands and transmuted notches into the side of the wall. He climbed up them and transmuted the bars off the top of the hole trough which Elmarine had been watching the battle.

He pulled himself out and onto the floor where he lied down, panting. Elmarine walked up and looked down at him curiously. Nuntius was draped across her shoulders wearing the same expression. Ed knew he was going to have to fight her, and did his best to muster up the energy to do so. She smiled widely and pointed at him. Here it comes…

"I am your father!" she declared. Ed raised an eyebrow.

"…Wha?" he questioned, thoroughly confused. She stood straight and clenched her fist in front of her.

"Join me and together we shall rule the galaxy as father and son!" she said. Ed lowered his eyelids. He understood now. The woman was absolutely nuts. He rolled over and pushed himself up off the floor.

"Yeah…I think I'll pass," he said, cracking his back.

"You cannot resist the power of the Dark Side!" she shouted at him, pointing again. Ed rolled his eyes.

"Okay, I'm leaving now," he said, motioning towards the door with his thumb. He left her laughing evilly to herself, lost in her own little world of Jedi and Sith.

*FADE OUT AND BACK IN*

Ed: …And that's about it. I still don't get what she was talking about, though.

Elmarine: *talking to Darth Vader over dinner* So, how are your plans for world domination going?

Me: NO! No! What did I just say? *grabs her ear* I'm getting really tired of this.

Darth Vader: *twiddles thumbs awkwardly*

Me: *jumps in vacant seat* Sorry to keep you waiting Darth! *leans forward with chin on hands* Sooooo… What do you want to talk about?

Darth Vader: *sweatdrops*

Ed: Ok. This is getting really weird. I'm leaving.

Al/Aang: The author would like me to let you know that she wants you to use your imagination in regards to the appearance of the hippo-dile since she is too busy flirting with Darth Vader.

_**End of Questions**_

Me: *notices readers* Huh? Oh, yeah. The end and stuff. *goes back to making goo-goo eyes at Darth Vader*

Luke Skywalker: *jumps in with lightsaber*

Darth Vader: *pulls out lightsaber and fights him*

Me: Oh, damnit. *turns to readers* Well, folks, that's the end! I want to thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews, PM conversations, and for simply sticking with this story until its end! A special thanks to FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom, fayfan, BakurasLover2011, archsage328, Hungary-senpai, and ArchShadow24 for their wonderful questions! This chappie wouldn't be possible without them! Goodbye everyone! Say goodbye, Ed! *notices he's not here* Aang, where's your brother?

Al/Aang: He said things were getting too weird for him, so he left.

Me: What? Things aren't weird around here!

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader: *lightsaber fight still going on in background*

Me: Yup! Not weird at all!


End file.
